Crossroads
NahopehedoorforAnneNelsonasshewentout.
"Good-bye,Noah,"shesaidquietly.
Hehoutspeaking.Therewasntanythiosay;theybothkhat.Sheturnedfromhima,closingthedoorbehindher.Noahwatchedherwalktohercar,getin,anddriveawaywithoutlookingback.Shewasastrongwomahoughttohimself,andheknewwhereAlliegotitfrom.
Noahpeekedinthelivingroom,sawAlliesittingwithherheaddown,theothebackporowingthatsheobealoquietlyinhisrockerandwatchedthewaterdriftingbyastheminutespassed.
Afterwhatseemedlikeayheheardthebackdooropen.Hedidntturntolookatherjustthen-forsomereasonhecouldnt-aenedasshesatinthechairbesidehim.
"Imsorry,"Alliesaid."Ihadhiswouldhappen."
Noahshookhishead."Dontbesorry.Webothkwasinginsomeformoranother."
"Itsstillhard."
"Iknow."Hefinallyturoher,reagforherhand."IsthereanythingIakeiteasier?"
Sheshookherhead."No.Notreally.Ihavetodothisalone.Besides,ImnotsurewhatImgoingtosaytohimyet."
Shelookeddownandhervoicebecamesofterandalittlemoredistant,asifsheweretalkingtoherself."Iguessitdependsonhimandhowmuchheknows.Ifmymotherwasright,hemayhavesuspis,buthedoesntknowanythingforsure."
Noahfeltatightnessinhisstomach.Whenhefinallyspokehisvoicewassteady,butshecouldhearthepaininit.
"Yourenotgoingtotellhimaboutus,areyou?"
"Idontknow.Ireallydont.WhileIwasinthelivingroom,IkeptaskingmyselfwhatIreallywantedinmylife."Shesqueezedhishand."Anddoyouknowwhattheanswerwas?TheanswerwasthatIwawothings.First,Iwantyou.Iwantus.IloveyouandIalwayshave."
Shetookadeepbreathbefoingon.
"ButIalsoyendingwithouthurtinganyone.AndIknowthatifIstayed,peoplewouldbehurt.EspeciallyLon.IwasntlyioldyouthatIlovehim.Hedoesntmakemefeelthesamewayyoudo,butIcareforhim,andthiswouldntbefairtohim.Butstayingherewouldalsohurtmyfamilyandfriends.IwouldbebetrayingeveryoneIknow.IdontknowifIdothat."
"Youtliveyourlifeforotherpeople.Youvegottodowhatsrightforyou,evenifithurtssomepeopleyoulove."
"Iknow,"shesaid,"butnomatterwhatIchooseIhavetolivewithit.Forever.Ihavetobeabletogoforwardandnotlookbaymore.youuandthat?"
Heshookhisheadandtriedtokeephisvoicesteady."Notreally.Notifitmeanslosingyou.Itdothatagain."
Shedidntsayanythingbutloweredherhead.Noahwenton:"Couldyoureallyleavemewithoutlookingback?"
Shebitherlipassheanswered.Hervoicewasbeginningtocrack."Idontknow.Probablynot."
"WouldthatbefairtoLon?"
Shedidntanswerrightaway.Insteadshestood,wipedherfadwalkedtotheedgeoftheporchwheresheleanedagainstthepost.Shecrossedherarmsandwatchedthewaterbeforeansweringquietly."No."
"Itdoesnthavetobelikethis,Allie,"hesaid."Wereadultsnow,wehavethechoicewedidnthavebefore.Weremeanttobetogether.Wealwayshavebeen."
Hewalkedtohersideandputhishandonhershoulder."Idontwanttolivetherestofmylifethinkingaboutyouanddreamingofwhatmighthavebeen.Staywithme,Allie."
Tearsbegantofillhereyes."IdontknowifI,"shefinallywhispered.
"You.Allie...Itlivemylifehappilyknowingyourewithsomeoneelse.Thatwouldkillapartofme.Whatwehaveisrare.Itstoobeautifultojustthrowitaway."
Shedidntrespond.Afteramomelyturowardhim,tookherhands,andstaredather,williolookathim.Alliefinallyfacedhimwithmoisteyes.Afteralongsilenoahbrushedthetearsfromhercheekswithhisfingers,alookoftendernessonhisface.Hisvoicecaughtashesawwhathereyesweretellinghim.
"Yourenotgoingtostay,areyou?"Hesmiledweakly."Youwantto,butyout."
"Oh,Noah,"shesaidasthetearsbeganagain,"pleasetrytouand"
Heshookhisheadtostopher."Iknowwhatyouretryingtosay-Iseeitinyoureyes.ButIdontwanttouandit,Allie.Idontwantittoendthisway.Idontwantittoendatall.Butifyouleave,webothknowwellneverseeeachain."
SheleaohimaocryharderasNoahfoughtbackhisowntears.
Heedhisarmsaroundher.
"Allie,Itforceyoutostaywithme.Butnomatterpensinmylife,Illneverfettheselastcoupleofdayswithyou.Ivebeendreamingaboutthisforyears."
Hekissedhergently,andtheyembracedastheyhadwhenshefirstgotoutofhercartwodaysago.FinallyAllielethimgoandwipedhertears.
"Ihavetogetmythings,Noah."
Hedidntgoihher.Insteadhesatdownintherocker,spechedhergointothehouseandlistehesoundofhermovementsfadedintonothing.
Sheemergedfromthehousemierwitheverythingshedbroughtandwalkedtowardhimwithherheaddown.Shehandedhimthedrawingshehaddoerdaym.Ashetookit,henoticedthatshehadntstoppedg.
"Here,Noah.Imadethisforyou."
Noahtookthedrawingandunrolleditslowly,carefulnottotearit.
Thereweredualimages,oneoverlappiher.Theimageinthefround,whichoccupiedmostofthepage,ictureofhowhelookednow,notfourteenyearsago.Noahnoticedthatshehadpenciledineverydetailofhisfacludingthescar.Itwasalmostasifshedcopieditfromaretphotograph.
Theseagewasthatofthefrontofthehouse.Thedetailtherewasalsoincredible,asifshehadsketcheditwhilesittihtheoaktree.
"Itsbeautiful,Allie.Thankyou."Heattemptedasmile."Itoldyouthatyouwereanartist."
Shenodded,herfacecastdownward,herlipspressedtogether.Itwastimefo.
Theywalkedtohercarslowly,withoutspeaking.Whentheyreachedit,Noahembracedheragainuntilhecouldfeelthetearswellingupinhisowneyes.Hekissedherlipsandbothcheeks,thenwithhisfingersoftlybrushedtheplaceshedkissed.
"Iloveyou,Allie."
"Iloveyou,too."
Noahopenedhercardoor,andtheykissedonemoretime.Thensheslidbehindthewheel,akinghereyesfromhim.Sheputthepacketoflettersandthepocketbookoheroandfumbledforthekeys,thenturheignition.Itstartedeasily,andtheengioturnoverimpatiently.Itwasalmosttime.
Noahpushedherdoorclosedwithbothhands,andAllierolleddownthewindow.Shecouldseethemusclesinhisarms,theeasysmile,thetannedface.ShereachedoutherhandandNoahtookitforjustamoment,movinghisfingerssoftlyagainstherskin.
"Staywithme,"Noahmouthedwithoutsound,andthisforsomereasonhurtmorethanAlliewouldhaveexpected.Thetearsbegantofallhardnow,butshecouldntspeak.
Finally,relutly,shelookedaulledherhandfromhis.Sheputthegearandeasedthepedaldownjustabit.Ifshedidntleavenow,sheneverwould.
Noahbackedupjustabitasthecarstartedtorollaway.Hefellintoanalmosttrance-likestateashefelttherealityofthesituation.
Hewatchedthecarrollslowlyforward;heheardthegravelguhewheels.
Slowlythecarbegantoturnfromhim,towardtheroadthatwouldtakeherbacktotown.Leaving-shewasleaving!-andNoahfeltdizzyatthesight.Edgingforward..,pasthimnow...
Shewavedotimewithoutsmilingbeforeshebegantoaccelerate,andhewavedbackweakly.
"Dontgo!"hewaoshoutasthecarmovedfartheraway.Buthedidntsayanything,andamierthecarwasgoheonlyremainingsignsofherwerethetracksthathercarhadleftbehind.
Hestoodtherewithoutmovingforalongtime.Asquicklyasshehade,shewasgone.
Foreverthistime.Forever.
Heclosedhiseyesthenandwatchedherleaveoncemore,hercarmovingsteadilyawayfromhim,takinghisheartwithher.
But,likehermother,herealizedsadly,sheneverlookedback.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
"Good-bye,Noah,"shesaidquietly.
Hehoutspeaking.Therewasntanythiosay;theybothkhat.Sheturnedfromhima,closingthedoorbehindher.Noahwatchedherwalktohercar,getin,anddriveawaywithoutlookingback.Shewasastrongwomahoughttohimself,andheknewwhereAlliegotitfrom.
Noahpeekedinthelivingroom,sawAlliesittingwithherheaddown,theothebackporowingthatsheobealoquietlyinhisrockerandwatchedthewaterdriftingbyastheminutespassed.
Afterwhatseemedlikeayheheardthebackdooropen.Hedidntturntolookatherjustthen-forsomereasonhecouldnt-aenedasshesatinthechairbesidehim.
"Imsorry,"Alliesaid."Ihadhiswouldhappen."
Noahshookhishead."Dontbesorry.Webothkwasinginsomeformoranother."
"Itsstillhard."
"Iknow."Hefinallyturoher,reagforherhand."IsthereanythingIakeiteasier?"
Sheshookherhead."No.Notreally.Ihavetodothisalone.Besides,ImnotsurewhatImgoingtosaytohimyet."
Shelookeddownandhervoicebecamesofterandalittlemoredistant,asifsheweretalkingtoherself."Iguessitdependsonhimandhowmuchheknows.Ifmymotherwasright,hemayhavesuspis,buthedoesntknowanythingforsure."
Noahfeltatightnessinhisstomach.Whenhefinallyspokehisvoicewassteady,butshecouldhearthepaininit.
"Yourenotgoingtotellhimaboutus,areyou?"
"Idontknow.Ireallydont.WhileIwasinthelivingroom,IkeptaskingmyselfwhatIreallywantedinmylife."Shesqueezedhishand."Anddoyouknowwhattheanswerwas?TheanswerwasthatIwawothings.First,Iwantyou.Iwantus.IloveyouandIalwayshave."
Shetookadeepbreathbefoingon.
"ButIalsoyendingwithouthurtinganyone.AndIknowthatifIstayed,peoplewouldbehurt.EspeciallyLon.IwasntlyioldyouthatIlovehim.Hedoesntmakemefeelthesamewayyoudo,butIcareforhim,andthiswouldntbefairtohim.Butstayingherewouldalsohurtmyfamilyandfriends.IwouldbebetrayingeveryoneIknow.IdontknowifIdothat."
"Youtliveyourlifeforotherpeople.Youvegottodowhatsrightforyou,evenifithurtssomepeopleyoulove."
"Iknow,"shesaid,"butnomatterwhatIchooseIhavetolivewithit.Forever.Ihavetobeabletogoforwardandnotlookbaymore.youuandthat?"
Heshookhisheadandtriedtokeephisvoicesteady."Notreally.Notifitmeanslosingyou.Itdothatagain."
Shedidntsayanythingbutloweredherhead.Noahwenton:"Couldyoureallyleavemewithoutlookingback?"
Shebitherlipassheanswered.Hervoicewasbeginningtocrack."Idontknow.Probablynot."
"WouldthatbefairtoLon?"
Shedidntanswerrightaway.Insteadshestood,wipedherfadwalkedtotheedgeoftheporchwheresheleanedagainstthepost.Shecrossedherarmsandwatchedthewaterbeforeansweringquietly."No."
"Itdoesnthavetobelikethis,Allie,"hesaid."Wereadultsnow,wehavethechoicewedidnthavebefore.Weremeanttobetogether.Wealwayshavebeen."
Hewalkedtohersideandputhishandonhershoulder."Idontwanttolivetherestofmylifethinkingaboutyouanddreamingofwhatmighthavebeen.Staywithme,Allie."
Tearsbegantofillhereyes."IdontknowifI,"shefinallywhispered.
"You.Allie...Itlivemylifehappilyknowingyourewithsomeoneelse.Thatwouldkillapartofme.Whatwehaveisrare.Itstoobeautifultojustthrowitaway."
Shedidntrespond.Afteramomelyturowardhim,tookherhands,andstaredather,williolookathim.Alliefinallyfacedhimwithmoisteyes.Afteralongsilenoahbrushedthetearsfromhercheekswithhisfingers,alookoftendernessonhisface.Hisvoicecaughtashesawwhathereyesweretellinghim.
"Yourenotgoingtostay,areyou?"Hesmiledweakly."Youwantto,butyout."
"Oh,Noah,"shesaidasthetearsbeganagain,"pleasetrytouand"
Heshookhisheadtostopher."Iknowwhatyouretryingtosay-Iseeitinyoureyes.ButIdontwanttouandit,Allie.Idontwantittoendthisway.Idontwantittoendatall.Butifyouleave,webothknowwellneverseeeachain."
SheleaohimaocryharderasNoahfoughtbackhisowntears.
Heedhisarmsaroundher.
"Allie,Itforceyoutostaywithme.Butnomatterpensinmylife,Illneverfettheselastcoupleofdayswithyou.Ivebeendreamingaboutthisforyears."
Hekissedhergently,andtheyembracedastheyhadwhenshefirstgotoutofhercartwodaysago.FinallyAllielethimgoandwipedhertears.
"Ihavetogetmythings,Noah."
Hedidntgoihher.Insteadhesatdownintherocker,spechedhergointothehouseandlistehesoundofhermovementsfadedintonothing.
Sheemergedfromthehousemierwitheverythingshedbroughtandwalkedtowardhimwithherheaddown.Shehandedhimthedrawingshehaddoerdaym.Ashetookit,henoticedthatshehadntstoppedg.
"Here,Noah.Imadethisforyou."
Noahtookthedrawingandunrolleditslowly,carefulnottotearit.
Thereweredualimages,oneoverlappiher.Theimageinthefround,whichoccupiedmostofthepage,ictureofhowhelookednow,notfourteenyearsago.Noahnoticedthatshehadpenciledineverydetailofhisfacludingthescar.Itwasalmostasifshedcopieditfromaretphotograph.
Theseagewasthatofthefrontofthehouse.Thedetailtherewasalsoincredible,asifshehadsketcheditwhilesittihtheoaktree.
"Itsbeautiful,Allie.Thankyou."Heattemptedasmile."Itoldyouthatyouwereanartist."
Shenodded,herfacecastdownward,herlipspressedtogether.Itwastimefo.
Theywalkedtohercarslowly,withoutspeaking.Whentheyreachedit,Noahembracedheragainuntilhecouldfeelthetearswellingupinhisowneyes.Hekissedherlipsandbothcheeks,thenwithhisfingersoftlybrushedtheplaceshedkissed.
"Iloveyou,Allie."
"Iloveyou,too."
Noahopenedhercardoor,andtheykissedonemoretime.Thensheslidbehindthewheel,akinghereyesfromhim.Sheputthepacketoflettersandthepocketbookoheroandfumbledforthekeys,thenturheignition.Itstartedeasily,andtheengioturnoverimpatiently.Itwasalmosttime.
Noahpushedherdoorclosedwithbothhands,andAllierolleddownthewindow.Shecouldseethemusclesinhisarms,theeasysmile,thetannedface.ShereachedoutherhandandNoahtookitforjustamoment,movinghisfingerssoftlyagainstherskin.
"Staywithme,"Noahmouthedwithoutsound,andthisforsomereasonhurtmorethanAlliewouldhaveexpected.Thetearsbegantofallhardnow,butshecouldntspeak.
Finally,relutly,shelookedaulledherhandfromhis.Sheputthegearandeasedthepedaldownjustabit.Ifshedidntleavenow,sheneverwould.
Noahbackedupjustabitasthecarstartedtorollaway.Hefellintoanalmosttrance-likestateashefelttherealityofthesituation.
Hewatchedthecarrollslowlyforward;heheardthegravelguhewheels.
Slowlythecarbegantoturnfromhim,towardtheroadthatwouldtakeherbacktotown.Leaving-shewasleaving!-andNoahfeltdizzyatthesight.Edgingforward..,pasthimnow...
Shewavedotimewithoutsmilingbeforeshebegantoaccelerate,andhewavedbackweakly.
"Dontgo!"hewaoshoutasthecarmovedfartheraway.Buthedidntsayanything,andamierthecarwasgoheonlyremainingsignsofherwerethetracksthathercarhadleftbehind.
Hestoodtherewithoutmovingforalongtime.Asquicklyasshehade,shewasgone.
Foreverthistime.Forever.
Heclosedhiseyesthenandwatchedherleaveoncemore,hercarmovingsteadilyawayfromhim,takinghisheartwithher.
But,likehermother,herealizedsadly,sheneverlookedback.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读