Crossroads

  NahopehedoorforAnneNelsonasshewentout.

  "Good-bye,Noah,"shesaidquietly.

  Hehoutspeaking.Therewasntanythiosay;theybothkhat.Sheturnedfromhima,closingthedoorbehindher.Noahwatchedherwalktohercar,getin,anddriveawaywithoutlookingback.Shewasastrongwomahoughttohimself,andheknewwhereAlliegotitfrom.

  Noahpeekedinthelivingroom,sawAlliesittingwithherheaddown,theothebackporowingthatsheobealoquietlyinhisrockerandwatchedthewaterdriftingbyastheminutespassed.

  Afterwhatseemedlikeayheheardthebackdooropen.Hedidntturntolookatherjustthen-forsomereasonhecouldnt-aenedasshesatinthechairbesidehim.

  "Imsorry,"Alliesaid."Ihadhiswouldhappen."

  Noahshookhishead."Dontbesorry.Webothkwasinginsomeformoranother."

  "Itsstillhard."

  "Iknow."Hefinallyturoher,reagforherhand."IsthereanythingIakeiteasier?"

  Sheshookherhead."No.Notreally.Ihavetodothisalone.Besides,ImnotsurewhatImgoingtosaytohimyet."

  Shelookeddownandhervoicebecamesofterandalittlemoredistant,asifsheweretalkingtoherself."Iguessitdependsonhimandhowmuchheknows.Ifmymotherwasright,hemayhavesuspis,buthedoesntknowanythingforsure."

  Noahfeltatightnessinhisstomach.Whenhefinallyspokehisvoicewassteady,butshecouldhearthepaininit.

  "Yourenotgoingtotellhimaboutus,areyou?"

  "Idontknow.Ireallydont.WhileIwasinthelivingroom,IkeptaskingmyselfwhatIreallywantedinmylife."Shesqueezedhishand."Anddoyouknowwhattheanswerwas?TheanswerwasthatIwawothings.First,Iwantyou.Iwantus.IloveyouandIalwayshave."

  Shetookadeepbreathbefoingon.

  "ButIalsoyendingwithouthurtinganyone.AndIknowthatifIstayed,peoplewouldbehurt.EspeciallyLon.IwasntlyioldyouthatIlovehim.Hedoesntmakemefeelthesamewayyoudo,butIcareforhim,andthiswouldntbefairtohim.Butstayingherewouldalsohurtmyfamilyandfriends.IwouldbebetrayingeveryoneIknow.IdontknowifIdothat."

  "Youtliveyourlifeforotherpeople.Youvegottodowhatsrightforyou,evenifithurtssomepeopleyoulove."

  "Iknow,"shesaid,"butnomatterwhatIchooseIhavetolivewithit.Forever.Ihavetobeabletogoforwardandnotlookbaymore.youuandthat?"

  Heshookhisheadandtriedtokeephisvoicesteady."Notreally.Notifitmeanslosingyou.Itdothatagain."

  Shedidntsayanythingbutloweredherhead.Noahwenton:"Couldyoureallyleavemewithoutlookingback?"

  Shebitherlipassheanswered.Hervoicewasbeginningtocrack."Idontknow.Probablynot."

  "WouldthatbefairtoLon?"

  Shedidntanswerrightaway.Insteadshestood,wipedherfadwalkedtotheedgeoftheporchwheresheleanedagainstthepost.Shecrossedherarmsandwatchedthewaterbeforeansweringquietly."No."

  "Itdoesnthavetobelikethis,Allie,"hesaid."Wereadultsnow,wehavethechoicewedidnthavebefore.Weremeanttobetogether.Wealwayshavebeen."

  Hewalkedtohersideandputhishandonhershoulder."Idontwanttolivetherestofmylifethinkingaboutyouanddreamingofwhatmighthavebeen.Staywithme,Allie."

  Tearsbegantofillhereyes."IdontknowifI,"shefinallywhispered.

  "You.Allie...Itlivemylifehappilyknowingyourewithsomeoneelse.Thatwouldkillapartofme.Whatwehaveisrare.Itstoobeautifultojustthrowitaway."

  Shedidntrespond.Afteramomelyturowardhim,tookherhands,andstaredather,williolookathim.Alliefinallyfacedhimwithmoisteyes.Afteralongsilenoahbrushedthetearsfromhercheekswithhisfingers,alookoftendernessonhisface.Hisvoicecaughtashesawwhathereyesweretellinghim.

  "Yourenotgoingtostay,areyou?"Hesmiledweakly."Youwantto,butyout."

  "Oh,Noah,"shesaidasthetearsbeganagain,"pleasetrytouand"

  Heshookhisheadtostopher."Iknowwhatyouretryingtosay-Iseeitinyoureyes.ButIdontwanttouandit,Allie.Idontwantittoendthisway.Idontwantittoendatall.Butifyouleave,webothknowwellneverseeeachain."

  SheleaohimaocryharderasNoahfoughtbackhisowntears.

  Heedhisarmsaroundher.

  "Allie,Itforceyoutostaywithme.Butnomatterpensinmylife,Illneverfettheselastcoupleofdayswithyou.Ivebeendreamingaboutthisforyears."

  Hekissedhergently,andtheyembracedastheyhadwhenshefirstgotoutofhercartwodaysago.FinallyAllielethimgoandwipedhertears.

  "Ihavetogetmythings,Noah."

  Hedidntgoihher.Insteadhesatdownintherocker,spechedhergointothehouseandlistehesoundofhermovementsfadedintonothing.

  Sheemergedfromthehousemierwitheverythingshedbroughtandwalkedtowardhimwithherheaddown.Shehandedhimthedrawingshehaddoerdaym.Ashetookit,henoticedthatshehadntstoppedg.

  "Here,Noah.Imadethisforyou."

  Noahtookthedrawingandunrolleditslowly,carefulnottotearit.

  Thereweredualimages,oneoverlappiher.Theimageinthefround,whichoccupiedmostofthepage,ictureofhowhelookednow,notfourteenyearsago.Noahnoticedthatshehadpenciledineverydetailofhisfacludingthescar.Itwasalmostasifshedcopieditfromaretphotograph.

  Theseagewasthatofthefrontofthehouse.Thedetailtherewasalsoincredible,asifshehadsketcheditwhilesittihtheoaktree.

  "Itsbeautiful,Allie.Thankyou."Heattemptedasmile."Itoldyouthatyouwereanartist."

  Shenodded,herfacecastdownward,herlipspressedtogether.Itwastimefo.

  Theywalkedtohercarslowly,withoutspeaking.Whentheyreachedit,Noahembracedheragainuntilhecouldfeelthetearswellingupinhisowneyes.Hekissedherlipsandbothcheeks,thenwithhisfingersoftlybrushedtheplaceshedkissed.

  "Iloveyou,Allie."

  "Iloveyou,too."

  Noahopenedhercardoor,andtheykissedonemoretime.Thensheslidbehindthewheel,akinghereyesfromhim.Sheputthepacketoflettersandthepocketbookoheroandfumbledforthekeys,thenturheignition.Itstartedeasily,andtheengioturnoverimpatiently.Itwasalmosttime.

  Noahpushedherdoorclosedwithbothhands,andAllierolleddownthewindow.Shecouldseethemusclesinhisarms,theeasysmile,thetannedface.ShereachedoutherhandandNoahtookitforjustamoment,movinghisfingerssoftlyagainstherskin.

  "Staywithme,"Noahmouthedwithoutsound,andthisforsomereasonhurtmorethanAlliewouldhaveexpected.Thetearsbegantofallhardnow,butshecouldntspeak.

  Finally,relutly,shelookedaulledherhandfromhis.Sheputthegearandeasedthepedaldownjustabit.Ifshedidntleavenow,sheneverwould.

  Noahbackedupjustabitasthecarstartedtorollaway.Hefellintoanalmosttrance-likestateashefelttherealityofthesituation.

  Hewatchedthecarrollslowlyforward;heheardthegravelguhewheels.

  Slowlythecarbegantoturnfromhim,towardtheroadthatwouldtakeherbacktotown.Leaving-shewasleaving!-andNoahfeltdizzyatthesight.Edgingforward..,pasthimnow...

  Shewavedotimewithoutsmilingbeforeshebegantoaccelerate,andhewavedbackweakly.

  "Dontgo!"hewaoshoutasthecarmovedfartheraway.Buthedidntsayanything,andamierthecarwasgoheonlyremainingsignsofherwerethetracksthathercarhadleftbehind.

  Hestoodtherewithoutmovingforalongtime.Asquicklyasshehade,shewasgone.

  Foreverthistime.Forever.

  Heclosedhiseyesthenandwatchedherleaveoncemore,hercarmovingsteadilyawayfromhim,takinghisheartwithher.

  But,likehermother,herealizedsadly,sheneverlookedback.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读

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