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  ThomasofferedtheDeadFatheradotboundinbluepaper.

  Whatisit?

  Readit,Thomassaid.

  Itwasawill.

  Itisawill,theDeadFathersaid,whose?

  Wethoughtitbestthatyoutaketheprecaution,Thomassaid.Manypeopleareielyprepared.

  Idontwanttomakeawill,saidtheDeadFather.

  stomakeawill,saidThomas.Stillitisaprudehatwethoughtyououghttotake,inyourwisdom.

  Mywisdom,saidtheDeadFather.Infinite.Unmatched.Still,Idontwanttomakeawill.

  Prudendwisdombeingtwoofyourstrosuits,Thomassaid.

  Dashmywig!saidtheDeadFather,Illnotdoit.Imtooyoung.

  Thomaslookedupintothesky.

  Ofcourseitsentirelyuptoyou,hesaid.Ifyouwishtoleaveyouraffairsinrottenmishmashycluttersomedisarray...

  Imtooyoung!theDeadFathersaid.

  Ofcourseyouare,saidThomas,soareweall.Yetthereisaveininyouthatmaypopatanytime.Ihaveidentifiedit.Runsuptherightlegandwhoknows,whoknowswhereitwandersafteritleavestheleg.Lurkingpotentialembolismsme.Idontwantthtenyou,butyougetthepicture.

  BytheHolyGoat,theDeadFathersaid,Iwillnot.

  Thomaswavedhishandsintheairsuggestingexhaustedpatienddisiedpursuitofwhat-is-right.

  WhoshallIleaveitto?theDeadFatherasked.Whoisworthy?

  Ishouldsay,noone.Perhapsthenation.Thefirststepistheiory.yougivemesomeideaofwhattheestatesistsof?

  Vast,saidtheDeadFather.Ihavenoidea.sultmysteward.

  Yourstewardhasbeego,saidThomas.

  Luke?Lukegone?Onwhoseauthority?

  Itwasthoughtbest,Thomassaid.

  Thenwhoislookingafterthings?

  IbelievehisnameisWilfred,Thomassaid.

  ButWilfredisnotLuke,theDeadFathersaid.

  Bestweanage,saidThomas.Youhaveallastothesizeofyourholdings?

  OhIhavesomeidea,saidtheDeadFather.Heproducedasmallblackpootebook.

  Youretakingthisdown?

  Thomasnodded.

  TheDeadFatherclearedhisthroat.

  VariouslandsinSaxony,hereadaloud.

  Thatsrathervague,Thomassaid.

  Um,saidtheDeadFatheruurbed,soitis.Letmetinue.Certificatesofdeposittotaling--

  Totalingwhat?askedThomas.

  Theyareallseparateanddistinctfigureswithnototallisted,saidtheDeadFather.Thesumwouldappeartobequitelarge,couldoneaddit.

  Heturnedapage.

  Anut-brownmaid,heread.Regina.Thestereo.Apairofchatterpies.Myravens.Aparcelofrentalproperties.Elevenrogueelephants.Onealbino.Mycellar.Twelvethousandbottlesmoreorless.Lithographstobeswallowedforsiess.Twohundredexamples.Myprintcolle,housanditems.Mysword.

  Yourswohomasnoted.

  Myswone,saidtheDeadFather,butIhaveasparesword,bathecity.Mysed-bestsword.Jeweledhiltandallthat.

  AfieldofflowersoutsideDarmstadt.Wrinkleflowers.Mygreenhousesandpottingsheds.Wilfredwillknow.PortraitbustsofmyselfbyHoudon,Minque,PlandBowdoin.Mynapkinrings.Fourthousandvolumesofcabalisticliterature.Cycladicfigurestothenumberofonehundredeighteen.Mygouges:Thestraightgouge,shortbentgouge,logouge,Vgouge,Ugouge,5/32"gouge,3/8"gouge.Fourskewchisels.Myboxattheopera.MyBeenrecords.MyThorogchair.Theregiment.

  Towhomwillyouleavetheregiment?

  Doyouwantit?

  WhatwouldIdowiththeregiment?Thomasasked.

  Paradeit.Haveregimentaldinners.Foldandunfoldthecolors.Defendfrontiers.PushintothePunjab.

  Letustablethequestion,forthetimebeing,saidThomas.Istheremore?

  Much,much,more,saidtheDeadFather,butletuslumpittogetherunder"ials."DoyouwantRegina?

  Neverhavihelady,Thomassaid,Iwouldsaynot.AlsoIamawitnessandawitnessotbeabeneficiary.Idonotwishtoprofitfromthistransainanyway.Ionlywishtohaveeverythingtidy.

  Tidy,saidtheDeadFather,whatauttingit.

  JuliewillbeawitnessandEmmawillbeawitnessahemenis,Ihavelearned,anotary.

  Ishallplacetheregimentintrustforitself,saidtheDeadFather.Thatshouldtakecareofit.Haveyoutheform?

  Yes,Thomassaid.ShallIreadit?

  Readit.

  "ThisTrustiscreatedupontheexpressuandingthattheissuer,custodian,ortransferagentofanysharesheldhereundershallbeundernoliabilitywhatsoevertoseetoitsproperadministration..."

  Thatsthewayitbegins?

  No,itbeginswitha"Whereas."Imreadingyouthepartthatdoesntsht.

  Readon.

  "...andthatuporaheright,title,iinandtosuchsharesbyanytrusteehereunder,saidissuer,custodian,ortransferagentshallclusivelytreatthetransfereeasthesoleownerofsuchshares.Ithatanyshares,cashorotherproperty--"

  Theregiment,forexample,saidtheDeadFather.

  "...shallbedistributableatanytimeuhetermsofsaidshares,thesaidissuer,custodian,ortransferagentisfullyauthorizedtopay,deliver,anddistributethesametowhosoevershalltherusteehereunder,andshallbeundernoliabilitytoseetotheproperapplicationthereof."

  Hepaused.

  Gooddealofhandwashingthere,saidtheDeadFather.aragraphisthat?

  Paragraph4,saidThomas,perhapsyouwilllikeParagraph5better."Iherebyreserveuntomyselfthepowerandright--"

  Yes,saidtheDeadFather,Ilikethatbetter.

  "Duringmylifetime--"

  No,saidtheDeadFather,Idontlikeitbetter.

  Lifetimesaimes,saidThomas,arewhatwillsareabout.

  Yes,saidtheDeadFather,thatswhatIdontlike,beingreminded.

  Youbotherwiththedetails,Thomassaid,youarefullyprotected,Iassureyou.Thethingtodoissignit.

  Imtooyoung.Andwhowillbeneficiate?

  Iotawhit,saidThomas,pieone.Orsomething.

  Edmund,saidtheDeadFather.

  Edmund?

  Heisthelast,saidtheDeadFather,ashallbefirst.

  Edmund?

  Ihavemadeupmymind,saidtheDeadFather.

  Asyouwish,saidThomas,weshallhavetotellhimaboutitveryslowly,otherwiseitwillkillhim.

  Parcelthenewsoutbitbybit,saidtheDeadFather.Beginwiththenapkinrings.

  Thomasassemblinessesfortheceremony.

  Thenotarysaid:DoyouidentifythisdotasyourLastWillaament,doyouwishittobesarded,andhaveyousigofyourownfreewill?

  Yes,saidtheDeadFather.Sortof.

  Whatwasthat?askedthenotary.

  Moreorlessyes,saidtheDeadFather.

  Wellwasityesorwasitnotyes?

  Itwasyes,Iguess.

  ThenotarylookedatThomas.

  Iheard"yes,"saidThomas.

  Thenotarysaid:AndhaveyourequestedthatthesepersonswitnessynatureandmakeanaffidavitingyourexecutionofthisWill?

  Ihave,saidtheDeadFather.

  Thewitnesseswillpleaseraisetheirrighthands.DoeachofyouindividuallydeclareuhthattheDeadFatherhasidentifiedthisdotashisLastWillaamentandstatedthathewishedittobesarded?

  Hehas,saidThomas,Julie,andEmma.

  Hashesiginyourpresenddidheatthattimeappeartobeofsoundmindandlegalageandfreeofundueinfluence?

  Washeeverofsoundmind?Juliewonderedaloud.AsyouandIwoulddefi?Strictlyspeaking?

  Amindofhisown,Thomassaid,thatmuchisclear.

  Ialwayslikedhim,saidEmma.

  Willthewitnessesrespondtothequestion?

  Yes,saidthewitnesses,hehasanddid.

  Haveyouinhispresendinthepresenceofeachother,affixedynatures?

  Wehave.

  Thethingisdone,saidthenotary,whereisthebrandy?

  Thomaspouredbrandyforallhands.

  Thisshouldmakeyoufeelgood,thenotarysaidtotheDeadFather.Aprudentstep.Prudent,prudent.

  RageoftheDeadFather.

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