A Very, Very Great Lady and Her Son at Home
"WhenIwasadolest,mymhtmeacharm,gavemeatalisman,hahekeyoftheworld.ForIlivedinterror,I,soyoung,soshyofsomanypeople--i.e.thosewhospokewithsoftvoidsouhehinwhich;emausheretteswho,inthosedaysworewidesatinpyjamaswhichmockedmyunawakehunashamedlasciviousness;suavemenwhoputcoldhandsonmydefenceless,barelyformedbreastsoopsoflonelyNovemberbuses.Somany,manypeople.
"Mymothersaid:Child,ifsuchfolksaweyou,thenpicturethemonthelavatory,straining,stipated.Theywillatonceseemsmall,pathetiageable.Andshewhisperedtomeagreat,universaltruth:thebowelsaregreatlevellers.
"Shewasaroughwoman,mymother.Shepickedherteethceaselesslywithaforkandshewouldtakeoffherfeltslippers,intheevenings,andprobeoutthecaked,flakedskinanddirtfrombetweeoeswithasensual,inquisitivefinger.Butsheossessedofgreatwisdom--thebrutal,yetwithalvital,wisdomofapeasant."
Thewomansvoice,highandclearasthesoundofaglassrappedoontosummonawaiter,ceasediationforamoment.Onlytwoendlesslylongmiraculouslyslenderlegsemergedfromthepoolofcoagulatedshadowintheerwhereshesat.
Petalsdroppedfromaredroseinasilverbowlontothelow,round,blood-colouredmahoganytablewithasoft,faint,exhaustedsound,asofapigeonsfart.Thewomanrecrossedherlegs;raspingplanesofsilkflashedoutastheycaughtthelight,likethebladesofscissors,sligallthatcamebetweenthem.Sheresumedhernarrative.
"Ihadbeenashychild.Alonelychild,lostinthemiddleofalargefamily--twenty-threechildren,ofwhomeighteenreachedmaturity!--coopedupinameagredwelling,theloftabovemyfathersstable.Ah!"shecried,"howoftenIlayawakeatnightfortedbythegentlewhickeringofgreat,greyDapple,withtheruffsoverhishooves,likeapierrot!"
Againshepausedforamomentsrecolle;thenresumedhernarrative.
"Bytragicparadox,socrowdedwasourhome,sotinualtheto-ingandfro-ing,thatmyisolationwastotal.Iwasalone,soaloentative,uograspthefayselfasay,apersonality.
"Iwasintrovertedtothepoiin,andinthatgreat,surgingmeleeofhumanity--myfamily--onlybehaviourextrovertedtothepointofsheerexhibitioentiontooneself.
"Irememberhowoneofmybrothers--orperhapsitwasasister:onefets,onefets--plungedhislittlebarefeetinthesuppertimesouponenight,ttomyparentsattentionhowgreathisneedwasfornewboots.Orshoes.Orsandals.Orsocks..."
Thevoicediedawayandthenwelledoutagaininpassionateregret:"Thesignifitdetail--onefetsit!Onefetsit!"Butsoonsheresumedhernarrative.
"Poorlittlefellow,he--orwasitshe--wasscaldedalmosttothekhesuppertimesoup,thecabbageleavesbobbinginit--Iremember,though,thesuppertimesoup.Andthefacesrouable,somany,manyfaces.Andsuchmeagresoupthatmanyatime,mysmallstomaorousasapairofmaracas,IwouldcreepdowninthesilehenighttoscoopupalittleofDapplessteamingmashonmyfingers,formyself.
"Ihoughonewouldscarcelycreditit,formanyyearsmymother,inerror,calledmebythenameofaneldersisterwhohaddiedininfancy.Myfather,oherhand,agrey,precisemanwhosmelledofhorsedungaalistofallourogetherwithbriefdescriptivenotes)sewntotheinsideofhisblackgreasyhat,scrupulouslyreferredtomebymybaptismalnamewheneverhee,removinghishatandrunningagnarledfingerdownthensuntilhecametothethumbnailsketchwhichtalliedwiththewide-eyed,pigtailedchildbeforehim.ThoseweretheonlyoccasionsonwhichIrecallhimtakingoffhishat.
"Jason,cigarettes."
Theboy,cross-leggedatherfeet,leaptintodarkness;camethesoundofanunsnappedcase,aclickedlighter.Theredtipofthecigaretteglowedintheshadowslikeawarningtraffic-light--STOP--aalsonanotherfull-blowrembledbutdidnotfall.
"Fortomyself,Ibecamebookish,walkingfivemilestothefreelibraryinmycrackedclogs.Iread,Iread,Iread.Anything,everything...Myfather,dippingthequillinthepennybottleofink,laboriouslyaddedsteel-rimmedspectaclestothenotebesidemynameinhisdirectory.Charityspectacles.Iwassoashamed.
"ButIlessaddict;sopreciouswerethosebookstomethatIcarriedthemarouomyheart,beheraggedlibertyvestfromtheparishpoor-boxbutabovethelayerofneerthat,forwarmth,mymothersewedaroundus,renewingiteachautumn.
"Mymihedarknesslikeaflower.Butmyisolationincreased.Icouldnotunicatemylove,mywonder,myveritablelustforthingsofthespirit,theintellect,withmyparents--nor,indeed,withmyteachers,forthemIhated.Theyboundmyfairon:firstmyeyes,theh.
"Teethinbrace,myfatheramehegutteringlightofthefarthingdle.Orwasitapennydle?Orahalfpennyrushdip?Onefets--onefets."
Againthebriefcry;thensheresumedhernarrative.
"Lifewenton.Theyearspassed.Thebrightpeohemenstrualflowblossomed.Mybreastsgrewlikeyoungdoves.Ihadafeverandtheycroppedmyhair.Tomywonderanddelightitgrewagaininlittlesoftcurls.
"IstaredatmyrefleinDapplestrough.Itookoffmyspectaclesandpulledthebraouth.IdimlysawthiswhitefadthisgoldentopknotandIwasafraid,forthechildIhadbeenwasdead;deadandreplacedbyabeautifulwomanwhomIdidnotknow.
"Jason,thedles."
He--theboy;slight,fair,delicate--struckmatches,andthebrancheddlestickssprangtolife.
Herfaceaintedmaskofbeauty.Eyesbluerthantheirblue-stainedlids,precisediscsofscarletonherwhitecheeks,lambenthairpiledabovethewinkinglightsofhertiara.Andthediamondsburhnomoredangerousfirethandidherwhitebreasts,exposedtothenipplesbytheblackchiffofellawayfrhs.
ShewasasbeautifulasVenusrisingfromthewavesinthecelebratedpicturebyBotticelli,onlymoreso.ShewasasbeautifulasthecelebratedbustofiintheLouvre,onlymoreso.ShewasasbeautifulasthestatueoftheyoungDavidbythecelebratedMichelahatgazesohroraffiilanwithsuchserenity,onlymoreso.
Slowlyshegroundouthercigaretteinthewoundedonyxofanashtrayonthearmofherchair.Sheresumedhernarrative.
"Atfifteewalkinginthepark.Iglowedwithbeautyoingpond,inaoe,athalfaanhour.IdisputedaboutPlato,whosebooksIreaddeeply,withasmallbrownmaninaloincloth,andallthetimeIgazedonmyrefleintheripplingwater.
"WhenItratedonmyrefle,Iwasthatlovelybeing.Jesuisunautre.Dizzied,drunkonthemiracleofarrivingatapersonalitywiththesuddennessofepiphany,Iturnedfromthepooltomakesomebrilliantpointtomypanion--andmynewselffellawaylikeacloak.Iwept,stammered:tenyearsoldagain.
"Iran,stumbling,backtothefamiliarwarmthofthestable,toweepsaltilyintoDappleswarmmane.Andtheremymother,ingfromthestreetswithherhandsfullofpotatopeelingsthatshegleanedfromtheashshbours(whennoonewaslooking;shehadafiercepride),toenrichDapplesmash...mymother,returning,sawme.
"Susan,shesaid,hushyourmoitherings.Andthenshepaused,bewildered,laidherburdenonanearbyteachestandcameclosetome,soclosethatIcouldtthegreyhairsgrowingfromhernostrils.Herrheumyeyesfilled,overflowed.
"ButyoubenotmySusan!shecried.MySusandidntlivetobeasoldasyou!Andsheburiedherheadinherapronandhershouldersheavedwithsobbing.But,selfishly,IdriedmyowntearsonDapplestail,formymotherhadatlastreisedmytrueidentityandIperceivedaglimmerofhope.
"Jason,myknee."
Hekondbegantomassageherkhebonesclickedunderhislongfingers.Adleflameflickered,castingamomentaryshadowoverthelowerpartofherfaceresemblingasmallblackmoustadimperial.
"Mother,Isaid,Iamsoshy.ItwasthefirstremarkIrememberaddressingtoherinmywholelife.Mother,Irepeated;thewordtastedwholesomeasbreadandmilkinmymouth.
"Shegazedatmethoughtfully,rollingaerofherapronintoaprobeandingwaxfromherearwithit.Thenshegavemetheformula,irradiatingmylife.
"Ifyoupicturethemallonthelavatory,stipated,straining,thenallthetoffee-nosedbastardswillseemdefencelessandpathetic,shesaid.
"THEBOWELSAREGREATLEVELLERS.
"Itwasarevelation.Irushedoutintotheworld,oreturingthosewords,livingbythem.
"Jason,theworldwasmyoyster!"
Hervlikeasudden,brass-throatedtrumpet.Thefull-blowlastalloweditselftocollapse,almostwiththequalityofmuffledapplause.Thewomaywassoihatitseemedtohavethequalityofadeformity,sofarwasitfromthehumannorm.Thebonesinherkneesjostledoherwithafaintmumbling.
Asifrecollegvague,soft,fragrant,long-agothings,shemurmured(moretoherselfthantotheboy):"Ah,Jason,thechildishthighsandbabybuttocksofgreatmen.Youstopmassaging."
Hedrewaway.Shelitanaretteatthedleflame.Blinking,hedrewahandthroughhishair.Thedlelightshonealongthebrahisteeth,madeblindingpoolsieel-rimmedspectaclesoverhiseyes.Hebacked,bumpingagainstthemahoganytablewherethepetalspooledredly.
"Jason,"sheaskedsharply,"whyareyoustaringatme?Jason?"
Hecoughed.Hefidgeted,thetoesofhisbarefeetcurlinganduncurlingihickcarpet.
"Jason?"mently.
"Anddoyoulookpathetithelavatory,mother?"
Thecigarettefellfromnervelessfingers;sheopenedandclosedhermouthbutnotasoundcameout.Shecrashedforwardontothecarpetandlaythere,atreefelled,motionless.
Theboywenttothedoorandvanished,laughing,intothenight.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
"Mymothersaid:Child,ifsuchfolksaweyou,thenpicturethemonthelavatory,straining,stipated.Theywillatonceseemsmall,pathetiageable.Andshewhisperedtomeagreat,universaltruth:thebowelsaregreatlevellers.
"Shewasaroughwoman,mymother.Shepickedherteethceaselesslywithaforkandshewouldtakeoffherfeltslippers,intheevenings,andprobeoutthecaked,flakedskinanddirtfrombetweeoeswithasensual,inquisitivefinger.Butsheossessedofgreatwisdom--thebrutal,yetwithalvital,wisdomofapeasant."
Thewomansvoice,highandclearasthesoundofaglassrappedoontosummonawaiter,ceasediationforamoment.Onlytwoendlesslylongmiraculouslyslenderlegsemergedfromthepoolofcoagulatedshadowintheerwhereshesat.
Petalsdroppedfromaredroseinasilverbowlontothelow,round,blood-colouredmahoganytablewithasoft,faint,exhaustedsound,asofapigeonsfart.Thewomanrecrossedherlegs;raspingplanesofsilkflashedoutastheycaughtthelight,likethebladesofscissors,sligallthatcamebetweenthem.Sheresumedhernarrative.
"Ihadbeenashychild.Alonelychild,lostinthemiddleofalargefamily--twenty-threechildren,ofwhomeighteenreachedmaturity!--coopedupinameagredwelling,theloftabovemyfathersstable.Ah!"shecried,"howoftenIlayawakeatnightfortedbythegentlewhickeringofgreat,greyDapple,withtheruffsoverhishooves,likeapierrot!"
Againshepausedforamomentsrecolle;thenresumedhernarrative.
"Bytragicparadox,socrowdedwasourhome,sotinualtheto-ingandfro-ing,thatmyisolationwastotal.Iwasalone,soaloentative,uograspthefayselfasay,apersonality.
"Iwasintrovertedtothepoiin,andinthatgreat,surgingmeleeofhumanity--myfamily--onlybehaviourextrovertedtothepointofsheerexhibitioentiontooneself.
"Irememberhowoneofmybrothers--orperhapsitwasasister:onefets,onefets--plungedhislittlebarefeetinthesuppertimesouponenight,ttomyparentsattentionhowgreathisneedwasfornewboots.Orshoes.Orsandals.Orsocks..."
Thevoicediedawayandthenwelledoutagaininpassionateregret:"Thesignifitdetail--onefetsit!Onefetsit!"Butsoonsheresumedhernarrative.
"Poorlittlefellow,he--orwasitshe--wasscaldedalmosttothekhesuppertimesoup,thecabbageleavesbobbinginit--Iremember,though,thesuppertimesoup.Andthefacesrouable,somany,manyfaces.Andsuchmeagresoupthatmanyatime,mysmallstomaorousasapairofmaracas,IwouldcreepdowninthesilehenighttoscoopupalittleofDapplessteamingmashonmyfingers,formyself.
"Ihoughonewouldscarcelycreditit,formanyyearsmymother,inerror,calledmebythenameofaneldersisterwhohaddiedininfancy.Myfather,oherhand,agrey,precisemanwhosmelledofhorsedungaalistofallourogetherwithbriefdescriptivenotes)sewntotheinsideofhisblackgreasyhat,scrupulouslyreferredtomebymybaptismalnamewheneverhee,removinghishatandrunningagnarledfingerdownthensuntilhecametothethumbnailsketchwhichtalliedwiththewide-eyed,pigtailedchildbeforehim.ThoseweretheonlyoccasionsonwhichIrecallhimtakingoffhishat.
"Jason,cigarettes."
Theboy,cross-leggedatherfeet,leaptintodarkness;camethesoundofanunsnappedcase,aclickedlighter.Theredtipofthecigaretteglowedintheshadowslikeawarningtraffic-light--STOP--aalsonanotherfull-blowrembledbutdidnotfall.
"Fortomyself,Ibecamebookish,walkingfivemilestothefreelibraryinmycrackedclogs.Iread,Iread,Iread.Anything,everything...Myfather,dippingthequillinthepennybottleofink,laboriouslyaddedsteel-rimmedspectaclestothenotebesidemynameinhisdirectory.Charityspectacles.Iwassoashamed.
"ButIlessaddict;sopreciouswerethosebookstomethatIcarriedthemarouomyheart,beheraggedlibertyvestfromtheparishpoor-boxbutabovethelayerofneerthat,forwarmth,mymothersewedaroundus,renewingiteachautumn.
"Mymihedarknesslikeaflower.Butmyisolationincreased.Icouldnotunicatemylove,mywonder,myveritablelustforthingsofthespirit,theintellect,withmyparents--nor,indeed,withmyteachers,forthemIhated.Theyboundmyfairon:firstmyeyes,theh.
"Teethinbrace,myfatheramehegutteringlightofthefarthingdle.Orwasitapennydle?Orahalfpennyrushdip?Onefets--onefets."
Againthebriefcry;thensheresumedhernarrative.
"Lifewenton.Theyearspassed.Thebrightpeohemenstrualflowblossomed.Mybreastsgrewlikeyoungdoves.Ihadafeverandtheycroppedmyhair.Tomywonderanddelightitgrewagaininlittlesoftcurls.
"IstaredatmyrefleinDapplestrough.Itookoffmyspectaclesandpulledthebraouth.IdimlysawthiswhitefadthisgoldentopknotandIwasafraid,forthechildIhadbeenwasdead;deadandreplacedbyabeautifulwomanwhomIdidnotknow.
"Jason,thedles."
He--theboy;slight,fair,delicate--struckmatches,andthebrancheddlestickssprangtolife.
Herfaceaintedmaskofbeauty.Eyesbluerthantheirblue-stainedlids,precisediscsofscarletonherwhitecheeks,lambenthairpiledabovethewinkinglightsofhertiara.Andthediamondsburhnomoredangerousfirethandidherwhitebreasts,exposedtothenipplesbytheblackchiffofellawayfrhs.
ShewasasbeautifulasVenusrisingfromthewavesinthecelebratedpicturebyBotticelli,onlymoreso.ShewasasbeautifulasthecelebratedbustofiintheLouvre,onlymoreso.ShewasasbeautifulasthestatueoftheyoungDavidbythecelebratedMichelahatgazesohroraffiilanwithsuchserenity,onlymoreso.
Slowlyshegroundouthercigaretteinthewoundedonyxofanashtrayonthearmofherchair.Sheresumedhernarrative.
"Atfifteewalkinginthepark.Iglowedwithbeautyoingpond,inaoe,athalfaanhour.IdisputedaboutPlato,whosebooksIreaddeeply,withasmallbrownmaninaloincloth,andallthetimeIgazedonmyrefleintheripplingwater.
"WhenItratedonmyrefle,Iwasthatlovelybeing.Jesuisunautre.Dizzied,drunkonthemiracleofarrivingatapersonalitywiththesuddennessofepiphany,Iturnedfromthepooltomakesomebrilliantpointtomypanion--andmynewselffellawaylikeacloak.Iwept,stammered:tenyearsoldagain.
"Iran,stumbling,backtothefamiliarwarmthofthestable,toweepsaltilyintoDappleswarmmane.Andtheremymother,ingfromthestreetswithherhandsfullofpotatopeelingsthatshegleanedfromtheashshbours(whennoonewaslooking;shehadafiercepride),toenrichDapplesmash...mymother,returning,sawme.
"Susan,shesaid,hushyourmoitherings.Andthenshepaused,bewildered,laidherburdenonanearbyteachestandcameclosetome,soclosethatIcouldtthegreyhairsgrowingfromhernostrils.Herrheumyeyesfilled,overflowed.
"ButyoubenotmySusan!shecried.MySusandidntlivetobeasoldasyou!Andsheburiedherheadinherapronandhershouldersheavedwithsobbing.But,selfishly,IdriedmyowntearsonDapplestail,formymotherhadatlastreisedmytrueidentityandIperceivedaglimmerofhope.
"Jason,myknee."
Hekondbegantomassageherkhebonesclickedunderhislongfingers.Adleflameflickered,castingamomentaryshadowoverthelowerpartofherfaceresemblingasmallblackmoustadimperial.
"Mother,Isaid,Iamsoshy.ItwasthefirstremarkIrememberaddressingtoherinmywholelife.Mother,Irepeated;thewordtastedwholesomeasbreadandmilkinmymouth.
"Shegazedatmethoughtfully,rollingaerofherapronintoaprobeandingwaxfromherearwithit.Thenshegavemetheformula,irradiatingmylife.
"Ifyoupicturethemallonthelavatory,stipated,straining,thenallthetoffee-nosedbastardswillseemdefencelessandpathetic,shesaid.
"THEBOWELSAREGREATLEVELLERS.
"Itwasarevelation.Irushedoutintotheworld,oreturingthosewords,livingbythem.
"Jason,theworldwasmyoyster!"
Hervlikeasudden,brass-throatedtrumpet.Thefull-blowlastalloweditselftocollapse,almostwiththequalityofmuffledapplause.Thewomaywassoihatitseemedtohavethequalityofadeformity,sofarwasitfromthehumannorm.Thebonesinherkneesjostledoherwithafaintmumbling.
Asifrecollegvague,soft,fragrant,long-agothings,shemurmured(moretoherselfthantotheboy):"Ah,Jason,thechildishthighsandbabybuttocksofgreatmen.Youstopmassaging."
Hedrewaway.Shelitanaretteatthedleflame.Blinking,hedrewahandthroughhishair.Thedlelightshonealongthebrahisteeth,madeblindingpoolsieel-rimmedspectaclesoverhiseyes.Hebacked,bumpingagainstthemahoganytablewherethepetalspooledredly.
"Jason,"sheaskedsharply,"whyareyoustaringatme?Jason?"
Hecoughed.Hefidgeted,thetoesofhisbarefeetcurlinganduncurlingihickcarpet.
"Jason?"mently.
"Anddoyoulookpathetithelavatory,mother?"
Thecigarettefellfromnervelessfingers;sheopenedandclosedhermouthbutnotasoundcameout.Shecrashedforwardontothecarpetandlaythere,atreefelled,motionless.
Theboywenttothedoorandvanished,laughing,intothenight.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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并不代表本站立场!本站亦无法严格审:Burning Your Boats最新章节其版权归属。如您对Burning Your BoatsTXT下载持有版权方面的异议，请联系本站客服。我们将于72小时内处理。
Copyright (C) 2019 All Rights Reserved 版权所有：松语文学