The Snow Pavilion-2

  Agolowedilittlerangewherenightclotheswerewarmingonthebrassfender.Ifeltasudden,sharppangofdisappoiofirailleadmetothenursery;Ihadbeendupedofallthefleshlyadvehehousehadpromisedmeandthat,damnthem,mustbepartofthejoke,too.Allthesame,ifIindulgedthefancyofthechildIdseeninthemirror,perhapsImightehefancyofhermother,whomustbestillyoungenoughtoenjoythecaressofabearskiead;andnot,Idbebound,inimicaltopoetry,either.

  Thismother,whohadheowhiteness,whitewalls,whitepaintedfurniture,whiterug,whitecurtains,allchicashell.Eventhechildhadbeenmadeaslavetofashiohoughtheselfhadsuccumbedtotheinteriordesignerssnowdriftthathadengulfedtheentirehouse,itsinhabitantshadnot.Idneverseensomanydollsbefore,noteveninMelissaset,andallquiteexquisite,asiftheydjustefromtheshop,althoughsomeofthemmustbeolderthanIwas.HowMelissawouldhavelovedthem!

  Dollssatonshelveswiththeirlegsstuckoutbeforethem,dollsspilledfromtoychests.FineladiesintaffetabustlesandFrenchhats,babiesineverygradationofess.Alimp-limbed,golden-hairedcreatureinpinksatinsprawledasifinsensualabandonontheruginfrontofthefire.AwonderfullyelaborateladyinakitschVictorianpelisseofmaroonsilk,withbrownhairunderafeatherstrawbo,layinanarmchairbythefireroprietorialanairasiftheroombelooher.Adeliciouslassinapurplevelvetridinghabitoccupiedthesaddleofthewonderfulalbinoroghorse.

  NowatlastIwassurroundedbybeautifulwomenandtheyweredumbrepositoriesofallthelivelycoloursthathadbeenexiledfromtheplace,vividasahot-house,buthemexisted,allweremute,werefisandthatmultitudeofglasseyes,liketearsgealedintime,mademefeelverylonely.

  Outside,thesnowflurriedagainstthewindows;thestormhadbeguninear.Iherewasstillohresholdlefttocross.Iguessedshewouldbethere,waitingforme,whoevershewas,althoughIhesitated,ifonlymomentarily,beforethedoorthatleadtothenightnursery,asifunseengryphonsmightguardit.

  Faintglowofanightlightoelpiece;adimtranquillity,here,wheretheairisfullofthealesmellsofchildhood,ofhair,ofsoap,oftalcumpowder,theinsesofhersanctuary.Andthemomeeredthenightnursery,Icouldhearhertransparehing;shehadhardlyhiddenherselfatall,notevenpulledthecoversofherwhite-enamelledcribaroundher.Ihadtakenthegameseriouslybutshe,itsinstigator,hadnot;shehadfallenfastasleepinthemiddleofit,hereyelidsbuttoneddown,herlong,blorihairstreamihepillow.

  Sheworeawhite,fragile,lacesmodherlong,whitestogswerefihesmokybreathofawintersm.Shehadkickedoffherwhitekidsandals.Thislittlehuhislittlequarry,laycurledupwithherthumbwedged,baby-like,inhermouth.

  Thewindyowledintheeyandsedthewindow.ThecurtainsweredrawnsoIclosedthemforherandatoheroomdeempest,soIcouldhavethoughtIhadbeensnugallmylife.Wearinesse;Isankdowninthebasketworkchairbyherbed.IwasloathtoleavethepanyoftheonlylivingthingIdfoundinthemansionandevenifNannybrusquelystormedintointerrogateme,Ireassuredmyselfthatshemustknowhowfotlechargewasofhide-and-seekindeed,musthavebeeninplicitywiththegame,toletmewanderaboutthenurserysuiteinthisunventionalfashion.AndifMummycamein,now,foodnightkisses?Wellsomuchthebetter;Ishouldbediscovereddemonstratiendernessofapoetatthecradleofachild.

  Ifnobodycame?Iwouldeheanti-climax;Idjusttaketheweightoffmyfeetforawhile,andthenslipout.YetImustadmitIfeltatouchofdisappoiastimepassedandIwasforcedrelutlytoabandonallhopeofaninvitationtodiheydfottenallaboutme!Carelessevenoftheirowheyhadleftoffplayinginthemiddleofthechase,justasthechildhaddone,airedintotheimmutableprivacyoftherich.IpromisedmyselfthatatleastIdhelpmyselftohalfatumblerofgoodwhiskyonmywayout,toseemewarmlybacktothelahestarktrudgehome.

  Thechildstirredinhersleepandmutteredindecipherably.Herfistschedandunched.Hercheeksweredelicatelyflushedapale,luminouspink.Suchskin--thefiureofchildhood,theinparabledownofskinthathasnevergointhecold.ThemoreIwatchedbesideher,thefrailershelooked,themoretransparent.Ihadnever,inmylifebefore,watchedbesideasleepingchild.Themilkysmellofinnodsesuffusedthenightnursery.

  Ihadanticipated,Isuppose,somesratifiedlustfromthisgameofhide-ahroughthemansionifnotthesatisfaoflustoftheflesh,thenthatoflustofthespirit,ofvanity;butthemoreImimickedtenderowardsthesleeper,themoretenderIbecame.Oh,myshabby-sordidlife!Ithought.Howshe,iouchablesleep,judgesme.

  Yetshewasnotapeacefulsleeper.Shetwitchedlikeadogdreamingofrabbitsandsometimesshemoaned.Shesnuffledstantlyandthen,quiteloudly,coughed.Thecoughrumbledinhernarrowchestforalongtimeanditstruckmethatthechild,sopaleandsleepingwithsuchrackedexhaustion,wasasickchild.Asick,spoiledlittlegirlwhoruledthehouseholdwithawhim,a,poorlittletyrauheymusthavebeengladshehaddroppedofftosleep,sotheycouldabandonthegameshehadforcedthemtoplay.Shehadfairy-tale,flaxenhairandeyelidssodelicatetheeyesbehemalmostshowedglowingthrough;andif,ihadbeenshewhosecretedallthegrumblinggrown-upsintheirwardrobesandbathroomsandwouhroughthehouseonaninvisiblespooltowardsher,well,Icouldscarcelybegrudgeherherfun.Andhergamehadbeenasmuchwiththosegrown-upsasithadbeenwithme;hadidiedthemallawayasiftheydbeendollsshedstowedinthehugetoychestofthisexquisitehouse?

  WhenIthoughtofthat,Iwentsofarinfivenessastostrokehereggshellcheekwithmyfinger.Herskinwassoftasplumageofsnowaiveasthatoftheprincessioryoftheprincessandthepea;whenItouchedher,shestirred.Sheshruggedawayfrommytouch,muttering,androlledoveruneasily.Asshedidso,agleamingbuheredfrombetweenhercoversontothefloor,bangingitsaheadonthescrubbedlinoleum.

  ShemusthavetiptoeddowntocollectherfottendollwhileIwentprowlingaboutthebedrooms.Herehewasagain,herPierrotinhisshiningwhitepyjamas,herlittlefriend.Perhapsheronlyfriend.Ibenttopickhimupfromthefloorforherand,asIdidso,somethingcaughtthelightandglitteredattheerofhishuge,tragic,glasseye.Asequin?Abrilliant?Themoonisyourtry,oldchap;perhapstheyveputstarsinyoureyesforyou.

  Ilookedmoreclosely.

  Itwaswet.

  Itwasatear.

  Theasuctblowonthebayneck,sosudden,sopowerful,souedthatIfeltonlyavagueastonishmentasIpitchedforwardonmyfatoablaishment.

  WhenIopenedmyeyes,Isawatroubledabsenceoflightaroundme;whenItriedtomove,adozenlittledaggersserratedme.ItwasterriblycoldandIwaslyingon,yes,marble,asifIwasalreadydead,andIwastrappeditlehillofbrokenglassiheaelissashusbandssheepskincoatthatwassoddenwithmeltingsnow.

  Afterafew,careful,agonisingtwitches,Ithoughtitbesttostayquitestillinthisdank,lightlesshallwherethesnowdroveinthroughanopendoorwhoseoutlineIcoulddimlyseeagainstthewhitenightoutside.Slowasadream,thedoorshiftedbadforthonrustyhiharaueical,monotonouscaw,likethatofcrows.

  Itriedtopiecetogetherwhathadhappeome.IguessedIlayonthefloorofthehallofthehouseIcouldhaveswornIdjustexplored,thoughIcouldseeverylittleofitsinteriorintheghostlylight--butallmustoncehavebeenpaintedwhite,thoughnowsadlyandobselyscribbledoverbyrudevillageboyswithpaintandchalks.Thedespoiledpallorreflecteditselfinacrackedmirrorofimmensesizeonthewall.

  PerhapsIhadbeentrappedbythefallofadelier.Certainly,Ihadbeencaughtinthehalf-shatteredglassvisceraofthedelierthatIthoughtIdjustseenmultiplyingitsreflesinanotherhallthantheoneinwhichIlayandeveryboneinmybodyachedandthrobbed.Iftimehadloosehedelierfromitsmsintheflakingplasteraboveme,thedeliermightverywellhaveetumblingdownonmeasIshelteredfromthestormthathowledandgibberedaroundthehousebutthenitmighthavekilledmeandIknewbymythrobbingbruisesthatIwasstillalive.ButhadInotjustwalkedthroughthisveryhallwhenitwaserfumedandsuavewithmoney?OrhadInot.

  ThenIiercedbyabeamoflightthatstruckcoldgreenfirefromtheprismsarouheinvisiblebehindtheflashlightaddressedmeunceremoniouslyinacracked,oldwomansvoice,aesvoice.Whobeyou?Whatbeyouupto?

  Trappedinthesplinteredglass,thesplinteredlight,ItoldherhowmycarhadbrokendowninthesnowandIhadehereforassistahisalibinowseemedtomeaveryfeebleone.

  Icouldheoldwomanatall,couldnotevehervagueshapebehindthelight,butItoldherIwasstayingwiththeLadyMelissa,toimpressheroldtryessnobbery.SheexclaimedandmutteredwhensheheardMelissasname;whenshespokeagain,hermannerwasalmostexcessivelyciliatory.Shehastobecareful,pooroldwoman,allalohehouse;thieveseforleadfromtheroofandyoungcouplesuptonogoodeandsoonandon.But,ifIamtheLadyMelissasguest,thensheissureitisperfectlyallrightformetoshelterhere.No,thereisnotelephone.Imustwaitheretillthestormdiesdown.Theneillhaveblockedthelanebynow--wearequitecutoff!shesays;andtitters.

  Imustfollowhercarefully,walkthisway;shegivesmeahandoutofthemess,somuchbrokenglass...takecare.Whatacrash,whenthedeliercamedown!Youdhavethoughttheworldhadetoanend.ewithher,shehasherrooms;sheisquitecosy,sir,witharfire.(Whatweather,eh?)

  Shelitmesolicitouslyoutoftheglasstrapandtookmepastourphantomsmovinglikedeepseafishinthechokeddepthsofthemirror;upthestairswewent,throughtheruinsofthehouseIthoughtIhadexploredinmywakingfaintorsystemoflinkedhalluations,snowinduced,or,perhaps,inducedbyamildcussion.ForIamshakyandalittlenauseous;Igraspthebaootight.

  Thedoorsshudderontheirhinges.Iglimpseroomswiththefurniturespookilyshroudedinwhitesheetsbutthebeamofhertorchdoesnotlingeronanything;hercarpetslippersgoflipperty-flopperty,flipperty-flopperty,sheisanintrepidiatoroftheshadows.AndstillIotseeherclearly,althoughIheartherustleofherdressandsmellhermusty,frowsty,sed-handclothesstore,typicalell,likegrandmassmell,smellofmychildhoodwomen.

  Shehas,ofcourse,enscedherselfinthenursery.Andhoed,inmymildfever,toseesomanydollshadsetupcampinthisdecay!

  Dollseverywherehiggledy-piggledy,dollsthrustdownthesidesofchairs,dollsspilledoutofteachests,dollsproppedupoelpiecewithblank,batteredfaces.Hadshegatheredallthedollsofallthedeparteddaughtersofthehousehere,aroundher,forpany?Thedollsstaredatmedumblyfromglasseyesthatmightholdinsuspensionthemagiow-stormthattrappedmehere;IfeltIwastheosureofalltheirblindeyes.

  AndhaveIianyofthesenowmoth-gnawedcreaturesinthisroombefore?WhenIfirstfaihehall,didIfallbatimetoenteronawhitebeachofyearsagothisyounglady,whoseheavyheaddropsforwardonherbosomsinceherlimpbodyhaslosttoomuchsawdusttotiosupportit?Thestrutsofhersatinolioveinlikeabrokenumbrella.Herblousyneighboursdarkredsilkdresshasfadedtoathinpinkbutshehasnotlostherparasolbecauseithadbeeoherhandarawbohthedraggledfeathersstillhangsbyafewthreadsfromthebruewignowawryonaascalp.

  AndIalmosttrippedoverapoorcorpseonthefloorinapurplishjacketofbaldi,herworn,waxfaceraddledwithage,onlyafewstraofallthathoney-colouredhair...

  Yetifanyofthedenizensofthatimaginarynurserywerevisitingthisone,slippedoutofmydreamthroughaoftheimagination,thenIcouldntreisethem,thankGod,amongthedollshalflovedtodeathandnowscatteredaboutaroomwhosepresentownerhadsecratedittoageriatricess.heless,Ifeltacertainsenseofdisquiet,notsomuchfearasforeboding;butIwastoopreoccupiedwithmyphysicaldisyhorridaches,painsandscratches,topaymuchattentiontoaprigofthenerves.

  Andintheoldwomansroom,allwasasfasaglowingfire,asteamileakeit,evenifeldritchlyilluminatedbyadlestuitsowngreaseontothemantelpiece.Theveryhomelinessoftheroomwentsomewaytowardsrestmybatteredspiritsandtheademeverywele,bustledmeoutofthesheepskincoatwithalmostasmuchsolicitudeasifsheknewwhoitbeloo,setmedowninanarmchair.Initsredplushdeath-throes,thisarmchairlookednothinglikethosebleached,rememberedsplendours;Itoldmyselfthesnowhadgotintomyeyesandbrain.Theoldwomancroucheddowntotakeoffmywetshoesforme;pouredmethick,richteafromherever-readypot;cutmeasliceingerbreadthatshekeptinanoldbiscuittinictureofkittensonthelid.Nospookorphantomcouldhavehadahandinthemakingofthatsagging,treacly,iiblegoody!Ifeltbetter,already;outside,theblizzardmightragebutIwassafeandwarm,inside,evenifinthepanyofanauthentie.

  Forsuchsheundeniablywas,bentalmosttoahoopwithage,saltandpepperhairskeweredupontopofherheadwithtortoiseshellpins,afacesoerodedwithwriwashardtotellwhethershewassmilingornot.Sheandherquartershadnotseensoapandwaterforalongtimeandthelingering,sour,rankodourofuncaredfornessfaintlyrepelledmebuttheteawentdownlikeblood.Anddontyouremembertheslopsandoldclothessmellofgrandmaskit?Cloutsehomeagain,withavengeance.

  Shepouredteaforherselfandperchedontopofthepileofoldneersanddiscardedclothingthatcushionedherownchairattheothersideofthefire,tosipfromherdchatteraboutthevioleheweatherwhilstIwentonthawingmyselfout,eyeing--nervously,Imustadmit--thedollsproppedoneveryflatsurface,theroomfulofbedizenedraggle-taggles.

  Whenshesawmelookingatthedolls,shesaid:"Iseeyoureadmiringmybeauties."Meanwhile,snowdroveagainstthecurtainlesswindow-paneslikefuriousbirdsandblastsechoedthroughthehouse.Theoldwomanthrustheremptycupawayie,allatoncemovedasifbyasuddensenseofpurpose;IsawImustpayinkindformykiion,Imustgiveherapieceofundividedattention.Shescoopedupanarmfulofdollsaointroducethemtomeonebyoty.Quitedotty,pooroldthing.

  TheHon.FrancesBrambellhadoandherbell-shaped,satinskirthadcollapsedbutshemusthavebeeyacquisitiontothetoycupboardinherday;time,however,hasitsrevehethreedivorces,thevoluntaryexileinMorocco,thehashish,thegigolos,theslowerosionofherbeauty...howitmadetheoldwomanchuckle!Buthowentingthegirlhadlookedwhenshereseheostrichfeathersnoddingabovehercurls!Ilookedfromtheoldwomantothedollandbackagain;nowtheewasanimated,athicktrackofspittledesdedher.Withanironiclaugh,shetossedtheHon.FrancesBrambelltooneside;theaheadbouncedoffthewallandherlimbsjerkedalittlebeforeshelaystillonthefloor.

  Seraphine,DuchessofPyke,worefadedmaroonsilkandwhathadoncebeeheredhat.Shehailed,initially,fromParisandstillpossessedacertainstyle,eveninheroldage,althoughtheDuchesshadbeenbynomeansamodelofproprietyand,evenifshecarriedoffheracquiredranktothemannerborn,thereisnomoreperfectaladythanonewhoiserthansheshouldbe,suggestedtheoldwoman.Inaparoxysmofwheezinglaughter,shecasttheDuchessandherpretensionsontopoftheHon.FrancesBrambellandtoldmenowImustmeetLadyLucy,ah!shewouldbeamaresswhensheiedbuthadbeeedwithmothinhermostsensitivepartsandgrownemaciated,inspiteofherprettyvelvetridinghabit.Shealwaysworepurple,thecolourofpassion.Thesinsofthefathers,insihisgossipyharridan,agenitalaffli...thefutureheldinstoreforthepirlonlyics,sanatoria,awheel-chair,dementia,prematuredeath.

  Eaurkyhistorywasunfoldedtome;theoldickedthemupanddismissedthemwithsufidentauthorityIsoonrealisedsheknewallthelittlegirlswhosenamesshedgiventothedollsintimately.Shemusthavebeenthenannyhere,Ithought;andstayedohefamilyallleftthesinkingship,afterherlastcharge,thatlittledaughterwhomight,mightshenot?havelookedjustlikemyimaginaryblondeheiress,ranoffwithavirilebutuncouthchauffeur,or,perhaps,theblacksaxophonistinthedandofanoliner.Aaineriedthedesuetude.Intheolddays,shemusthavewipedtheirprettynosesforthem,cuttheirbreadandbutterintopianokeysforthem...allthelittlegirlsmustoncehaveplayedinthisverynursery,eforteawiththeyoungmistress,goridingonponies,grownuptoetodanwonderfuldresses,stayedoverforhouseparties,golfbyday,affairsoftheheartbynight.HadmyMelissa,herself,dancedhere,perhaps,inherunimaginableadolesce?

  Ithoughtofallthebeautifulwomenwithround,bareshouldersdiscreetaspearlsgoingintodinnerindressesasbrilliantasthehot-houseflowersthatsurrouhem,handsomelysetoffbythedinner-jacketsoftheirparthoughtheywouldhavebeenfarmorefinelyaccessorisedbyme--womenwhohadoncefilledthewholehousewiththatineffableperfumeofsexandluxurythatdrewmegreedilytoMelissasbed.Andtime,now,frostingthoselovelyfaces,theyearsfallingontheirheadlikesnow.

  Thewindhowled,thelogshissedie.TheebegantoyawnandsodidI.Ieasilycurlupinthisarmchairbesidethefire;Imhalfasleepalready--pleasedonttroubleyourself.But,no;Imusthavethebed,shesaid.

  Youshallsleepinthebed.

  And,withthat,cackledfuriously,joltingmefrommybitter-sweetreverie.Herrheumyeyesflashed;IwasstriwiththeghastlynotioedtosacrificemetosomeagedlustofhersasthepriynightslodgingbutIsaid:"Oh,Itpossiblytakeyourbed,pleaseno!"Butheronlyreplywastocackleagain.

  Whensherosetoherfeet,shelookedfartallerthanshehadbeeoweredoverme.Now,mysteriously,sheresumedheroldauthority;herwordwaslawinthenursery.Shegraspedmywristinaholdlikelockjawanddraggedme,rotesting,tothedoorthatIknew,withashockofperfectreitiohenightnursery.

  Iwascruellyprecipitatedbatotheheartofmydream.

  Beyondthedoor,ohresholdofwhichIstumbled,allwasasithadbeenbefore,asifthenightnurserywerethegeless,unvaryinglyeyeofthestormanditswhitehatofaplacebeyondthespectrumofcolours.Thesamestofwashedhair,thedimtranquillityofthenightlight.Thewhite-enamelledcrib,withitsdreamingoct.Thestormedalullaby;thelittleheiressofthesnowpavilionhadeyelidslikecarvedalabasterthatholdthelightinaluminouscup,butshewasaflawedjewel,thisone,ashatteredreplica,adrawingthathasbeenscribbledover,and,forthefirsttimeinallthatnight,Ifeltapurefear.

  Theoldwomansoftlyapproachedhercharge,andpluckeda,somefloppy,cloththing,frombetweenthecovers,whereithadlaininthechildspalearms.Andthisobjectshe,cagagainwithobscureglee,haomeasceremoniouslyasifitresentfromaChristmastree.IjumpedwhenItouchedPierrot,asiftherewerearicchargeinhissatinpyjamas.

  Hewasstillg.Fasated,fearful,Itouchedtheshiningteardroppendantonhischeekandlickedmyfinger.Salt.AearwelledupfromtheglasseyetoreplacetheoneIhadstolen,thenanother,andanother.Untiltheeyelidsquiveredandclosed.Ihadseenhisfacebefore,afacethathadeatentoomuchbreadandmargaristime.Amagiow-stormblindedmyeyes;Iwept,too.

  TellMelissatheimagefactoryisbankrupt,grandma.

  Diffuse,ironiediofthenightlight.Thesleepingchildextendedherwarm,stickyhandtograspmine;inaterrorofsolation,Itookherinmyarms,inspiteofherimpetigo,herlice,herstenchofwetsheets.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读

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