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The Quilt Maker-2

  Becausetheeffectofhennaisalsomodifiedbytherealcolourofthehairbeh.Thisiswhatitdoestowhitehair:

  InTurkey,inasmalltrytownwithalineofpoplartreesalongthehorizonandadirt-flooredsquare,chis,motorbikes,apricotsellers,anddonkeys,awomanwashagglingforthosesesame-seed-coatedbraceletsofbreadyouwearonyourarm.Fromtheback,shewassmallandslender;shewaswearingloose,dark-bluetrousersinapeasantprintandascarfwoundroundherhead,butfrombehisscarftherefellthemostwonderfullong,thick,Rapunzel-likeplaitofgoldenhair.Puregold;goldasaweddingring.Thissingleplaitfellalmosttoherfeetandwasasthickasmytwoarmsheldtogether.Iwaitedimpatientlytoseethefaceofthisfairy-talecreature.

  Stringingherbreadsonherwrist,sheturned;andshewasold.

  "Whatalife,"saidLetty,asIbedherhair.

  OfLettyslifeIknownothing.Iknowowothingsabouther:howlongshehaslivedinthisbasement--sincebeforeIwasborn,howsheusedtolivewithanolderbrother,wholookedafterher,anolderbrother.Thathe,lastNovember,felloffabus,whattheycalla"platformact",fellofftheplatformofamovingbuswhenitslowedforthestopatthebottomoftheroadand,falling,irreparablycrackedhisheadoone.

  LastNovember,justbeforetheplatformact,herbrothercameknogatourdoortoseeifwecouldhelphimwithalightthatdidnotwork.Thelightintheirflatdidnotworkbecausethecablehadrottedaway.Thelandlordpromisedtoseributtheelectrievercame.Lettyandherbrotherusedtopaytwopoundsfiftypenceaweekrent.Fromthelandlordspointofview,thiswasnotaneit;itwouldnotcoverhisexpehehouse,ratesetthepointofviewofLettyaebrother,thiswasnotaneit,either,becausetheycouldnotaffordit.

  Corre:Lettyandherbrothercouldnotafforditbecausehewastooproudtoallowthehouseholdtoavailitselfoftheservicesofthegprofessions,socialworkersandsoon.Afterherbrotherdied,thegprofessionsvisitedLettyenmasseandnowherfinancialpositioniseasier,herrentispaidforher.

  Corre:aidforher.

  WeknowhernameisLettybecauseshewasbangingoutblindlyinthedarkkitaswe/helookedatthefuseboxandherbrothersaidfretfully:"Letty,giveover!"

  WhatLettyoncesawandheardbeforethefallibleserayedherintoaworldofhalftonesandmutedsoundsisunknowntome.Whatshetouched,whatmovedher,aremysteriestome.SheisAtlantistome.Howsheearnedherliving,whysheandherbrothercameherefirst,alltherealbridmortarofherlifehavecollapsedintoarubbleottenpast.

  Iotguesswhatwereorareherdesires.

  Shewassoftlyfretfulherself,shesaid:"Theyrenotgoingtotakemeaway,arethey?"Well,theywoherstayhereonherown,willthey,notnowshehasprovedthatshetbetrustedtoliestillinherowhouttumblingoutarseovertipinatrapofblas,incapablehtingherself.AfterIbedherhair,whenIbroughthersometea,sheaskedmetofetchherporcelaihfromasauthedressingtable,sothatshecouldeatthebiscuit."Sorryaboutthat,"shesaid.Sheaskedmewhothepersonstandingbesidemewas;itwasmyownrefleinthedressing-tablemirror,but,allthesame,oh,yes,sheerfectlysoundmind,ifyoustretchthedefinitionof"sound"onlyaverylittle.Omakeallowances.Onewilldosoforoneself.

  Sheosituptodrinktea,Iliftedher.Shewassofrailitwaslikepigupawickerbasketwithnothingi;Ibracedmyselfforaburdenandtherewasnone,shewasaslightasifherboneswerefilledwithairlikethebonesofbirds.Ifeltsheneededweights,tokeepherfromfloatinguptotheceilingfollowingherairyvoice.Faintodourofthelionhouseinthebedroomanditwasfreezingcold,although,outside,agooddealofAprilsunshihefirstwhiteflakesofcherryblossomshakingloosefromthetightbuds.

  Lettyscatcameandsatontheendofthebed."Hello,pussy,"saidLetty.

  Ohoseill-kemptballsoffluffoldladieskeep,thiscatlooksasifhesunravelling,itsblackfurhasrustedandfadedatthesametime,butsomecatsarenaturalsforthegprofessions--theywillgiveyoumutepanylongafteranyoneelsehasstoppedtoleratingyourbabbling,theydontjudge,dontgiveadamnifyouwetthebedand,whentheeyesightfades,freelyofferthemselvesforthesolationofstillsefiips.Hekheshit-stainedquiltwithhispaurrs.

  Thecowupstairscamedownatlastanddeniedallknowledgeoflastnightsrumpus;sheclaimedshehadsleptsosoundlyshedidhedoorbellorthefortry.Shemusthavepassedoutorsomething,orelsewasallbutoutoownwithhermanfriend.Or,hermanfriendwasherewithherallthetimeandshedidntwantanybodytoknowsokeptherheaddown.Weseehermanfriendowiceaweekashearrivescrabwisetoherdoorwiththefurtivenessoftheadulterer.Thecowupstairsisfiftyish,aswellpreservedasifshedsprayedherselfalloverwiththehairlacquerthatkeepsherbrightbrowncurlsintightdiscipline.

  Nolovelostbetweenheray."Whatahealthhazard!Whatafirehazard!"Letty,downstairs,dreamilyhalluatingintheicybasementasthecowupstairswatchesmesweepupthebrokenglassonthehallfloor."Sheoughtnttobeleft.Sheoughttobeinahome."Thefinalcher:"Food."

  Lettydreamilyapostrophisedthecat;theydosintoanyoldpeopleshomesthatIknowof.

  Thenthesocialworkercame;aor;and,outofnreat-niece,probablysummohesocialwreat-nieherlatetwehagreat-great-gateddybear.Lettyispleasedtoseethegreat-great-niedthischildisthefirstcrackthatappearsiurethatIdbuiltupofLettyssecluded,lonelyoldage.Wehadntrealisedtherewerekin;ihegreat-susinourplacegoodandproper."Itsuptofamilynow,"shesaid,sowecurtsyareat,andthisgreat-nieceissharpasatack,busyasabee,proprietorialyettehtheoldlady."Letty,whathaveyougotuptonow?"Wardingusoutsidersoff;perhapssheisashamedoftheshit-stainedquilt,theplasticbucketofpissbesideLettysbed.

  AstheywerepagLettysthingsinanairlihegreat-niecebrought,thelandlord--byacuriousstrokeoffate--chosethisverydaytocollectLettysrentandperkedupnoend,strokinghiswell-shaven,tohearthecowupstairsgoonandonabouthowLettycouldnolongercope,howsheendangeredpropertyandlifeonthepremisesbyfmentoeandbreakdowndoors.

  Whatalife.

  Thentheambulancecame.

  Lettyisgoingtospendafewdaysinhospital.

  Thisstreetis,asestateagentssay,rapidlyimproving;thelacecurtainsareingdown,theroundpaperlampshadesgoinguplikewhiteballoonsineachfrontroom.ThelandlordhadpromisedthecowupstairsfivethousandpoundsinherhandtomoveoutafterLettygoes,sothatherenovatethehouseawithvatpossessionforatremendousprofit.

  Weliveinhard-imes.

  Thestillunravishedbride,thecherrytree,takesflpossessionofthewildgarden;theex-peachthiefplatestheprospectofripefruitthebirdswilleat,notI.Curiouseuphemism"togo",meanih,todepartonajourney.

  Somewherealonganotheryeartoheaven,Ielicitedthefollowinglaboriousexplanationofmalesexualresponse,whichistheothersideofthemoon,theabsolutemystery,theohingIeverknow.

  "Youputitin,whitb.Thenyourockbackwardsandforwards.Thatgetquiteb.Thenyoue.Thatsn."

  For"you",read"him".

  "Youe;orasanesesay,go."

  Justso."Ikimasu,"togo.TheJapaneseasmicdeparturereheEnglishasmicarrival,asiftheeventwerereflectedinthemirrorandthesignificeofitaltogetherdifferent--whateversignificeitmayhave,thatis.Desiredisappearsinitsfulfilment,whichiscoldfortforhotbloodandthereasonwhythereisnosuchthingasahappyending.

  Besidesallthis,Japasallitsverbsattheendsofitssentences,whichhelpstofusethefnerallthemore,soitseemedtometheythemselvesneverquiteknewwhattheyweresayinghalfthetime.

  "Everythinghereisarsy-varsy."

  "No.Whereyouareisarsy-varsy."

  Ahetwainshallmeet.Helovedtobebored;dontthinkhewasptuouslydismissiveoftheelementofboredomiinsexualactivity.Headoredandveedboredom.Hesaidthatdogs,forexample,wereneverbored,norbirds,so,obviously,thecapacitythatdistinguishedmanfromthehermammals,fromthescaledaheredthings,wasthatofboredom.Themoreboredonewas,themoreoneexpressedoneshumanity.Helikedredheads."Europeansaresocolourful,"hesaid.Hewasatrickybugger,thatone,aBigPeach,allright;faceofGerardPhilipe,soulofNechaev.Igrabbed,grabbedandgrabbedand,sinceIdidnothavemuchexperiengrabbing,oftenbitoffmorethanIcouldchew.Exemplaryfateoftheplumppeach-thief;someonerefusestobeassimilated.Onceayear,whenIlookatLettyscherrytreeinflower,Iputtheimagetowork,Iseethepetalsfallonafacethatlookedasifithadbeenhammeredoutofgold,likethemaskofAgamemnonwhichSchliemannfoundatTroy.

  Themaskturnsintoashiningcarpandflipsoffthehookattheendofthefishingliheogotaway.

  Letmenotromanticiseyoutoomuch.BecausewhatwouldIdoifyoudidresurrectyourself?Cameknogatmydoorinallyourfoul,cool,chicofdesignerjeansaherblousonandyourpocketstuffedwithG.N.P.,arrivingsomewhatlateiomakeawomanofmeasyousometimesusedtothreatenthatyoumight?"Whenyoureleastexpegit..."God,Imforty,now.Forty!IhadyoumarkeddownforaDemonLover;whatifindeedyoupoppedupoutofthegraveoftheheartbrightasabuttonwithanAmericarpurringoutsidewaitingtowhiskmeawaytowheretheliliesgrowoomofthesea?"Iamnowmarriedtoahousecarpenter,"asthegirlinthesongexclaimedhurriedly.Butallthesame,offshewentwiththelovelycloven-footedoIwouldnt.NotI.

  Andhowveryinappropriatetoo,thelanguageofantiqueballadsinwhichtoaddressonewhokheiionallanguageofthejukebox.YoudhaveohoseWurlitzerCadillacsyouliked,thatyouenviedG.I.sfor,allreadytohumiliatemewith;itwouldbebellowingoutquadraphonid.TheEverlyBrothers.JerryLeeLewis.EarlyPresley.("WhenIgrowup,"youreveried,"ImgoingtoMemphistomarryPresley.")Youwerealtogethertoomuch,youpurechildofthelatetwehtury,youpersonfromtheothersideofthemoonormirror,andyourhypotheticalarrivalisacatastrophetooterrifyingtoplate,eveniplaateretforonesyouth.

  IleadaquietlifeinSouthLondon.Igrindmycoffeebeansanddrinkmyearlycuptoaspotofearlybaroqueontheradio.Iamnowmarriedtoahousecarpenter.Liketheculturethatcreatedme,Iamregintothepastatarateofknots.SoonIllneedawholerowoffootnotesifanybodyuhirty-fiveisgoingtoprehendtheleastthingIsay.A...

  Goingoutintothebackgardentopiarytoputinsideachi,thedaffodilsintheuncutgrass,enoughblackbirdsouttomakeapie.

  Lettyscatsitsoyswindowsill.Theblindsaredrawn;thesocialworkerdrewthemfivedaysagobeforeshedroveoffitleFiattothehospital,followiyintheambulance.IcalltoLettyscatbuthedoesntturnhishead.Hisfluffhasturospikes,helooksspinyasahorse-chestnuthusk.

  Lettyisinhospitalsuppingbrothfromaspoutedd,forallmyki,ofwhichIamsoproud,myempathyandsoon,Imyselfhadnotgiveyspanionahoughtuntiltoday,goingouttopiarywithwhichtostuffaroastfreedydinners.

  Icalledhimagain.Atthethirdcall,heturnedhishead.Hiseyeslookedasifmilkhadbeenpouredintothem.ThegardenwalltoohightoclimbsinlesslimberthanIwas,Ichuckedhalfthetentsofaguiltytinofcatfoodover.ea.

  Lettysevermoved,onlystaredatmewithitscurtainedeyes.Andthenallthefat,sleekcatsfromeverygardenupanddowncamejumping,leaping,creepingtotheuedfeastandgobbledalldown,everycrumb,quickasawink.Whatalessiverofcharity!AttheclusionofthisheartlessbawhichIdbeehoughtlesshost,thepanyofwell-cared-forbeastsstretchedtheirswollenbelliesinthesunandlickedthemselves,alast,Lettyscatheaveduponitsshakylegsandlauself,plopontothegrass.

  Ithought,perhapshegotabelatedwhiffofcatfoodandcameforhisshare,toolate,allgoheothercatsignoredhim.Hestaggeredwhenhelashtedhimself.Hetooknoialliainsofcatfood,though.Hemanagedafewdstepsamongthedandelions.ThenIthoughthemightbegoingtochewoemsofmedialgrass;buthedidnotsomuchlowerhisheadtowardsitaslethisheaddrop,asifhehadnthlefttoliftit.Hissideswerecaved-iiff,voluminousfur.Hehadakingself.Hepeeredvaguelyaround,swaying.

  Youcouldalmosthavebelieved,notthathewaswaitingforthepersonwhoalwaysfedhimtoeandfeedhimagainasusual,butthatheiningforLettyherself.

  Thenhishindlegsbegantoshudderinvoluntarily.Hesovulsedhimselfwithshudderingthathishindlegsjerkedofftheground;hedanced.Hejerkedandshuddered,shudderedandjerked,untilatlasthevomitedupasmallamountofwhiteliquid.Thenhepulledhimselftohisfeetagainandlurchedbacktothewindowsill.Withagiganticeffort,hedraggedhimselfup.

  Lateron,somebodyjumpedoverthewall,moresprightlythanIaabowlofbreadandmilk.Butthecatighattoo.day,bothwerestillthere,untouched.

  Thedayafterthat,onlythebowlofsoursops,andcherryblossompetalsdriftingacrossthevatwindowsill.

  Smallsinsofomissionremihegreatersinsofomission;atleastsinsofissioheexcuseofchoice,ofiion.However:

  May.Ablowy,bright-blue,bright-greenm;IgooutonthefrontstepswithashiftingplasticsackeandwhatdoIseebutthesocialworkersredFiatputtertoahaltdoor.

  Inthehospitaltheydheny.Anoctogenarianredhead,mybigbabushkawhotainsmyforty,mythirty,mytwenty,mytenyearswithinherfragilebasketofbones,shehasreturned,notinahumiliatingambulaonherowntwofeetthatshesetsdownmorefirmlythanshedid.Shehasputonalittleweight.Shehasabettercolour,notonlyinherhairbutinhercheeks.

  Thelandlord,foiled.

  Escortedbythesocialworker,thedistriurse,thehomehelp,theabrasiveyetnotuletyisescorteddowntheu,grass-growstairsintoherownscarcelyusedfrontdoorthatsomeohakeyhasrememberedtounboltfrominsideforherreturn.Hernewcockatoocrest--whoeverhennadherreallyuoodhenna--pointsthiswayandthatwayasshemakessurethatnothingireethasged,evenifsheseeonlylargeblocksoflightandshadow,hear,nottheshriekingblackbirds,butonlythetwitchofthevoiherearthatshout:"Carefullydoesit,Letty."

  "Imanage,"shesaidtetchily.

  Thedoorthepolibatteredinclosesuponherandherchatterie.

  Thewindowofthefrontroomofthecowupstairsslamsdown,bang.

  AndwhatamItomakeofthat?Idsetitupsocarefully,anenigmaticstructureaboutevanesdageingasoftime,shadowslengthening,cherryblossom,fetting,,regret...thesadhesadnessofitall...

  But.Letty.Lettycamehome.

  Intheershop,thecowupstairs,madasfire:"Theyshouldhavecertifiedher";thefivegrandthelandlordpromisedhersothathecouldsellthehousewithvatpossessionhasblownawayontheMaywindthatdisiedthedandelionclocks.Iysgardennowisthetimeforfierceyellowbuttercups;thecherryblossomisover,s.

  Ihopesheistoooldandtoomissthecat.

  Fatce.

  Ihopesheneverwondersifthenicewarmcoupledoorthoughtoffeedinghim.

  Butshehasehometodieatheroarentlyampleleisureinthefortandprivacyofherbasement;shehasexercised,hasshenot,herrighttochoose,shehasturnedallthisintocrazypatchwork.

  Somewherealongmythirtiethyear,IleftahusbandinabusstationinHouston,Texas,atowntowhichIhaveurned,overaquarrelaboutapeachwhich,atthetime,seemedtosumupthewholequestionoftherightsofindividualswithiionships,and,indeed,perhapsitdid.

  AsyoutellfromthecolourfulscrapsoforientalbrocadeandTurkishhomespunIhavesewnintothisbedcover,Ithen(callmeIshmael)wanderedaboutforawhileandsowed(orsewed)awildoatortwointothisusefuldomesticarticle,thisproductofthriftandimagination,withwhichIhopetoyselfinmyoldagetokeepmybrittleboneswarm.(Howcolditisiysbasement.)

  But,okay,soIalwayssaidtheblossomwouldebackagain,butLettysreturnfromthewhitegraveofthegeriatricwardisridiculous!And,furthermore,wheoutintothegardentopickafewtulips,thereheis,ohersideofthebrickwall,lollingvoluptuouslyamongthecreepingbuttercups,fatasbutterhimself--Lettysbeenfeedinghimup.

  "Impleasedtoseeyou,"Isaid.

  InaJapanesefolktaleitwouldbetheghostofhercat,rustyandtactileasihepoorcatpiningitselffromdeathtolifeagaintoetothebackdooratthesoundofhervoice.ButweareinSouthLondononaspringm.LorriesfartandsplutteralongtheWandsworthRoad.CapitalRadioisbrayingfromanupperwindow.Anoldcat,palpableasased-handfurcoat,drowsesamoercups.

  Weknoewerebornbut--

  thetimesofourreprievesareequallyrandom.

  Shakeitoutandlookatitagain,theflowers,fruitandbrightstainofhenna,theRussiandolls,thewrinklingchiffonoftheflesh,theoldsongs,thecat,thewomay;thewomanofforty,withdyedhairandmostofherowh,whoismasemblable,masoeur.Whonowrecedesintothedeceptiveprivacyofageure,aneedlewoman,aquiltmaker,amiddle-agedwomansewingpatchworkinacitygarden,turningherfacevigorouslyagainsttherodtreesofthepatientwildernesswaitingroundus.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读