19

  Q:IsometimesimagiIamitrol.Ihaveasmallwhitetruckwithareddiamond-shapedemblemonthedoorandawhitejumpsuitwiththesameemblemonthebreastpocket.Iparkthetrufrontofasubscribershree-huhousand-dollarhome,extractthesilveristerofdeadlypest-killerfromthebackofthetrudthebricksidewalktothehousesfrontdoor.Chimesring,thedoorswingsopen,ayoungwifeinjeansandapinkflannelshirtwornoutsidethejeansisstandingthere."Pesttrol,"Isay.Shesmilesatme,Ismilebadmovepastherintothehouse,intothehandsomelyappoi.Theisterissuspendedbyaslingfrhtshoulder,and,pumpingthemeismoccasionallywithmyrighthand,Ipointthenozzleofthehoseatthebaseboardsaospray.Isprayalongsidetherefrigerator,alongsidethegasrange,uhesink,andbehitable.,Imovetothebathrooms,pumpingandspraying.Theyoungwifeisinanotherroom,waitingformetofinish.Iwalkintothemainsittingroomandspraydiscreetlybehindthelargestpiecesoffurniture,anoaksideboard,aredplushVictoriancoudalongtheihefireplace.Idothestudy,sprayingbehiersheavydeskonwhichthereisanopencopyofthebiaEncyclopedia,hesbeenlookinguptheSevenYearsWar,1756-63,yellowhighlightingthere,andbe?hiy-five-inchRCAtelevisioerbedroomrequiresjusttouches,likeperfumebehindtheear,shortburstsinherclosetwhichmustavoidthetwodozenpairsofshoesthereandinhisclosetwhi?tainssixtoeightlonggunsinvascases.FinallyIspraythelaundryroomwithitsbigwhitewasheranddryer,andbehindthefoldingtablestackedwithsheetsandtowelsalreadyfolded.Whofolds?Isurmisethatshefolds.Unlessoheolderchildren,pressedintoservice,folds.Inmyexperieheyareuofold.Maybetheaupair.Fiearaproperly-made-outreceiptfrommyreceiptbookaittotheyoungwife.Shescribblesherheappro?priatespadhandsitbae.ThehousenowstinksquitepalpablybutIknowandsheknowsthatthestenchwilldissipateintwotofourhours.Theyoungwifeesetothedoor,and,inparting,pinsasilvermedalonmychestandkissesmeonbothcheeks.Pesttrol!

  Fouroclothem.Simonlisten?ingtooneofhisradios,sippingwhitewiwohornplayersaretalkingaboutColtrane.

  "Thethingis,"onesays,aherburstsintosay,"Yeah,butwaitaminute."

  AWoodyShawrecordisplayed.Simonsusingear?phonessoheplaythemusicasloudashepleaseswithoutdisturbingthewomen.Atlowvolumeyoulosehalfofit,athinghiswifehadneveruood.NowoheguestsispraisingDflat."ThisisonITC,"thehostsays."ITewlabelthatsjustgettingstartedinLA.Theyregettingnewguysanddoihings."ThedrummerontheWoodyShawrecordiswonderfullyskillfulifabitorotund.

  "Greatone,"saysoheguysontheradio,wheonMarsalistrackisover.

  "Alotofhumility,"saystheother."Imeanhedoitall."

  Simonsuddenlyremembersputtingonhisdaugh?tersshoes,inthem,beforehiswifetookhertonurseryschool.Hiswifebroughtinthechildandtheshoes,andSarahwouldsitonhislapassneakerwasfit?tedtofoot."Makeyourtoeslittle,"hedsay,andshedperverselyspreadthem.

  "NewYorkisabitch,"theradiosays,"buttheresmoreunity."

  Wheat-germbubblegumwasserved

  AttheManiacsBall

  Helayshimselfdowninbed,sleepsfitfullyforanhourandahalf.Atsixhesupagain,inat-shirtandjeans,movingaroundtheapartment.Thewomenareallstillsleeping.Helooksoutofthewindows.Oreetamaninvioletrunningshortsiscarryingawomanonhisshoulders,shesinfactridinghim,herlegsaroundhishemanisheavy,muscular,car?rieshisriderwithspectacularease.Thewomanisinherearlyforties,themanthesameageoralittleyouhemanrunsincircles,thewomanwaveslikeacircusperformer.Itssix-thirty.

  WhenhegoesouttogettheTimesthereisasemi-corpseiibule,abarelybreathingHispanicmale.Hesvomitedbloodandbloodisallovertheredtile.Simonshakesthemansshoulder.Whiskeysmellandnovisiblewounds.Heshakesthemanagain.Noresponse.

  Theresahospitalattheendoftheblock.Simon,onthesidewalk,stopsaresidentoowork.HesOriental,KoreanorJapanese,white-clothed,astetho?scopestuhisright-handjacketpocket.

  "Theresamaniingoodshape."

  Thedoctorlooksannoyed.

  "ineoneone."

  "Ithinkyoudbetterlookathim.Helooksprettyfargone."

  Withclearrelucethedoctor,asmallmanwithamustache,followsSimonintothevestibule.Hebendsoverthefallenman,takingottotouchhim.

  "Callthehospital.Somethinginthe--"

  Hemovesonehandupanddownhischest.

  "Drunk,too."

  Simesbackupstairsandtelephohehos?pital.

  ANDwhatifwegrowoldtogether,justthefourofus?Thelovingquartet?Whatifweraddleto?gether?Theyofcourseraddlingataratelessprecipi?tantthanmyown.Ihaveaquarter-turyadvaermsofraddling.HesWAD,asthemedicalstu?dentssay,WhirlingAroundtheDrain.Whatkindofoldladieswilltheseoldladiesbe?Veronicawillbe,asever,moody.Shelldosomethingimmenselyfoolish,likewritingabook.Thebookwillbeaendedmedi?tationontheword"or,"ortheroadnottaken,ortheroadtakenbutnotenjoyed,ortheroadtakenanden?joyedtothefullest,acelebrationof"or"notlessfun-somethanKierkegaards.Twelvepeoplewillreadthebook.Fourwillwriteherletters.Iwillreadthebookbutnotwriteheraletter."Goodwork,"IwillsaytoVeronica,clappiheshoulderseveraltimestosigygratulation."Thattype..."ThebookwillhavebeeinBulmer,atypefacemosteloquent,anorexicBodonibutspeakiheless.VeronicawillbrioddyasIsitbythefire,twopintsoftequilalacedwithcapersandalittlegunpowder.Shellkissmyknee,whichwillprobably,bythistime,resem?bleadrillbit.Illplacemyclawinherhair,nowredandaveryvingredthankstoimprovedDupontmanipulationofthePeriodicTable.Theoldfolksathome.

  Dorewilleinanddemandtoknowwheremypenishasgotto.Idontknow,Illsay,itwasthereyes?terday,moreorless.Youcallthatthere,shellsay,sfully,andIllsay,Iamapoorrelic,apoorhusk,aleftover,asingleyellowbeancoveredwithgsailingonaflawedplatethroughtherefrigeratoroflife.Yes,shellsay,excuses,youpromisedusEden,youdid,Iremember,notanythingyousaidinsomanywordsbutbyimplication,youimpliedthatwewouldbehappyforevertogether...Ididnt!Illsay,orscream,Ialwayssaidthatthingswouldturnoutbadly,sulttherecords,lookatthetranscript,youhavenhtto--

  Anne

  "ITSthefaultofmen.Asagroup."

  "Theydontwantustobloomandflower."

  &qutokeepalltheprosperityforafewself-selectedindividuals.Men."

  "Iveeoneveryside."

  "Wholesocietieshavetakengleeandsatisfafromheg,humiliatingandscme."

  "ThoughtIheardaskunkbarking."

  "Theyaretearingmeapartwiththeirdefamationsthatwholeworldschuckleabout."

  "Ithinkweshouldbuysomeething,FirebirdsandCutlasses."

  "Theinsequenceofyourthoughtisaburdentome."

  "Stickascrewdriverdownyourthroatifyoumesswithme.Abigscrewdriver."

  "Gottagetthatbirdsontheground."

  "Youstart,inAmerica,withjustanickel,aysoonyouhaveadime!"

  "Ivebeenbusy,sbuttons,ohingandan?other."

  "Polishingthedoorknobsaingthefugoutoftheers."

  "AfewrowsoffiggersIdlikeyoutocheckover."

  "Usedtobeabletostayupallnightandroar.tdothatnow."

  "Washmyfingersfrequently,bubblinginrespooformsaionnaires."

  "Wewatchedamovieinwhichagiantdeliervisitedtheearthandalotoflittlegreenwimpshungabouttheedgesoftheframe,g."

  "YeahIsawthatone."

  "Guycameuptomeoreet,blackguy,hesays,youspareaquarterforanAmericitizen?"

  "Yougaveittohim."

  "HowcouldInot?"

  "Caughtintheitivesqueeze."

  "Pinkalwaysstruckmeassordid."

  "Hesgotthoselittlespotsonhishands."

  "Burns.Fromcookingfriedchi.Thegreasejumps."

  "Ifmenknewwhattheyweredoing,theywouldgewithfear."

  "Olderpeopleshouldbetreatedwithrespeuchbutsome."

  "Thatsreallyaveryfiitudetowardolderpeo?ple.Iadmireyouforthat."

  "Itshardthtandfreshwhenyouretooold."

  "Youactallyshooty.Iveknowhat."

  "Oldmenwithesgimpingdownthesidewalk.Whitehairaheads."

  "Idreamedaboutthisponylastnight.Veryengag?ingpoitinSimonsroom."

  "Theyfoundmorerabidskunks.TwoinBrooklysaheWorldTradeter."

  "Iftheygethere,howwilltheygethere?"

  "FromBrooklyn,theyhavetowalkoverthebridge.Fromdowntown,alltheyhavetodoisHudso."

  "TheycouldbeonHudsoalready.Wewouldntknow."

  "Theycouldbeinthegraveyards.Hidingoutinthegraveyardsbehindthesaggingstones.Wewouldntknow."

  "Iftheybiteyouthenyouredead."

  "Noyouhavetohaveshotsiomach.Forty-twoshotsiomach."

  "Whattheydoisbiteyourdomestiimals,yourcatsanddogs,andthenyourdomestiimalsbiteyou.Ortheybiteotherdomestiimalsauallysomebodybitesyou.Oryourchildren."

  "Imgoingtostayoffthestreets."

  "Nojustwearboots.Thenifoneapproachesyouyoukickit."

  "Whatdoesaskunklooklike?Iveneverseenone."

  "Itlookslikeawallabyexceptthatithasadifferentkindofhead.Lessatteheyreblack."

  "Iveohemsquashedontheroad."

  "Maybeweshouldputchiwireoverthewin?dows."

  "Ithinkweregettingintoapanichere.Justwearboots."

  "LetSimondealwiththem."

  "Doyouthinkhesbrave?"

  "NoIdontthinkhesbrave.ButIthinkhessmart."

  "Ifhessmartwhydoesnthemakeushappy?"

  "Whomakeushappy?Imeanifyoulookatitrealistically."

  "Hesaidhiswifefinallyaskedhimtostopintrodughertopeopleasmywife."

  "Thatsnotunreasonable."

  "Oherewontbeanywivesanymore."

  "Orhusbaher."

  "Justfreeunitscruisingthesurfaceoftheearth.Fly?ingtheblackflag."

  "Somethingtolookforwardto."

  "Doyoureallythinkso?"

  "Whataboutthechildren?"

  "Getonea.Keepitforyourself.Hugitandteachitthings.Everythingyouknow."

  "Buttheyhers,intheory.Thatkindofqual?ity,thatkindhquality..."

  "Ifotaboutboys."

  "Remihicklumberstackedonthebackofatruck,helddownbys--"

  "Howweleavehim?"

  "Howwenotleavehim?"

  "Hesgraciousandgood."

  "Hesnottheonlypebbleonthebeach."

  "Itsanimpossiblesituation."

  "ButIlikeit."

  "Thethingis,whetherwebelieveinourselvesornot."

  "Itslikethreepeoplereadingamagazihesametime."

  "Butwellneverseehimagain."

  "Wellsendpostcards."

  "Littlesatisfainthat."

  "Wellyouthaveeverything."

  "Somethingisbetterthannothing."

  "Thethingis,wejusthavetohavetheceofourvis."

  "WellIvelearhis:Tomakeprogress,youhavetogiveupsomething."

  "Howdoyouknowthatstrue?"

  "Itsoundsright.Itincludespain."

  "Ihavehope,"Simonsays."Notahellofalotofhope,butsomehope.Youonsofhopesim?plyiofun.Gottothinkthateverythingwillworkout.Idontthinkthatsdesding.Ihopeitsnotdesding.Ivedealtwithyoungpeo?plebefore.ItaughtSarahtorollhereyesandgroan,whenshewasfour,werehearsedit.Shewasattemptingitalready,herself,butshehadntght.MyfatherbelievedintheSedWorldWar,agoodchoice.Ibelieveinbricklayersbutevenbricklayersgetthingswrong,youspecifyacourseoftrastingbrick,varythepatternofheadersandstretchersandtheymisreadtheblueprints.Idontwanttobedesding.Treeshaveiy,tgofarwrongwithatree.Youwanttomakeabuildinglookgood,budgetheavilyfortrees.Abirdireeisbetterthanakitheprosthesis.ThatsallImean.Thankyouandgoodnight."

  "Simon,Idontwanttogo,"Annesays.

  "Idontwantyoutogo."

  "ButIhaveto."

  "Iuandthat.Butyoucouldbefoolishandun?wise."

  "Youdgettiredofme."

  "No.Thereverse,ifanything.Wecouldsitaroundandwatoviesontelevision.ThatsallIask."

  "Thatsnottrue."

  "Iaskyou,formally,tostay.Willyoustay?"

  "No."

  "Whynot?"

  "Itwouldntworkout."

  "Wecouldenjoyitforashorttime.Mightbeasmuchastwowholeyears."

  "Youmakeitsoundlikeacersituation.Itwouldntbefairtotheothers."

  "Whenisanythingeverfairtotheothers?"

  SIMOoNorthCarolinatoiajobheddoneinWinston-Salem,ahospital.The?struwasquitegoodandhefoundlittleto?plainof.Headmiredtheferation,donebyhisownhand.HespentanagreeablenightinaRamadaInnandflewbacktheday.HisseatmatewasayoungGermanwomanonherwaytoFrankfurt.Shewassixmonthspregnant,shesaid,andherhusband,anArmysergeantinChemicalWarfare,hadfoundanewgirlfriend,wasdivher.ShehadspenttwoyearsatBenning,lovedAmerica,spokewithwhatseemedtoSimonaTexasat.HerfatherwasdeadaheroperatedadystoreinFrankfurt.Theytalkedabnanddelivery,abouthowmuesheallowedherself,whetheraspirinwasinfactadahebaby,andhowbothofherbrothers-in-lawhadbeenbornintaxis.ShewasamazinglycheerfulgiventhecircumstandtoldhimthattheRussianswereprobablygoingtoattempttotakeoverMexiext.WehadedMexico,shesaid.

  OvertheAtlantithelongapproachtoKennedySimonsawahundredmileseier,fromtheairwhitefloatingscruff.ThewaterbecameagitatedatpointsasfishattackedthegarbageandSimonturnedhismindtopa.WhentheylandedhekissedtheGermanwomangoodbyeandtoldherthatalthoughsheprobablydidntfeelveryluckyatthemoment,shewasverylucky.

  "Igottogoawaynow,"Doresays."Igottoleavethisplace."

  "Igotstomakemahmarkindewhirl,"saysVeron?ica.

  "TheprophetZephaniahappearedtomeinadream,"Annesays."Hesaid,Split!Split!"

  "Timeboogieson,"Doresays.

  Theyaregatheredbythedoorwithmuchduffel.As?pectsofoptimisti.

  "Byeguys,"Simonsays.

  Theylurchthroughthedoor.

  Q:Maybetheylleback.

  A:No,no.Ofcoursenot.Whyshouldthey?

  Q:Doyouwaoeback?

  A:Ihavepeculiardreams.ButIsleepverywell,onbalance.

  Q:Howmanyhoursanight?

  A:Fourorfive.

  Q:SomepeoplelikeGiaetti.Asasculptor.Al?thoughIsupposeitsfoolishtospeakof"liking"Gia?etti.Armaturewithimpetigo.Hesnotaboutwomen.

  A:Yesheis.Also,hesgotarazorinhisshoe.

  Q:Doyouwantsomeoftheselittlegreeheyresupposedtobegood.

  A:Ithinknot.

  Q:FeelslikeSaturdaytoday,Idontknowwhy...

  A:ItdoesfeelabitlikeSaturday...

  Sotes,v4.0:Proofedverycarefully,italitamanyplaces,thepunctuationmayseemincorreissing,butthatwasthewayitwasisoblameeithereBantamorBarthelme,notme.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读

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