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On our street。。。

  Onourstreet,fourteengarbagesarenowmissing.ThegarbagesfromOeenandOneeendisappearedlastnight.Thisisnotaseriousmatter,butoherhasitupallnightwatgarbages.ItisprobablybestdescribedasanannoyaneTwelve,Oy-twoahirty-onehaveboughtnewplasticgarbagesatBarneysHardwaretoreplaissihusdownelevengarbages,.Manypeopleareusinglargedarkplasticgarbagebags.Thenewstruatthehospitalattheendoftheblockhasdisplaumberofrats.Ratsarenotmuchbotheredbyplasticgarbagebags.Infact,ifIwereorderedtoimagimightmostprofitablybeiedbyaitteeofrats,itwouldbetheplasticgarbagebag.Theratsrunupanddownourstreetallnightlong.

  IfIwereorderedtoimaginewhoisstealingarbages,Icouldnot.Iverymuchdoubtthatmywifeisdoingit.Someofthegarbagesonourstreetarebatteredmetal,othersareheavygreenplastic.Heavygreenplasticorheavyblackplasticpredominates.Someofthegarbageshavethenumbersofthehousestheybelongtopaiheirsidesorlids,withwhitepaint.Usuallybysomeohonlythecrudestseheartoflettering.Oneeen,whichhasamongitstenantsagiftedercialartist,isaion.Nooneexcessivelyfamouslivesonourstreet,tomyknowledge,thereforethemorbidattentionthatthegarbageofthefamoussometimesattractswouldnotbeafactor.ThePrectsaysthatnootherstreetwithintheprecthasreportedsimilarproblems.

  Ifmywifeisstealingthegarbages,inthenight,whileIamdrunkandasleep,whatisshedoingwiththem?Theyarenotinthecellar,Ivelooked(althoughIdontlikegoingdowntothecellar,eventoreplaceablownfuse,becauseoftherats).MywifehasayellowPontiavertible.heseanymorebutIimagineherliftinggarbagesintothebackseatoftheyellowPontiavertible,attwooclothem,whenIamdreamingofbeingonstage,dreamingofhavingtoperformadrumcertowithonlyonedrumstick...

  Onourstreet,twenty-onegarbagesarenowmissing.NewinfamieshavebeenannouncedbyOhirty-ohroughOy-three--seveninarow,andonthesamesideofthestreet.Also,depredationsatOeenay-four.utoutdozensofsofD-buttheratsighem.WhyshouldtheygofortheD-whentheyhavetheremnantsofEllenBussesBoeufRossini,forwhichsheisknownforsixbloeverydire?Weeatwell,onthisstreet,theresnodenyingit.ExceptforthenursingstudentsatOy-eight,andwhyshouldtheyeatwell,theyrestudents,aretheynot?Mywifecookssoft-shellcrabs,inseason,breaded,dustedwithtastyne,deep-fried.BarneysHardwarehasrunoutesandwillanothershipmentuntilJuly.AnynewgarbageswillhavetobepurchasedatBudgetHardware,far,farawayonSedStreet.

  Petulia,atCareers,askswhymywifehasbeenagsopeculiarlately."Peculiar?"Isay."Inwhatwaydoyoumean?"Dr.Maugham,wholivesatOy-fourwherehealsohashisoffice,hasformedaittee.Mr.Wilkens,fromOneeen,PallyWimber,fromOy-nine,andmywifeareontheittee.Theitteemeetsatnight,whileIsleep,dreaming,myturniingorderhaseupandIstandattheplate,batless...

  Therearesixty-twohousesonourstreet,four-storybrownstonesforthemostpart.Fifty-twesarenowmissing.Ratsridinguponthebacksofotherratsgallopupanddownourstreet,atnight.TheitteeisuodecidewhethertocallitselftheitteeortheRatittee.TheCityhassentaniorwhostoodmarveling,atmidnight,attheactivityonourstreet.Heisfili.Heurgesthattheremaininggarbagesbefilledwithlargestones.Mywifehasappointedmeasubitteeofthelargeritteewiththetaskoffindinglargestones.Isthereapeculiarlookonherfaceasshemakestheappoi?Dr.Maughamhasboughtashotgun,atwelve-gaugeover-and-under.Mr.WilkinshasboughtaChasebowandtwodozenhuntingarrows.Ihaveboughtafluteandaninstrubook.

  IfIwereorderedtoimaginewhoisstealingarbages,theLouisEscherfamilymightspringtomind,notasculpritsbutasproximatecause.TheLouisEscherfamilyhasalargeineandasmallapartment,iwenty-oheLouisEscherfamilyisgiventoacquiringthings,andgiventhesizeoftheLouisEscherapartment,mustdisposeofoldthingsioaodatehings.SometimestheoldthingsdisposedofbytheLouisEscherfamilyarescarcelytwoweeksold.Therefore,thegarbageatOy-oneiscloselyfollowedintheneighborhood,inthesethesalesandbargainslistedintheneersarecloselyfollowed.Theittee,whichfeelsthatthegarbageoftheLouisEscherfamilymaybemisrepresentingtheneighborhoodtothecriminalunity,madeapartiallistoftheitemsdisposedofbytheLouisEscherfamilyduringtheweekofAugusteighth:oar&pestle,majolicaware;oneEnglishcreammaker(creamismadebymixingunsaltedsweetbutterandmilk);ogreehenwaregeraniumleafplates;onefruitripenerdesignedbystistsattheUyofCalifornia,plexiglass;onenylonumbrellatentwithaluminumpoles;onebinationfountainpenandclockwithLEDreadout;oneminihole-puncher-and-fetti-maker;ool-gripspring-loadedflyswatter;o-irontortillapress;oneivorybahelephant-hairat;andmuch,muchmore.ButwhileIdonotdoubtthattheexcessesoftheLouisEscherfamilyaremisrepresentingtheneighborhoodtothecriminalunity,Imyselftosupportevenaresolutionofsure,siheexcessesoftheLouisEscherfamilyhavegivenusmuchtotalkaboutandnotafewsetsofgreehenwaregeraniumleafplatesovertheyears.

  Ireportedtomywifethatlargestoneswerehardtoebyiy."Stones,"shesaid."Largestones."IpurchasedtwohundredpoundsofSakreteatBarneysHardware,tomakestoh.Oneneedonlyaddwaterandstir,andyouhavemadeastoneasheavyandbrutishasastonemadebyGodhimself.Iamtemporarilybusy,inthebasement,shapingSakretetoresemblethis,thataher,butmostlystones--agood-lookingstoneisnottheeasiestofachievements.RitchieBeck,thelittleboyfromOenwhoisalwaysalohesidewalkduringtheday,smilingatstrangers,helpsme.IonceboughthimaeixIllustrated,whichImyselfreadavidlyasaboy.Harold,whoownsCareersandalsoownsaa,hasofferedtoflyoverourstreetatnightanddropbombsmadeoflethaldry-ingfluidos.ThereisaeldowntheHudsoake(solongashestaysunderelevenhundredfeet),aquickleftturn,thebombingrun,thenadashbackuptheHudson.Theywillpullhisticketifhescaught,hesays,butatthathourofthenight...Ishowmywifetheones."Idontlikethem,"shesays."Theydontlooklikerealstones."Sheisn,theylook,infact,likebadly-thrownpots,asiftheyhadbeendonebyapotterwithnothumbs.Theittee,whichhasselftheSpecialProvisionalUnnecessaryRatTeam(SPURT),hasacquiredarmbandsandwhitesteelhelmetsandisdiscussigripbywhichitsmemberswillidentifythemselvestoeachother.

  Therearenownesonourstreet--neslefttosteal.AitteeofratshasjoihtheSpecialProvisionalitteeiodealwiththesituation,which,theratshavemadeknown,isattragunweleratelementsfromotherareasofthecity.Membersofthetwoitteesexgesecretgrips.MywifedrivesgroupsofratshereandthereinheryellowPontiavertible,attendingimportaings.Thecrisis,shesays,willbealongone.Shehasneverbeenhappier.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读