Chapter 19
ThelibrarylookedtranquilenoughasIe,andtheSibyl—ifSibylshewere—wasseatedsnuglyenoughinaneasy-chairattheey-er.Shehadonaredcloakandabla:orrather,abroad-brimmedgipsyhat,tieddownwithastripedhandkerchiefunderher.Ainguisheddlestoodoable;shewasbendihefire,andseemedreadinginalittleblackbook,likeaprayer-book,bythelightoftheblaze:shemutteredthewordstoherself,asmostoldwomendo,whilesheread;shedidimmediatelyoraappearedshewishedtofinishaparagraph.
Istoodontherugandwarmedmyhands,whichwererathercoldwithsittingatadistanthedrawing-roomfire.IfeltnowasposedaseverIdidinmylife:therewasnothingihegipsy’sappeararoubleone’scalm.Sheshutherbookandslowlylookedup;herhat-brimpartiallyshadedherface,yetIcouldsee,assheraisedit,thatitwasastrangeolookedallbrownandblack:elf-locksbristledoutfrombehawhitebandwhichpassedunderher,andcamehalfoverhercheeks,orratherjaws:hereyefrontedmeatohaboldanddirectgaze.
“Well,andyouwantyourfortuold?”shesaid,inavoiceasdecidedasherglance,asharshasherfeatures.
“Idon’tcareaboutit,mother;youmaypleaseyourself:butIoughttowarnyou,Ihavenofaith.”
“It’slikeyourimpudeosayso:Iexpecteditofyou;Ihearditinyourstepasyoucrossedthethreshold.”
“Didyou?You’veaquickear.”
“Ihave;andaquickeyeandaquickbrain.”
“Youhemallinyourtrade.”
“Ido;especiallywheomerslikeyoutodealwith.Whydon’tyoutremble?”
“I’mnotcold.”
“Whydon’tyouturnpale?”
“Iamnotsick.”
“Whydon’tyousultmyart?”
“I’mnotsilly.”
Theolde“nichered”alaughunderherboandbandage;shetheashortblackpipe,andlightingitbegantosmoke.Havingindulgedawhileinthissedative,sheraisedherbentbody,tookthepipefromherlips,andwhilegazingsteadilyatthefire,saidverydeliberately—“Youarecold;youaresidyouaresilly.”
“Proveit,”Irejoined.
“Iwill,infewwords.Youarecold,becauseyouarealone:notactstrikesthefirefromyouthatisinyou.Youaresick;becausethebestoffeelings,thehighestandthesweetestgiventoman,keepsfarawayfromyou.Youaresilly,because,sufferasyoumay,youwillnotbeittoapproaorwillyoustiroomeetitwhereitwaitsyou.”
Sheagainputhershortblackpipetoherlips,andrenewedhersmokingwithvigour.
“Youmightsayallthattoalmostanyonewhoyouknewlivedasasolitarydepeihouse.”
“Imightsayittoalmostawoulditbetrueofalmostanyone?”
“Inmycircumstances.”
“Yes;justso,inyourcircumstances:butfiherpreciselyplacedasyouare.”
“Itwouldbeeasytofindyouthousands.”
“Youcouldscarcelyfindmeone.Ifyouk,youarepeculiarlysituated:verynearhappiness;yes,withinreachofit.Thematerialsareallprepared;thereonlywantsamovementtobihem.celaidthemsomeart;letthembeonceapproachedandblissresults.”
“Idon’tuandenigmas.Inevercouldguessariddleinmylife.”
“Ifyouwishmetospeakmoreplainly,showmeyourpalm.”
“AndImustcrossitwithsilver,Isuppose?”
“Tobesure.”
Igaveherashilling:sheputitintoanoldstog-footwhichshetookoutofherpocket,andhaviroundaur,shetoldmetoholdoutmyhand.Idid.Sheachedherfacetothepalm,andporedoveritwithouttougit.
“Itistoofine,”saidshe.“Imakenothingofsuchahandasthat;almostwithoutlines:besides,whatisinapalm?Destinyisnotwrittenthere.”
“Ibelieveyou,”saidI.
“No,”shetinued,“itisinthefatheforehead,abouttheeyes,inthelihemouth.Kneel,andliftupyourhead.”
“Ah!nowyouareingtoreality,”Isaid,asIobeyedher.“Ishallbegintoputsomefaithinyoupresently.”
Ikwithinhalfayardofher.Shestirredthefire,sothatarippleoflightbrokefromthedisturbedcoal:theglare,however,asshesat,onlythrewherfatodeepershadow:miillumined.
“Iwohwhatfeelingsyoucametometo-night,”shesaid,whenshehadexaminedmeawhile.“Iwonderwhatthoughtsarebusyinyourheartduringallthehoursyousitinyonderroomwiththefinepeopleflittingbeforeyoulikeshapesinamagitern:justaslittlesympathetiunionpassiweenyouandthemasiftheywerereallymereshadowsofhumanforms,andnottheactualsubstance.”
“Ifeeltiredoften,sleepysometimes,butseldomsad.”
“Thenyouhavesomesecrethopetobuoyyouupandpleaseyouwithwhispersofthefuture?”
“NotI.TheutmostIhopeis,tosavemoneyenoughoutofmyearningstosetupasedayinalittlehouserentedbymyself.”
“Ameannutrimentforthespirittoexiston:andsittinginthatwindow-seat(youseeIknowyourhabits)—”
“Youhavelearhemfromtheservants.”
“Ah!youthinkyourselfsharp.Well,perhapsIhave:tospeaktruth,Ihaveanacquaintahohem,Mrs.Poole—”
Istartedtomyfeetwhehename.
“Youhave—haveyou?”thoughtI;“thereisdiablerieinthebusinessafterall,then!”
“Don’tbealarmed,”tihestrangebeing;“she’sasafehandisMrs.Poole:closeandquiet;anyonemayreposefidenher.But,asIwassaying:sittinginthatwindow-seat,doyouthinkofnothingbutyourfutureschool?Haveyouiinanyofthepanywhooccupythesofasandchairsbeforeyou?Istherenotonefaceyoustudy?onefigurewhosemovementsyoufollowwithatleastcuriosity?”
“Iliketoobserveallthefadallthefigures.”
“Butdoyouneversingleonefromtherest—oritmaybe,two?”
“Idofrequently;wheuresorlooksofapairseemtellingatale:itamusesmetowatchthem.”
“Whattaledoyoulikebesttohear?”
“Oh,Ihavenotmuchchoice!Theygenerallyrunonthesametheme—courtship;andpromisetoendinthesamecatastrophe—marriage.”
“Anddoyoulikethatmonotonoustheme?”
“Positively,Idon’tcareaboutit:itisnothingtome.”
“Nothingtoyou?Whenalady,youngandfulloflifeah,charmingwithbeautyandehthegiftsofrankandfortusandsmilesintheeyesofagentlemanyou—”
“Iwhat?”
“Youknoerhapsthinkwellof.”
“Idon’tknowthegentlemenhere.Ihavescarcelyintergedasyllablewithohem;andastothinkingwellofthem,Isidersomerespectable,andstately,andmiddle-aged,andothersyoung,dashing,handsome,andlively:butcertainlytheyareallatlibertytobetherecipientsofwhosesmilestheyplease,withoutmyfeelingdisposedtosiderthetransaofanymomenttome.”
“Youdon’tknowthegentlemenhere?Youhavenotexgedasyllablewithohem?Willyousaythatofthemasterofthehouse!”
“Heisnotathome.”
“Aprofoundremark!Amostingeniousquibble!HewenttoMillcotethism,andwillbebackhereto-nightorto-morrow:doesthatcircumstanceexcludehimfromthelistofyouracquaintance—blothim,asitwere,outofexistence?”
“No;butIscarcelyseewhatMr.Rochesterhastodowiththethemeyouhadintroduced.”
“Iwastalkingofladiessmilingintheeyesofgentlemen;andoflatesomanysmileshavebeeoMr.Rochester’seyesthattheyoverflowliketwocupsfilledabovethebrim:haveyouneverremarkedthat?”
“Mr.Rochesterhasarighttoenjoythesocietyofhisguests.”
“ionabouthisright:buthaveyouneverobservedthat,ofallthetalestoldhereaboutmatrimony,Mr.Rochesterhasbeenfavouredwiththemostlivelyatinuous?”
“Theeagernessofalistenerquisthetongueofanarrator.”Isaidthisrathertomyselfthantothegipsy,whosestraalk,voice,manner,hadbythistimeedmeinakindofdream.OneuedsentencecamefromherlipsafteraillIgotinvolvedinawebofmystification;andwonderedwhatunseenspirithadbeensittingforweeksbymyheartwatgitswsandtakingrecordofeverypulse.
“Eagernessofalistener!”repeatedshe:“yes;Mr.Rochesterhassatbythehour,hisearinedtothefasatinglipsthattooksuchdelightiaskofunig;andMr.Rochesterwassowillingtoreceiveandlookedsogratefulforthepastimegivenhim;youhavenoticedthis?”
“Grateful!Iemberdeteggratitudeinhisface.”
“Deteg!Youhaveanalysed,then.Andwhatdidyoudetect,ifnotgratitude?”
Isaidnothing.
“Youhaveseenlove:haveyounot?—and,lookingforward,youhaveseenhimmarried,andbeheldhisbridehappy?”
“Humph!ly.Yourwitch’sskillisratheratfaultsometimes.”
“Whatthedevilhaveyouseen,then?”
“Nevermind:Icameheretoinquire,nottofess.IsitknownthatMr.Rochesteristobemarried?”
“Yes;andtothebeautifulMissIngram.”
“Shortly?”
“Appearanceswouldwarrantthatclusion:and,nodoubt(though,withanaudacitythatwantschastisingoutofyou,youseemtoquestionit),theywillbeasuperlativelyhappypair.Hemustlovesuchahandsome,ty,aplishedlady;andprobablysheloveshim,or,ifnothisperson,atleasthispurse.IknowshesiderstheRochesterestateeligibletothelastdegree;though(Godpardooldhersomethingonthatpointaboutanhowhichmadeherlookwrave:theersofhermouthfellhalfaninch.Iwouldadviseherblackavicedsuitortolookout:ifanotheres,withalongerorclearerrent-roll,—he’sdished—”
“But,mother,IdidnotetohearMr.Rochester’sfortune:Icametohearmyown;andyouhavetoldmenothingofit.”
“Yourfortuneisyetdoubtful:whenIexaminedyourfaetraittradictedanother.cehasmetedyouameasureofhappihatIknow.IkbeforeIcameherethisevening.Shehaslaiditcarefullyononesideforyou.Isawherdoit.Itdependsonyourselftostretchoutyourhand,andtakeitup:butwhetheryouwilldoso,istheproblemIstudy.Kneelagainontherug.”
“Don’tkeepmelong;thefirescorchesme.”
Ik.Shedidnotstooptowardsme,butonlygazed,leaningbaherchair.Shebeganmuttering,—
“Theflameflickersiheeyeshineslikedew;itlookssoftandfulloffeeling;itsmilesatmyjargon:itissusceptible;impressionfollowsimpressihitsclearsphere;whereitceasestosmile,itissad;anunsciouslassitudeweighsonthelid:thatsignifiesmelancholyresultingfromloneliness.Itturnsfromme;itwillnotsufferfurtherscrutiny;itseemstodeny,byamogglahetruthofthediscoveriesIhavealreadymade,—todisownthechargebothofsensibilityandchagrin:itsprideandreserveonlyfirmmeinmyopinion.Theeyeisfavourable.
“Astothemouth,itdelightsattimesinlaughter;itisdisposedtoimpartallthatthebrainceives;thoughIdaresayitwouldbesilentonmuchtheheartexperiences.Mobileandflexible,itwaseobepressediernalsilenceofsolitude:itisamouthwhichshouldspeakmudsmileoften,andhavehumaionforitsinterlocutor.Thatfeaturetooispropitious.
“Iseeoafortunateissuebutinthebrow;andthatbrowprofessestosay,—‘Ilivealone,ifself-respedcircumstancesrequiremesotodo.Isellmysoultobuybliss.Ihaveaninwardtreasurebornwithme,whikeepmealiveifallextraneousdelightsshouldbewithheld,orofferedonlyatapriceIotaffive.’Theforeheaddeclares,‘Reasonsitsfirmandholdsthereins,andshewillhefeelingsburstawayandhurryhertowildchasms.Thepassionsmayragefuriously,liketrueheathens,astheyare;andthedesiresmayimagineallsortsofvainthings:butjudgmentshallstillhavethelastwordineveryargument,aingvoteineverydecision.Strongwihquake-shodfiremaypassby:butIshallfollowtheguidingofthatstillsmallvoicewhiterpretsthedictatesofsce.’
“Wellsaid,forehead;yourdeclarationshallberespected.Ihaveformedmyplans—rightplahem—andinthemIhaveatteheclaimsofsce,theselsofreason.Iknowhowsoonyouthwouldfadeandbloomperish,if,inthecupofblissoffered,butofshame,oroneflavourofremorseweredetected;andIdonotwantsacrifice,sorrow,dissolution—suotmytaste.Iwishtofoster,nottoblight—tratitude,notttearsofblood—no,norofbrine:myharvestmustbeinsmiles,inendearments,ihatwilldo.IthinkIraveinakindofexquisitedelirium.Ishouldwishnowtoprotractthismomentadinfinitum;butIdarenot.SofarIhavegovernedmyselfthhly.IhaveactedasIinwardlysworeIwouldact;butfurthermighttrymebeyondmystrength.Rise,MissEyre:leaveme;theplayisplayedout’.”
WherewasI?DidIwakeorsleep?HadIbeendreaming?DidIdreamstill?Theoldwoman’svoicehadged:herat,hergesture,andallwerefamiliartomeasmyownfaaglass—asthespeeyowntongue.Igotup,butdidnotgo.Ilooked;Istirredthefire,andIlookedagain:butshedrewherboandherbandagecloseraboutherfadagainbeetodepart.Theflameilluminatedherhandstretchedout:rousednow,andonthealertfordiscoveries,Iatoicedthathand.Itwasnomorethewitheredlimbofeldthanmyown;itwasaroundedsupplemember,withsmoothfingers,symmetricallyturned;abrflashedolefinger,andstoopingforward,Ilookedatit,andsawagemIhadseenahuimesbefainIlookedattheface;whichwasnolournedfromme—orary,thebowasdoffed,thebandagedisplaced,theheadadvanced.
“Well,Jane,doyouknowme?”askedthefamiliarvoice.
“Onlytakeofftheredcloak,sir,andthen—”
“Butthestringisinaknot—helpme.”
“Breakit,sir.”
“There,then—‘Off,yelendings!’”AndMr.Rochestersteppedoutofhisdisguise.
“Now,sir,whatastrangeidea!”
“Butwellcarriedout,eh?Don’tyouthinkso?”
“Withtheladiesyoumusthavemanagedwell.”
“Butnotwithyou?”
“Youdidnotactthecharacterofagipsywithme.”
“WhatcharacterdidIact?Myown?”
“No;someunatableone.Inshort,Ibelieveyouhavebeentryingtodrawmeout—orin;youhavebeentalkingomakemetalknonseisscarcelyfair,sir.”
“Doyiveme,Jane?”
“IottelltillIhavethoughtitallover.If,onrefle,IfindIhavefallenintoabsurdity,Ishalltrytiveyou;butitwasnht.”
“Oh,youhavebeenverycorrect—verycareful,verysensible.”
Ireflected,andthought,onthewhole,Ihad.Itwasafort;but,indeed,Ihadbeenonmyguardalmostfromthebeginningoftheinterview.SomethingofmasqueradeIsuspected.Iknewgipsiesandfortuellersdidnotexpressthemselvesasthisseemingoldwomanhadexpressedherself;besidesIhadnotedherfeignedvoice,heraocealherfeatures.ButmymindhadbeenrunningonGracePoole—thatlivingenigma,thatmysteryofmysteries,asIsideredher.IhadhoughtofMr.Rochester.
“Well,”saidhe,“whatareyoumusingabout?Whatdoesthatgravesmilesignify?”
“Wonderandself-gratulation,sir.Ihaveyourpermissioirenow,Isuppose?”
“No;stayamoment;andtellmewhatthepeopleinthedrawing-roomyonderaredoing.”
“Discussingthegipsy,Idaresay.”
“Sitdowmehearwhattheysaidaboutme.”
“Ihadbetternotstaylong,sir;itmustbeneareleveno’clock.Oh,areyouaware,Mr.Rochester,thatastrangerhasarrivedheresinceyouleftthism?”
“Astranger!—no;whoitbe?Iexpeoone;ishegone?”
“No;hesaidhehadknownyoulong,andthathecouldtakethelibertyofinstallinghimselfheretillyoureturned.”
“Thedevilhedid!Didhegivehisname?”
“HisnameisMason,sir;andheesfromtheWestIndies;fromSpanishTown,inJamaica,Ithink.”
Mr.Rochesterwasstandingnearme;hehadtakenmyhand,asiftoleadmetoachair.AsIspokehegavemywristavulsivegrip;thesmileonhislipsfroze:apparentlyaspasmcaughthisbreath.
“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hesaid,ioneonemightfancyaspeakingautomatontoenoussinglewords;“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hereiterated;aoverthesyllablesthreetimes,growing,iervalsofspeaking,whiterthanashes:hehardlyseemedtoknowwhathewasdoing.
“Doyoufeelill,sir?”Iinquired.
“Jane,I’vegotablow;I’vegotablow,Jane!”Hestaggered.
“Oh,leanonme,sir.”
“Jane,youofferedmeyourshoulderoncebefore;letmehaveitnow.”
“Yes,sir,yes;andmyarm.”
Hesatdown,andmademesitbesidehim.Holdingmyhandinbothhisown,hechafedit;gazingohesametime,withthemosttroubledanddrearylook.
“Mylittlefriend!”saidhe,“IwishIwereinaquietislandwithonlyyou;andtrouble,anddanger,andhideousrecollesremovedfromme.”
“Ihelpyou,sir?—I’dgivemylifetoserveyou.”
“Jane,ifaidiswanted,I’llseekitatyourhands;Ipromiseyouthat.”
“Thankyou,sir.Tellmewhattodo,—I’lltry,atleast,todoit.”
“Fetow,Jane,aglassofwinefromthedining-room:theywillbeatsupperthere;andtellmeifMasoniswiththem,andwhatheisdoing.”
Iwent.Ifoundallthepartyinthedining-roomatsupper,asMr.Rochesterhadsaid;theywereedattable,—thesupperwasarrahesideboard;eachhadtakenwhathechose,aoodabouthereandthereingroups,theirplatesandglassesintheirhands.Everyoneseemedinhighglee;laughterandversatieneralandanimated.Mr.Masonstoodhefire,talkingtoelandMrs.Dent,andappearedasmerryasanyofthem.Ifilledawine-glass(IsawMissIngramwatchmefrowninglyasIdidso:shethoughtIwastakingaliberty,Idaresay),aurhelibrary.
Mr.Rochester’sextremepallorhaddisappeared,andhelookedoncemorefirmandsterooktheglassfrommyhand.
“Hereistoyourhealth,ministrantspirit!”hesaid.Heswallowedthetentsaurome.“Whataretheydoing,Jane?”
“Laughingandtalking,sir.”
“Theydon’tlookgraveandmysterious,asiftheyhadheardsomethingstrange?”
“Notatall:theyarefullofjestsandgaiety.”
“AndMason?”
“Hewaslaughingtoo.”
“Ifallthesepeoplecameinabodyandspatatme,whatwouldyoudo,Jane?”
“Turoftheroom,sir,ifIcould.”
Hehalfsmiled.“ButifIweretogotothem,andtheyonlylookedatmecoldly,andwhisperedsneeringlyamongsteachother,andthendroppedoffameonebyone,whatthen?Wouldyougowiththem?”
“Iratherthinknot,sir:Ishouldhavemorepleasureinstayingwithyou.”
“Toe?”
“Yes,sir,tofortyou,aswellasIcould.”
“Andiftheylaidyouunderabanforadheringtome?”
“I,probably,shouldknownothingabouttheirban;andifIdid,Ishouldothingaboutit.”
“Then,youcoulddaresureformysake?”
“Icoulddareitforthesakeofanyfriendwhodeservedmyadherence;asyou,Iamsure,do.”
“Gobaowintotheroom;stepquietlyuptoMason,andwhisperihatMr.Rochesteriseandwishestoseehim:showhimihenleaveme.”
“Yes,sir.”
Ididhisbehest.ThepanyallstaredatmeasIpassedstraightamongthem.IsoughtMr.Mason,deliveredthemessage,andprecededhimfromtheroom:Iusheredhimintothelibrary,andtheupstairs.
Atalatehour,afterIhadbeeninbedsometime,Iheardthevisitorsrepairtotheirchambers:IdistinguishedMr.Rochester’svoidheardhimsay,“Thisway,Mason;thisisyourroom.”
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Istoodontherugandwarmedmyhands,whichwererathercoldwithsittingatadistanthedrawing-roomfire.IfeltnowasposedaseverIdidinmylife:therewasnothingihegipsy’sappeararoubleone’scalm.Sheshutherbookandslowlylookedup;herhat-brimpartiallyshadedherface,yetIcouldsee,assheraisedit,thatitwasastrangeolookedallbrownandblack:elf-locksbristledoutfrombehawhitebandwhichpassedunderher,andcamehalfoverhercheeks,orratherjaws:hereyefrontedmeatohaboldanddirectgaze.
“Well,andyouwantyourfortuold?”shesaid,inavoiceasdecidedasherglance,asharshasherfeatures.
“Idon’tcareaboutit,mother;youmaypleaseyourself:butIoughttowarnyou,Ihavenofaith.”
“It’slikeyourimpudeosayso:Iexpecteditofyou;Ihearditinyourstepasyoucrossedthethreshold.”
“Didyou?You’veaquickear.”
“Ihave;andaquickeyeandaquickbrain.”
“Youhemallinyourtrade.”
“Ido;especiallywheomerslikeyoutodealwith.Whydon’tyoutremble?”
“I’mnotcold.”
“Whydon’tyouturnpale?”
“Iamnotsick.”
“Whydon’tyousultmyart?”
“I’mnotsilly.”
Theolde“nichered”alaughunderherboandbandage;shetheashortblackpipe,andlightingitbegantosmoke.Havingindulgedawhileinthissedative,sheraisedherbentbody,tookthepipefromherlips,andwhilegazingsteadilyatthefire,saidverydeliberately—“Youarecold;youaresidyouaresilly.”
“Proveit,”Irejoined.
“Iwill,infewwords.Youarecold,becauseyouarealone:notactstrikesthefirefromyouthatisinyou.Youaresick;becausethebestoffeelings,thehighestandthesweetestgiventoman,keepsfarawayfromyou.Youaresilly,because,sufferasyoumay,youwillnotbeittoapproaorwillyoustiroomeetitwhereitwaitsyou.”
Sheagainputhershortblackpipetoherlips,andrenewedhersmokingwithvigour.
“Youmightsayallthattoalmostanyonewhoyouknewlivedasasolitarydepeihouse.”
“Imightsayittoalmostawoulditbetrueofalmostanyone?”
“Inmycircumstances.”
“Yes;justso,inyourcircumstances:butfiherpreciselyplacedasyouare.”
“Itwouldbeeasytofindyouthousands.”
“Youcouldscarcelyfindmeone.Ifyouk,youarepeculiarlysituated:verynearhappiness;yes,withinreachofit.Thematerialsareallprepared;thereonlywantsamovementtobihem.celaidthemsomeart;letthembeonceapproachedandblissresults.”
“Idon’tuandenigmas.Inevercouldguessariddleinmylife.”
“Ifyouwishmetospeakmoreplainly,showmeyourpalm.”
“AndImustcrossitwithsilver,Isuppose?”
“Tobesure.”
Igaveherashilling:sheputitintoanoldstog-footwhichshetookoutofherpocket,andhaviroundaur,shetoldmetoholdoutmyhand.Idid.Sheachedherfacetothepalm,andporedoveritwithouttougit.
“Itistoofine,”saidshe.“Imakenothingofsuchahandasthat;almostwithoutlines:besides,whatisinapalm?Destinyisnotwrittenthere.”
“Ibelieveyou,”saidI.
“No,”shetinued,“itisinthefatheforehead,abouttheeyes,inthelihemouth.Kneel,andliftupyourhead.”
“Ah!nowyouareingtoreality,”Isaid,asIobeyedher.“Ishallbegintoputsomefaithinyoupresently.”
Ikwithinhalfayardofher.Shestirredthefire,sothatarippleoflightbrokefromthedisturbedcoal:theglare,however,asshesat,onlythrewherfatodeepershadow:miillumined.
“Iwohwhatfeelingsyoucametometo-night,”shesaid,whenshehadexaminedmeawhile.“Iwonderwhatthoughtsarebusyinyourheartduringallthehoursyousitinyonderroomwiththefinepeopleflittingbeforeyoulikeshapesinamagitern:justaslittlesympathetiunionpassiweenyouandthemasiftheywerereallymereshadowsofhumanforms,andnottheactualsubstance.”
“Ifeeltiredoften,sleepysometimes,butseldomsad.”
“Thenyouhavesomesecrethopetobuoyyouupandpleaseyouwithwhispersofthefuture?”
“NotI.TheutmostIhopeis,tosavemoneyenoughoutofmyearningstosetupasedayinalittlehouserentedbymyself.”
“Ameannutrimentforthespirittoexiston:andsittinginthatwindow-seat(youseeIknowyourhabits)—”
“Youhavelearhemfromtheservants.”
“Ah!youthinkyourselfsharp.Well,perhapsIhave:tospeaktruth,Ihaveanacquaintahohem,Mrs.Poole—”
Istartedtomyfeetwhehename.
“Youhave—haveyou?”thoughtI;“thereisdiablerieinthebusinessafterall,then!”
“Don’tbealarmed,”tihestrangebeing;“she’sasafehandisMrs.Poole:closeandquiet;anyonemayreposefidenher.But,asIwassaying:sittinginthatwindow-seat,doyouthinkofnothingbutyourfutureschool?Haveyouiinanyofthepanywhooccupythesofasandchairsbeforeyou?Istherenotonefaceyoustudy?onefigurewhosemovementsyoufollowwithatleastcuriosity?”
“Iliketoobserveallthefadallthefigures.”
“Butdoyouneversingleonefromtherest—oritmaybe,two?”
“Idofrequently;wheuresorlooksofapairseemtellingatale:itamusesmetowatchthem.”
“Whattaledoyoulikebesttohear?”
“Oh,Ihavenotmuchchoice!Theygenerallyrunonthesametheme—courtship;andpromisetoendinthesamecatastrophe—marriage.”
“Anddoyoulikethatmonotonoustheme?”
“Positively,Idon’tcareaboutit:itisnothingtome.”
“Nothingtoyou?Whenalady,youngandfulloflifeah,charmingwithbeautyandehthegiftsofrankandfortusandsmilesintheeyesofagentlemanyou—”
“Iwhat?”
“Youknoerhapsthinkwellof.”
“Idon’tknowthegentlemenhere.Ihavescarcelyintergedasyllablewithohem;andastothinkingwellofthem,Isidersomerespectable,andstately,andmiddle-aged,andothersyoung,dashing,handsome,andlively:butcertainlytheyareallatlibertytobetherecipientsofwhosesmilestheyplease,withoutmyfeelingdisposedtosiderthetransaofanymomenttome.”
“Youdon’tknowthegentlemenhere?Youhavenotexgedasyllablewithohem?Willyousaythatofthemasterofthehouse!”
“Heisnotathome.”
“Aprofoundremark!Amostingeniousquibble!HewenttoMillcotethism,andwillbebackhereto-nightorto-morrow:doesthatcircumstanceexcludehimfromthelistofyouracquaintance—blothim,asitwere,outofexistence?”
“No;butIscarcelyseewhatMr.Rochesterhastodowiththethemeyouhadintroduced.”
“Iwastalkingofladiessmilingintheeyesofgentlemen;andoflatesomanysmileshavebeeoMr.Rochester’seyesthattheyoverflowliketwocupsfilledabovethebrim:haveyouneverremarkedthat?”
“Mr.Rochesterhasarighttoenjoythesocietyofhisguests.”
“ionabouthisright:buthaveyouneverobservedthat,ofallthetalestoldhereaboutmatrimony,Mr.Rochesterhasbeenfavouredwiththemostlivelyatinuous?”
“Theeagernessofalistenerquisthetongueofanarrator.”Isaidthisrathertomyselfthantothegipsy,whosestraalk,voice,manner,hadbythistimeedmeinakindofdream.OneuedsentencecamefromherlipsafteraillIgotinvolvedinawebofmystification;andwonderedwhatunseenspirithadbeensittingforweeksbymyheartwatgitswsandtakingrecordofeverypulse.
“Eagernessofalistener!”repeatedshe:“yes;Mr.Rochesterhassatbythehour,hisearinedtothefasatinglipsthattooksuchdelightiaskofunig;andMr.Rochesterwassowillingtoreceiveandlookedsogratefulforthepastimegivenhim;youhavenoticedthis?”
“Grateful!Iemberdeteggratitudeinhisface.”
“Deteg!Youhaveanalysed,then.Andwhatdidyoudetect,ifnotgratitude?”
Isaidnothing.
“Youhaveseenlove:haveyounot?—and,lookingforward,youhaveseenhimmarried,andbeheldhisbridehappy?”
“Humph!ly.Yourwitch’sskillisratheratfaultsometimes.”
“Whatthedevilhaveyouseen,then?”
“Nevermind:Icameheretoinquire,nottofess.IsitknownthatMr.Rochesteristobemarried?”
“Yes;andtothebeautifulMissIngram.”
“Shortly?”
“Appearanceswouldwarrantthatclusion:and,nodoubt(though,withanaudacitythatwantschastisingoutofyou,youseemtoquestionit),theywillbeasuperlativelyhappypair.Hemustlovesuchahandsome,ty,aplishedlady;andprobablysheloveshim,or,ifnothisperson,atleasthispurse.IknowshesiderstheRochesterestateeligibletothelastdegree;though(Godpardooldhersomethingonthatpointaboutanhowhichmadeherlookwrave:theersofhermouthfellhalfaninch.Iwouldadviseherblackavicedsuitortolookout:ifanotheres,withalongerorclearerrent-roll,—he’sdished—”
“But,mother,IdidnotetohearMr.Rochester’sfortune:Icametohearmyown;andyouhavetoldmenothingofit.”
“Yourfortuneisyetdoubtful:whenIexaminedyourfaetraittradictedanother.cehasmetedyouameasureofhappihatIknow.IkbeforeIcameherethisevening.Shehaslaiditcarefullyononesideforyou.Isawherdoit.Itdependsonyourselftostretchoutyourhand,andtakeitup:butwhetheryouwilldoso,istheproblemIstudy.Kneelagainontherug.”
“Don’tkeepmelong;thefirescorchesme.”
Ik.Shedidnotstooptowardsme,butonlygazed,leaningbaherchair.Shebeganmuttering,—
“Theflameflickersiheeyeshineslikedew;itlookssoftandfulloffeeling;itsmilesatmyjargon:itissusceptible;impressionfollowsimpressihitsclearsphere;whereitceasestosmile,itissad;anunsciouslassitudeweighsonthelid:thatsignifiesmelancholyresultingfromloneliness.Itturnsfromme;itwillnotsufferfurtherscrutiny;itseemstodeny,byamogglahetruthofthediscoveriesIhavealreadymade,—todisownthechargebothofsensibilityandchagrin:itsprideandreserveonlyfirmmeinmyopinion.Theeyeisfavourable.
“Astothemouth,itdelightsattimesinlaughter;itisdisposedtoimpartallthatthebrainceives;thoughIdaresayitwouldbesilentonmuchtheheartexperiences.Mobileandflexible,itwaseobepressediernalsilenceofsolitude:itisamouthwhichshouldspeakmudsmileoften,andhavehumaionforitsinterlocutor.Thatfeaturetooispropitious.
“Iseeoafortunateissuebutinthebrow;andthatbrowprofessestosay,—‘Ilivealone,ifself-respedcircumstancesrequiremesotodo.Isellmysoultobuybliss.Ihaveaninwardtreasurebornwithme,whikeepmealiveifallextraneousdelightsshouldbewithheld,orofferedonlyatapriceIotaffive.’Theforeheaddeclares,‘Reasonsitsfirmandholdsthereins,andshewillhefeelingsburstawayandhurryhertowildchasms.Thepassionsmayragefuriously,liketrueheathens,astheyare;andthedesiresmayimagineallsortsofvainthings:butjudgmentshallstillhavethelastwordineveryargument,aingvoteineverydecision.Strongwihquake-shodfiremaypassby:butIshallfollowtheguidingofthatstillsmallvoicewhiterpretsthedictatesofsce.’
“Wellsaid,forehead;yourdeclarationshallberespected.Ihaveformedmyplans—rightplahem—andinthemIhaveatteheclaimsofsce,theselsofreason.Iknowhowsoonyouthwouldfadeandbloomperish,if,inthecupofblissoffered,butofshame,oroneflavourofremorseweredetected;andIdonotwantsacrifice,sorrow,dissolution—suotmytaste.Iwishtofoster,nottoblight—tratitude,notttearsofblood—no,norofbrine:myharvestmustbeinsmiles,inendearments,ihatwilldo.IthinkIraveinakindofexquisitedelirium.Ishouldwishnowtoprotractthismomentadinfinitum;butIdarenot.SofarIhavegovernedmyselfthhly.IhaveactedasIinwardlysworeIwouldact;butfurthermighttrymebeyondmystrength.Rise,MissEyre:leaveme;theplayisplayedout’.”
WherewasI?DidIwakeorsleep?HadIbeendreaming?DidIdreamstill?Theoldwoman’svoicehadged:herat,hergesture,andallwerefamiliartomeasmyownfaaglass—asthespeeyowntongue.Igotup,butdidnotgo.Ilooked;Istirredthefire,andIlookedagain:butshedrewherboandherbandagecloseraboutherfadagainbeetodepart.Theflameilluminatedherhandstretchedout:rousednow,andonthealertfordiscoveries,Iatoicedthathand.Itwasnomorethewitheredlimbofeldthanmyown;itwasaroundedsupplemember,withsmoothfingers,symmetricallyturned;abrflashedolefinger,andstoopingforward,Ilookedatit,andsawagemIhadseenahuimesbefainIlookedattheface;whichwasnolournedfromme—orary,thebowasdoffed,thebandagedisplaced,theheadadvanced.
“Well,Jane,doyouknowme?”askedthefamiliarvoice.
“Onlytakeofftheredcloak,sir,andthen—”
“Butthestringisinaknot—helpme.”
“Breakit,sir.”
“There,then—‘Off,yelendings!’”AndMr.Rochestersteppedoutofhisdisguise.
“Now,sir,whatastrangeidea!”
“Butwellcarriedout,eh?Don’tyouthinkso?”
“Withtheladiesyoumusthavemanagedwell.”
“Butnotwithyou?”
“Youdidnotactthecharacterofagipsywithme.”
“WhatcharacterdidIact?Myown?”
“No;someunatableone.Inshort,Ibelieveyouhavebeentryingtodrawmeout—orin;youhavebeentalkingomakemetalknonseisscarcelyfair,sir.”
“Doyiveme,Jane?”
“IottelltillIhavethoughtitallover.If,onrefle,IfindIhavefallenintoabsurdity,Ishalltrytiveyou;butitwasnht.”
“Oh,youhavebeenverycorrect—verycareful,verysensible.”
Ireflected,andthought,onthewhole,Ihad.Itwasafort;but,indeed,Ihadbeenonmyguardalmostfromthebeginningoftheinterview.SomethingofmasqueradeIsuspected.Iknewgipsiesandfortuellersdidnotexpressthemselvesasthisseemingoldwomanhadexpressedherself;besidesIhadnotedherfeignedvoice,heraocealherfeatures.ButmymindhadbeenrunningonGracePoole—thatlivingenigma,thatmysteryofmysteries,asIsideredher.IhadhoughtofMr.Rochester.
“Well,”saidhe,“whatareyoumusingabout?Whatdoesthatgravesmilesignify?”
“Wonderandself-gratulation,sir.Ihaveyourpermissioirenow,Isuppose?”
“No;stayamoment;andtellmewhatthepeopleinthedrawing-roomyonderaredoing.”
“Discussingthegipsy,Idaresay.”
“Sitdowmehearwhattheysaidaboutme.”
“Ihadbetternotstaylong,sir;itmustbeneareleveno’clock.Oh,areyouaware,Mr.Rochester,thatastrangerhasarrivedheresinceyouleftthism?”
“Astranger!—no;whoitbe?Iexpeoone;ishegone?”
“No;hesaidhehadknownyoulong,andthathecouldtakethelibertyofinstallinghimselfheretillyoureturned.”
“Thedevilhedid!Didhegivehisname?”
“HisnameisMason,sir;andheesfromtheWestIndies;fromSpanishTown,inJamaica,Ithink.”
Mr.Rochesterwasstandingnearme;hehadtakenmyhand,asiftoleadmetoachair.AsIspokehegavemywristavulsivegrip;thesmileonhislipsfroze:apparentlyaspasmcaughthisbreath.
“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hesaid,ioneonemightfancyaspeakingautomatontoenoussinglewords;“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hereiterated;aoverthesyllablesthreetimes,growing,iervalsofspeaking,whiterthanashes:hehardlyseemedtoknowwhathewasdoing.
“Doyoufeelill,sir?”Iinquired.
“Jane,I’vegotablow;I’vegotablow,Jane!”Hestaggered.
“Oh,leanonme,sir.”
“Jane,youofferedmeyourshoulderoncebefore;letmehaveitnow.”
“Yes,sir,yes;andmyarm.”
Hesatdown,andmademesitbesidehim.Holdingmyhandinbothhisown,hechafedit;gazingohesametime,withthemosttroubledanddrearylook.
“Mylittlefriend!”saidhe,“IwishIwereinaquietislandwithonlyyou;andtrouble,anddanger,andhideousrecollesremovedfromme.”
“Ihelpyou,sir?—I’dgivemylifetoserveyou.”
“Jane,ifaidiswanted,I’llseekitatyourhands;Ipromiseyouthat.”
“Thankyou,sir.Tellmewhattodo,—I’lltry,atleast,todoit.”
“Fetow,Jane,aglassofwinefromthedining-room:theywillbeatsupperthere;andtellmeifMasoniswiththem,andwhatheisdoing.”
Iwent.Ifoundallthepartyinthedining-roomatsupper,asMr.Rochesterhadsaid;theywereedattable,—thesupperwasarrahesideboard;eachhadtakenwhathechose,aoodabouthereandthereingroups,theirplatesandglassesintheirhands.Everyoneseemedinhighglee;laughterandversatieneralandanimated.Mr.Masonstoodhefire,talkingtoelandMrs.Dent,andappearedasmerryasanyofthem.Ifilledawine-glass(IsawMissIngramwatchmefrowninglyasIdidso:shethoughtIwastakingaliberty,Idaresay),aurhelibrary.
Mr.Rochester’sextremepallorhaddisappeared,andhelookedoncemorefirmandsterooktheglassfrommyhand.
“Hereistoyourhealth,ministrantspirit!”hesaid.Heswallowedthetentsaurome.“Whataretheydoing,Jane?”
“Laughingandtalking,sir.”
“Theydon’tlookgraveandmysterious,asiftheyhadheardsomethingstrange?”
“Notatall:theyarefullofjestsandgaiety.”
“AndMason?”
“Hewaslaughingtoo.”
“Ifallthesepeoplecameinabodyandspatatme,whatwouldyoudo,Jane?”
“Turoftheroom,sir,ifIcould.”
Hehalfsmiled.“ButifIweretogotothem,andtheyonlylookedatmecoldly,andwhisperedsneeringlyamongsteachother,andthendroppedoffameonebyone,whatthen?Wouldyougowiththem?”
“Iratherthinknot,sir:Ishouldhavemorepleasureinstayingwithyou.”
“Toe?”
“Yes,sir,tofortyou,aswellasIcould.”
“Andiftheylaidyouunderabanforadheringtome?”
“I,probably,shouldknownothingabouttheirban;andifIdid,Ishouldothingaboutit.”
“Then,youcoulddaresureformysake?”
“Icoulddareitforthesakeofanyfriendwhodeservedmyadherence;asyou,Iamsure,do.”
“Gobaowintotheroom;stepquietlyuptoMason,andwhisperihatMr.Rochesteriseandwishestoseehim:showhimihenleaveme.”
“Yes,sir.”
Ididhisbehest.ThepanyallstaredatmeasIpassedstraightamongthem.IsoughtMr.Mason,deliveredthemessage,andprecededhimfromtheroom:Iusheredhimintothelibrary,andtheupstairs.
Atalatehour,afterIhadbeeninbedsometime,Iheardthevisitorsrepairtotheirchambers:IdistinguishedMr.Rochester’svoidheardhimsay,“Thisway,Mason;thisisyourroom.”
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