Chapter 21
Presesarestrahings!andsoaresympathies;andsns;ahreebinedmakeoerytowhichhumanityhasfoundthekey.Ineverlaughedatpresesinmylife,becauseIhavehadstrangeonesofmyown.Sympathies,Ibelieve,exist(forinstaweenfar-distant,long-absent,whollyestrangedrelativesasserting,notwithstandingtheiralienatioyofthesourcetowhicheachtraceshisin)whosewsbafflemortalprehension.Andsigns,fhtweknow,maybebutthesympathiesofNaturewithman.
WhenIwasalittlegirl,onlysixyearsold,IonenightheardBessieLeavensaytoMarthaAbbotthatshehadbeendreamingaboutalittlechild;andthattodreamofchildrenwasasuresignoftrouble,eithertoone’sselforone’skin.Thesayingmighthavewornoutofmymemory,hadnotacircumstanceimmediatelyfollowedwhichservedindeliblytofixitthere.ThedayBessiewassentforhometothedeathbedofherlittlesister.
OflateIhadoftenrecalledthissayingandthisi;fthepastweekscarcelyanighthadgoneovermycouchthathadnhtwithitadreamofaninfant,whietimeshushedinmyarms,sometimesdandledonmyknee,sometimeswatchedplayingwithdaisiesonalawn,ain,dabblingitshandsinrunningwater.Itwasawailingchildthisnight,andalaughihe:nowitledclosetome,andnowitranfromme;butwhatevermoodtheapparitionevinced,whateveraspectitwore,itfailednotforsevensuccessivenightstomeetmethemomeeredthelandofslumber.
Ididnotlikethisiterationofohisstrangerecurrenage,andIgrewnervousasbedtimeapproachedandthehourofthevisiondrewnear.Itwasfrompanionshipwiththisbaby-phantomIhadbeenrousedonthatmoonlightnightwhehecry;anditwasoernoonofthedayfollowingIwassummoneddownstairsbyamessagethatsomeoedmeinMrs.Fairfax’sroom.Onrepairingthither,Ifoundamanwaitingforme,havingtheappearanceofagentleman’sservant:hewasdressedindeepm,aheheldinhishandwassurrouhacrapeband.
“Idaresayyouhardlyrememberme,Miss,”hesaid,risingasIentered;“butmynameisLeaven:IlivedanwithMrs.Reedwhenyateshead,eightornineyearssindIlivetherestill.”
“Oh,Robert!howdoyoudo?Irememberyouverywell:youusedtogivemearidesometimesonMissGeiana’sbaypony.AndhowisBessie?YouaremarriedtoBessie?”
“Yes,Miss:mywifeisveryhearty,thankyou;shebroughtmeatleoneabouttwomonthssince—wehavethreenow—andbothmotherandchildarethriving.”
“Ahefamilywellatthehouse,Robert?”
“IamsorryI’tgiveyoubetternewsofthem,Miss:theyareverybadlyatpresent—irouble.”
“Ihopenooneisdead,”Isaid,glangathisblackdress.Hetoolookeddownatthecraperoundhishatandreplied—
“Mr.Johndiedyesterdaywasaweek,athischambersinLondon.”
“Mr.John?”
“Yes.”
“Andhowdoeshismotherbearit?”
“Why,yousee,MissEyre,itisnotaishap:hislifehasbeenverywild:theselastthreeyearshegavehimselfupteways,andhisdeathwasshog.”
“IheardfromBessiehewasnotdoingwell.”
“Doingwell!Hecouldnotdoworse:heruinedhishealthandhisestateamongsttheworstmenandtheworstwomeiandintojail:hismotherhelpedhimouttwice,butassoonashewasfreehereturohisoldpanionsandhabits.Hisheadwasn:theknaveshelivedamongstfooledhimbeyondanythingIeverheard.HecamedowntoGatesheadaboutthreeweeksagoandwantedmissistogiveupalltohim.Missisrefused:hermeanshavelongbeenmuchreducedbyhisextravagance;sohewentbackagain,anewswasthathewasdead.Howhedied,Godknows!—theysayhekilledhimself.”
Iwassilent:thethingswerefrightful.RobertLeavenresumed—
“Missishadbeenoutofhealthherselfforsometime:shehadgotverystout,butwasnwithit;andthelossofmoneyandfearofpovertywerequitebreakingherdown.TheinformationaboutMr.Johhandthemannerofitcametoosuddenly:itbroughtonastroke.Shewasthreedayswithoutspeaking;butlastTuesdaysheseemedratherbetter:sheappearedasifshewaosaysomething,amakingsignstomywifeandmumbling.Itwasoerdaym,however,thatBessieuoodsheronoungyourname;andatlastshemadeoutthewords,‘BringJaeEyre:Iwanttospeaktoher.’Bessieisnotsurewhethersheisinherrightmind,ormeansanythingbythewords;butshetoldMissReedandMissGeiana,andadvisedthemtosendforyou.Theyoungladiesputitoffatfirst;buttheirmrewsorestless,andsaid,‘Jane,Jane,’somanytimes,thatatlasttheysented.IleftGatesheadyesterday:andifyougetready,Miss,Ishouldliketotakeyoubackwithmeearlyto-morr.”
“Yes,Robert,Ishallbeready:itseemstomethatIoughttogo.”
“Ithinksotoo,Miss.Bessiesaidshewassureyouwouldnotrefuse:butIsupposeyouwillhavetoaskleavebeforeyougetoff?”
“Yes;andIwilldoitnow;”andhavingdirectedhimtotheservants’hall,andreendedhimtothecareofJohn’swife,aentionsofJohnhimself,Iwentinsearr.Rochester.
Hewasnotinanyofthelowerrooms;hewasnotintheyard,thestables,rounds.IaskedMrs.Fairfaxifshehadseenhim;—yes:shebelievedhelayingbilliardswithMissIngram.Tothebilliard-roomIhasteheclickofballsandthehumofvoicesresouhence;Mr.Rochester,MissIngram,thetwoMissesEshton,andtheiradmirers,wereallbusiedinthegame.Itrequiredsomecetodisturbsoiingaparty;myerrand,however,wasoneIcouldnotdefer,soIapproachedthemasterwherehestoodatMissIngram’sside.SheturnedasIdrewnear,andlookedatmehaughtily:hereyesseemedtodemand,“Whatthecreepiurewantnow?”andwhenIsaid,inalowvoice,“Mr.Rochester,”shemadeamovementasiftemptedtoordermeaway.Irememberherappearahemoment—itwasverygracefulariking:sheworeamrobeofsky-bluecrape;agauzyazurescarfwastwistedinherhair.Shehadbeenallanimationwiththegame,andirritatedpridedidnotlowertheexpressionhtylis.
“Doesthatpersonwantyou?”sheinquiredofMr.Rochester;andMr.Rochesterturoseewhothe“person”was.Hemadeacuriousgrimaeofhisstrangeandequivocaldemonstrations—threwdownhisdfollowedmefromtheroom.
“Well,Jane?”hesaid,asherestedhisbackagainsttheschoolroomdoor,whichhehadshut.
“Ifyouplease,sir,Iwantleaveofabsenceforaweekortwo.”
“Whattodo?—wheretogo?”
“Toseeasickladywhohassentforme.”
“Whatsicklady?—wheredoesshelive?”
“AtGateshead;in—shire.”
“-shire?Thatisahundredmilesoff!Whomayshebethatsendsforpeopletoseeherthatdistance?”
“HernameisReed,sir—Mrs.Reed.”
“ReedofGateshead?TherewasaReedofGateshead,amagistrate.”
“Itishiswidow,sir.”
“Andwhathaveyoutodowithher?Howdoyouknowher?”
“Mr.Reedwasmyuncle—mymother’sbrother.”
“Thedeucehewas!Youoldmethatbefore:youalwayssaidyouhadions.”
“wouldownme,sir.Mr.Reedisdead,andhiswifecastmeoff.”
“Why?”
“BecauseIoor,andburdensome,andshedislikedme.”
“ButReedleftchildren?—youmusthavecousins?SirGeeLynnwastalkingofaReedofGatesheadyesterday,who,hesaid,wasoheveriestrascalsontown;andIngramwasmentioningaGeiahesameplace,whowasmuchadmiredforherbeautyaseasonortwoagoinLondon.”
“JohnReedisdead,too,sir:heruinedhimselfandhalf-ruinedhisfamily,andissupposedtohaveittedsuicide.Thenewssoshockedhismotherthatitbroughtonanapoplecticattack.”
“Andwhatgoodyoudoher?Nonsense,Jane!Iwouldhinkofrunningahundredmilestoseeanoldladywhowill,perhaps,bedeadbeforeyoureachher:besides,yousayshecastyouoff.”
“Yes,sir,butthatislongago;andwhenhercircumstanceswereverydifferent:Icouldnotbeeasytoherwishesnow.”
“Howlongwillyoustay?”
“Asshortatimeaspossible,sir.”
“Promisemeonlytostayaweek—”
“Ihadbetternotpassmyword:Imightbeobligedtobreakit.”
“Atalleventsyouwilleback:youwillnotbeinduderatotakeupapermaresidehher?”
“Oh,no!Ishallcertaiurnifallbewell.”
“Andwhogoeswithyou?Youdon’ttravelahundredmilesalone.”
“No,sir,shehassentheran.”
“Apersorusted?”
“Yes,sir,hehaslivedtenyearsinthefamily.”
Mr.Rochestermeditated.“Whendoyouwishtogo?”
“Earlyto-morr,sir.”
“Well,youmusthavesomemoney;you’ttravelwithoutmoney,andIdaresayyouhavenotmuch:Ihavegivenyounosalaryyet.Howmuchhaveyouintheworld,Jane?”heasked,smiling.
Idrewoutmypurse;ameagrethingitwas.“Fiveshillings,sir.”Hetookthepurse,pouredthehoardintohispalm,andchuckledoveritasifitsstinessamusedhim.Soonheproducedhispocket-book:“Here,”saidhe,meawasfiftypounds,andheowedmebutfifteen.ItoldhimIhadnoge.
“Idon’twantge;youknowthat.Takeyes.”
Ideedacceptingmorethanwasmydue.Hescowledatfirst;then,asifrecollegsomething,hesaid—
“Right,right!Betternotgiveyouallnow:youwould,perhaps,stayawaythreemonthsifyouhadfiftypounds.Thereareten;isitnotplenty?”
“Yes,sir,butnowyouowemefive.”
“ebackforit,then;Iamyourbankerforfortypounds.”
“Mr.Rochester,ImayaswellmentionaterofbusioyouwhileIhavetheopportunity.”
“Matterofbusiness?Iamcurioustohearit.”
“Youhaveasgoodasinformedme,sir,thatyoingshortlytobemarried?”
“Yes;whatthen?”
“Inthatcase,sir,Adèleoughttogotoschool:Iamsureyouwillperceivetheyofit.”
“Togetheroutofmybride’sway,whomightotherwisewalkoverherrathertooemphatically?There’ssehesuggestion;notadoubtofit.Adèle,asyousay,mustgotoschool;andyou,ofcourse,mustmarchstraightto—thedevil?”
“Ihopenot,sir;butImustseekauationsomewhere.”
“Incourse!”heexclaimed,withatwangofvoidadistortiouresequallyfantastidludicrous.Helookedatmesomeminutes.
“AndoldMadamReed,ortheMisses,herdaughters,willbesolicitedbyyoutoseekaplace,Isuppose?”
“No,sir;Iamnotonsuchtermswithmyrelativesaswouldjustifymeinaskingfavoursofthem—butIshalladvertise.”
“YoushallthepyramidsofEgypt!”hegrowled.“Atyourperilyouadvertise!IwishIhadonlyofferedyouasninsteadoftenpounds.Givemebaepounds,Jane;I’veauseforit.”
“AndsohaveI,sir,”Ireturned,puttingmyhandsandmypursebehindme.“Icouldnotsparethemoneyonanyat.”
“Littleniggard!”saidhe,“refusingmeapeiaryrequest!Givemefivepounds,Jane.”
“Notfiveshillings,sir;norfivepence.”
“Justletmelookatthecash.”
“No,sir;youarenottobetrusted.”
“Jane!”
“Sir?”
“Promisemeohing.”
“I’llpromiseyouanything,sir,thatIthinkIamlikelytoperform.”
“Nottoadvertise:andtotrustthisquestofasituationtome.I’llfindyouoime.”
“Ishallbegladsotodo,sir,ifyou,inyourturn,willpromisethatIandAdèleshallbebothsafeoutofthehousebeforeyourbridee.”
“Verywell!verywell!I’llpledgemywordonit.Yougoto-morrow,then?”
“Yes,sir;early.”
“Shallyouedowntothedrawing-roomafterdinner?”
“No,sir,Imustprepareforthejourney.”
“ThenyouandImustbidgood-byeforalittlewhile?”
“Isupposeso,sir.”
“Andhowdopeopleperformthatceremony,Jaeachme;I’mnotquiteuptoit.”
“Theysay,Farewell,oranyotherformtheyprefer.”
“Thensayit.”
“Farewell,Mr.Rochester,forthepresent.”
“WhatmustIsay?”
“Thesame,ifyoulike,sir.”
“Farewell,MissEyre,forthepresent;isthatall?”
“Yes?”
“Itseemsstingy,tomynotions,anddry,andunfriendly.Ishouldlikesomethingelse:alittleadditiontotherite.Ifoneshookhands,forinstano—thatwouldnotteher.Soyou’lldonomorethansayFarewell,Jane?”
“Itisenough,sir:asmuchgood-willmaybeveyedinoywordasinmany.”
“Verylikely;butitisblankandcool—‘Farewell.’”
“Howlongishegoingtostandwithhisbackagainstthatdoor?”Iaskedmyself;“Iwanttoencemypag.”Thedinner-bellrang,andsuddenlyawayhebolted,withoutanothersyllable:Isawhimnomoreduringtheday,andwasoffbeforehehadriseninthem.
IreachedthelodgeatGatesheadaboutfiveo’clotheafternoonofthefirstofMay:Isteppedintherebefoinguptothehall.Itwasveryaheoralwindowswerehungwithlittlewhitecurtains;thefloorotless;thegrateandfire-ironswereburnishedbright,andthefireburntclear.Bessiesatonthehearth,nursingherlast-born,andRobertandhissisterplayedquietlyinaer.
“Blessyou!—Iknewyouwoulde!”exclaimedMrs.Leaven,asIentered.
“Yes,Bessie,”saidI,afterIhadkissedher;“andItrustIamnottoolate.HowisMrs.Reed?—Alivestill,Ihope.”
“Yes,sheisalive;andmoresensibleandcollectedthanshewas.Thedoctorsaysshemaylingeraweekortwoyet;buthehardlythinksshewillfinallyrecover.”
“Hasshementioely?”
“Shewastalkingofyouonlythism,andwishingyouwoulde,butsheissleepingnow,orwastenminutesago,whenIatthehouse.Shegenerallyliesinakindoflethargyalltheafternoon,andwakesupaboutsixorseven.Willyourestyourselfhereanhour,Miss,andthenIwillgoupwithyou?”
Roberthereentered,andBessielaidhersleepingchildinthecradleaowelehim:afterwardssheinsistedonmytakingoffmyboandhavingsometea;forshesaidIlookedpaleandtired.Iwasgladtoacceptherhospitality;andIsubmittedtoberelievedofmytravellinggarbjustaspassivelyasIusedtoletherundressmewhenachild.
OldtimescrowdedfastbaeasIwatchedherbustlingabout—settingoutthetea-traywithherbesta,cuttingbreadandbutter,toastingatea-cake,aweenwhiles,givinglittleRobertorJaneanoccasionaltaporpush,justassheusedtogivemeinformerdays.Bessiehadretainedherquicktemperaswellasherlightfootandgoodlooks.
Teaready,Iwasgoingtoapproachthetable;butshedesiredmetositstill,quiteinheroldperemptorytones.Imustbeservedatthefireside,shesaid;andsheplacedbeforemealittleroundstandwithmydaplateoftoast,absolutelyassheusedtoaodatemewithsomeprivatelypurloineddaintyonanurserychair:andIsmiledandobeyedherasinbygonedays.
ShewaoknowifIyatThornfieldHall,andwhatsortofapersoresswas;aoldhertherewasonlyamaster,whetherhewasaleman,andifIlikedhim.Itoldherheratheranuglyman,butquiteagentleman;andthathetreatedmekindly,andIwastent.Theontodescribetaypanythathadlatelybeenstayingatthehouse;andtothesedetailsBessielistehiheywerepreciselyofthekindsherelished.
Insuversationanhourwassoongone:Bessierestoredtomemybo,&d,apaniedbyher,Iquittedthelodgeforthehall.ItwasalsoapaniedbyherthatIhad,nearlynineyearsago,walkeddowhIwasnowasding.Onadark,misty,rawminJanuary,Ihadleftahostilerooferateateredheart—asenseofoutlawryandalmostofreprobation—toseekthechillyharbeofLowood:thatbournesofarawayandunexplored.Thesamehostileroofnowagainrosebeforeme:myprospectsweredoubtfulyet;andIhadyetanagheart.Istillfeltasawahefaceoftheearth;butIexperiencedfirmertrustinmyselfandmyownpowers,andlesswitheringdreadofoppression.Thegapingwoundofmywrongs,too,wasnowquitehealed;andtheflameofreseextinguished.
“Youshallgointothebreakfast-roomfirst,”saidBessie,assheprecededmethroughthehall;“theyoungladieswillbethere.”
InanothermomentIwaswithinthatapartment.TherewaseveryarticleoffurniturelookingjustasitdidonthemIwasfirstintrodur.Brocklehurst:theveryrughehadstooduponstillcoveredthehearth.Glangatthebookcases,IthoughtIcoulddistinguishthetwovolumesofBewick’sBritishBirdsoccupyingtheiroldplathethirdshelf,andGulliver’sTravelsandtheArabianNightsrangedjustabove.Theinanimateobjectswerenotged;butthelivingthingshadalteredpastreition.
Twoyoungladiesappearedbeforeme;oall,almostastallasMissIngram—verythintoo,withasallowfadseveremien.Therewassomethingascetiherlook,whichwasaugmeheextremeplainnessofastraight-skirted,black,stuffdress,astarchedlinencollar,hairbedawayfromthetemples,andthenun-likeorofastringofebonybeadsandacrucifix.ThisIfeltsurewasEliza,thoughIcouldtracelittleresemblaoherformerselfinthatelongatedandcolourlessvisage.
TheotherwasascertainlyGeiana:butnottheGeianaIremembered—theslimandfairy-likegirlofeleven.Thiswasafull-blown,veryplumpdamsel,fairaswaxwork,withhandsomeandregularfeatures,languishingblueeyes,andriedyellowhair.Thehueofherdresswasblacktoo;butitsfashionwassodifferentfromhersister’s—somuchmoreflowingandbeing—itlookedasstylishastheother’slookedpuritanical.
Ineachofthesisterstherewasoraitofthemother—andonlyohethinandpallidelderdaughterhadherparent’sgormeye:thebloomingandluxuriantyoungergirlhadhertourofjawand—perhapsalittlesoftened,butstillimpartinganindescribablehardotheteherwisesovoluptuousandbuxom.
Bothladies,asIadvanced,rosetowele,andbothaddressedmebythenameof“MissEyre.”Eliza’sgreetingwasdeliveredinashort,abruptvoice,withoutasmile;andthedownagain,fixedhereyesonthefire,aetme.Geianaaddedtoher“Howd’yedo?”severalonplacesaboutmyjourheweather,andsoon,utteredinratheradrawlingtone:andapaniedbysundryside-glahatmeasuredmefromheadtofoot—nowtraversingthefoldsofmydrabmerinopelisse,andnowlingeringontheplaintrimmingofmycottagebo.Youngladieshavearemarkablewayoflettingyouknowthattheythinkyoua“quiz”withoutactuallysayingthewords.Acertainsuperciliousnessoflook,essofmanner,nonchalaone,expressfullytheirsesonthepoint,withoutittingthembyanypositiverudenessinwordordeed.
Asneer,however,whethercovertoropen,hadnownolohatpowerovermeitoncepossessed:asIsatbetweenmycousins,IwassurprisedtofindhoweasyIfeltuhetotaloftheohesemi-sarcasticattentionsoftheother—Elizadidnotmortify,neianaruffleme.Thefactwas,Ihadotherthingstothinkabout;withifewmonthsfeelingshadbeenstirredinmesomuchmorepotentthananytheycouldraise—painsandpleasuressomuchmoreacuteandexquisitehadbeeedthananyitwasintheirpowertoinflictorbestow—thattheirairsgavemenoeitherfoodorbad.
“HowisMrs.Reed?”Iaskedsoon,lookingcalmlyatGeiana,whothoughtfittobridleatthedirectaddress,asifitwereanuedliberty.
“Mrs.Reed?Ah!mama,youmean;sheisextremelypoorly:Idoubtifyouseeherto-night.”
“If,”saidI,“youwouldjuststepupstairsandtellherIame,Ishouldbemuchobligedtoyou.”
Geianaalmoststarted,andsheopenedherblueeyeswildandwide.“Iknowshehadaparticularwishtoseeme,”Iadded,“andIwouldnotdeferattendingtoherdesirelohanisabsolutelynecessary.”
“Mamadislikesbeingdisturbedinanevening,”remarkedEliza.Isoonrose,quietlytookoffmyboandgloves,uninvited,andsaidIwouldjuststepouttoBessie—whowas,Idaredsay,i—andaskhertoascertaiherMrs.Reedwasdisposedtoreceivemeornotto-night.Iwent,andhavingfoundBessieachedheronmyerrand,Iproceededtotakefurthermeasures.Ithadheretoforebeenmyhabitalwaystoshrinkfrance:receivedasIhadbeento-day,Ishould,ayearago,haveresolvedtoquitGatesheadtheverym;now,itwasdisclosedtomeallatothatwouldbeafoolishplan.Ihadtakenajourneyofahundredmilestoseemyaunt,andImuststaywithhertillshewasbetter—ordead:asthters’prideorfolly,Imustputitononeside,makemyselfindepeofit.SoIaddressedthehousekeeper;askedhertoshowmearoom,toldherIshouldprobablybeavisitorhereforaweekortwo,hadmytrunkveyedtomychamber,andfolloweditthithermyself:ImetBessieonthelanding.
“Missisisawake,”saidshe;“Ihavetoldheryouarehere:eausseeifshewillknowyou.”
Ididobeguidedtothewell-knownroom,towhichIhadsooftenbeensummonedforchastisementorreprimandinformerdays.IhastenedbeforeBessie;Isoftlyopehedoor:ashadedlightstoodoable,foritwasingdark.Therewasthegreatfour-postbedwithamberhangingsasofold;therethetoilet-table,thearmchair,astool,atwhichIhadahuimesbeeeokoaskpardonforoffencesbymeunitted.Ilookedintoacertainernear,half-expegtoseetheslimoutlineofaoncedreadedswitchwhichusedtolurkthere,waitingtoleapoutimp-likeandlacemyquiveringpalmorshrinkingneck.Iapproachedthebed;Iopehecurtainsaoverthehigh-piledpillows.
WelldidIrememberMrs.Reed’sfadIeagerlysoughtthefamiliarimage.Itisahappythingthattimequellsthelongingsofvengeandhushesthepromptingseandaversion.Ihadleftthiswomaninbitternessandhate,andIcamebacktohernowwithnootheremotionthanasortofruthfreatsufferings,andastrongyearningtetandfiveallinjuries—tobereciledandclasphandsinamity.
Thewell-knowhere:sterlessasever—therewasthatpeculiareyewhiothingelt,andthesomewhatraised,imperious,despoticeyebrow.Howoftenhaditloweredonmemenadhate!andhowtherecolleofchildhood’sterrorsandsorrowsrevivedasItraceditsharshlinenow!Aoopeddownandkissedher:shelookedatme.
“IsthisJaneEyre?”shesaid.
“Yes,AuntReed.Howareyou,dearaunt?”
IhadoncevowedthatIwouldnevercallherauntagain:Ithoughtitnosintetahatvownow.Myfingershadfastenedonherhandwhichlayoutsidethesheet:hadshepressedminekindly,Ishouldatthatmomenthaveexperieruepleasure.Butunimpressiouresarenotsosoonsoftened,norarenaturalantipathiessoreadilyeradicated.Mrs.Reedtookherhandaway,and,turningherfaceratherfromme,sheremarkedthatthenightwaswarm.Againsheregardedmesoicily,Ifeltatoheropinionofme—herfeelingtowardsme—wasungedandungeable.Iknewbyherstonyeye—opaquetotenderness,indissolubletotears—thatshewasresolvedtosidermebadtothelast;becausetobelievemegoodwouldgivehernogenerouspleasure:onlyasenseofmortification.
Ifeltpain,andtheire;andtheadeterminationtosubdueher—tobehermistressinspitebothofhernatureandherwill.Mytearshadrisen,justasinchildhood:Iorderedthembacktotheirsource.Ibroughtachairtothebed-head:Isatdownandleanedoverthepillow.
“Yousentforme,”Isaid,“andIamhere;anditismyiiontostaytillIseehowyougeton.”
“Oh,ofcourse!Youhaveseenmydaughters?”
“Yes.”
“Well,youmaytellthemIwishyoutostaytillItalksomethingsoverwithyouIhaveonmymind:to-nightitistoolate,andIhaveadifficultyinrecallingthem.ButtherewassomethingIwishedtosay—letmesee—”
Thewanderinglookandgedutteraoldwhatwreckhadtakenplaheroncevigorousframe.Turnilessly,shedrewthebedclothesroundher;myelbow,restingonaerofthequilt,fixeditdown:shewasatonceirritated.
“Situp!”saidshe;“don’tanhholdihesfast.AreyouJaneEyre?”
“IamJaneEyre.”
“Ihavehadmoretroublewiththatchildthananyonewouldbelieve.Suchaburdeonmyhands—andsomuoyanceasshecausedme,dailyandhourly,withherinprehensibledisposition,andhersuddenstartsoftemper,andhertinual,unnaturalwatgsofone’smovements!Ideclareshetalkedtomeoncelikesomethingmad,orlikeafiend—nochildeverspokeorlookedasshedid;Iwasgladtogetherawayfromthehouse.WhatdidtheydowithheratLowood?Thefeverbrokeoutthere,andmanyofthepupilsdied.She,however,didnotdie:butIsaidshedid—Iwishshehaddied!”
“Astrangewish,Mrs.Reed;whydoyouhateherso?”
“Ihadadisliketohermotheralways;forshewasmyhusband’sonlysister,andagreatfavouritewithhim:heopposedthefamily’sdisowningherwhenshemadeherle;andwhennewscameofherdeath,heweptlikeasimpleton.Hewouldsendforthebaby;thoughIeedhimrathertoputitouttonurseandpayforitsmaintenance.IhateditthefirsttimeIsetmyeyesonit—asickly,whining,piningthing!Itwouldwailinitscradleallnightlong—notscreamiilylikeanyotherchild,butwhimperingandmoaning.Reedpitiedit;andheusedtoandnoticeitasifithadbeenhisown:more,ihanheevernoticedhisownatthatage.Hewouldtrytomakemychildrenfriendlytothelittlebeggar:thedarlingscould,andhewasangrywiththemwhentheyshowedtheirdislike.Inhislastillness,hehaditbroughttinuallytohisbedside;andbutanhourbeforehedied,heboundmebyvowtokeepthecreature.Iwouldassoonhavebeenchargederbratoutofaworkhouse:buthewasweak,naturallyweak.Johatallresemblehisfather,andIamgladofit:Johnislikemeandlikemybrothers—heisquiteaGibson.Oh,Iwishhewouldceasetormentihlettersformoney?Ihavenomoremoogivehim:wearegettingpoor.Imustsendawayhalftheservantsandshutuppartofthehouse;orletitoff.Ieversubmittodothat—yethowarewetogeton?Two-thirdsofmyinegoesinpayierestes.Johngamblesdreadfully,andalwaysloses—poorboy!Heisbesetbysharpers:Johnissunkanddegraded—hislookisfrightful—IfeelashamedforhimwhenIseehim.”
Shewasgettingmuchexcited.“IthinkIhadbetterleavehernow,”saidItoBessie松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
WhenIwasalittlegirl,onlysixyearsold,IonenightheardBessieLeavensaytoMarthaAbbotthatshehadbeendreamingaboutalittlechild;andthattodreamofchildrenwasasuresignoftrouble,eithertoone’sselforone’skin.Thesayingmighthavewornoutofmymemory,hadnotacircumstanceimmediatelyfollowedwhichservedindeliblytofixitthere.ThedayBessiewassentforhometothedeathbedofherlittlesister.
OflateIhadoftenrecalledthissayingandthisi;fthepastweekscarcelyanighthadgoneovermycouchthathadnhtwithitadreamofaninfant,whietimeshushedinmyarms,sometimesdandledonmyknee,sometimeswatchedplayingwithdaisiesonalawn,ain,dabblingitshandsinrunningwater.Itwasawailingchildthisnight,andalaughihe:nowitledclosetome,andnowitranfromme;butwhatevermoodtheapparitionevinced,whateveraspectitwore,itfailednotforsevensuccessivenightstomeetmethemomeeredthelandofslumber.
Ididnotlikethisiterationofohisstrangerecurrenage,andIgrewnervousasbedtimeapproachedandthehourofthevisiondrewnear.Itwasfrompanionshipwiththisbaby-phantomIhadbeenrousedonthatmoonlightnightwhehecry;anditwasoernoonofthedayfollowingIwassummoneddownstairsbyamessagethatsomeoedmeinMrs.Fairfax’sroom.Onrepairingthither,Ifoundamanwaitingforme,havingtheappearanceofagentleman’sservant:hewasdressedindeepm,aheheldinhishandwassurrouhacrapeband.
“Idaresayyouhardlyrememberme,Miss,”hesaid,risingasIentered;“butmynameisLeaven:IlivedanwithMrs.Reedwhenyateshead,eightornineyearssindIlivetherestill.”
“Oh,Robert!howdoyoudo?Irememberyouverywell:youusedtogivemearidesometimesonMissGeiana’sbaypony.AndhowisBessie?YouaremarriedtoBessie?”
“Yes,Miss:mywifeisveryhearty,thankyou;shebroughtmeatleoneabouttwomonthssince—wehavethreenow—andbothmotherandchildarethriving.”
“Ahefamilywellatthehouse,Robert?”
“IamsorryI’tgiveyoubetternewsofthem,Miss:theyareverybadlyatpresent—irouble.”
“Ihopenooneisdead,”Isaid,glangathisblackdress.Hetoolookeddownatthecraperoundhishatandreplied—
“Mr.Johndiedyesterdaywasaweek,athischambersinLondon.”
“Mr.John?”
“Yes.”
“Andhowdoeshismotherbearit?”
“Why,yousee,MissEyre,itisnotaishap:hislifehasbeenverywild:theselastthreeyearshegavehimselfupteways,andhisdeathwasshog.”
“IheardfromBessiehewasnotdoingwell.”
“Doingwell!Hecouldnotdoworse:heruinedhishealthandhisestateamongsttheworstmenandtheworstwomeiandintojail:hismotherhelpedhimouttwice,butassoonashewasfreehereturohisoldpanionsandhabits.Hisheadwasn:theknaveshelivedamongstfooledhimbeyondanythingIeverheard.HecamedowntoGatesheadaboutthreeweeksagoandwantedmissistogiveupalltohim.Missisrefused:hermeanshavelongbeenmuchreducedbyhisextravagance;sohewentbackagain,anewswasthathewasdead.Howhedied,Godknows!—theysayhekilledhimself.”
Iwassilent:thethingswerefrightful.RobertLeavenresumed—
“Missishadbeenoutofhealthherselfforsometime:shehadgotverystout,butwasnwithit;andthelossofmoneyandfearofpovertywerequitebreakingherdown.TheinformationaboutMr.Johhandthemannerofitcametoosuddenly:itbroughtonastroke.Shewasthreedayswithoutspeaking;butlastTuesdaysheseemedratherbetter:sheappearedasifshewaosaysomething,amakingsignstomywifeandmumbling.Itwasoerdaym,however,thatBessieuoodsheronoungyourname;andatlastshemadeoutthewords,‘BringJaeEyre:Iwanttospeaktoher.’Bessieisnotsurewhethersheisinherrightmind,ormeansanythingbythewords;butshetoldMissReedandMissGeiana,andadvisedthemtosendforyou.Theyoungladiesputitoffatfirst;buttheirmrewsorestless,andsaid,‘Jane,Jane,’somanytimes,thatatlasttheysented.IleftGatesheadyesterday:andifyougetready,Miss,Ishouldliketotakeyoubackwithmeearlyto-morr.”
“Yes,Robert,Ishallbeready:itseemstomethatIoughttogo.”
“Ithinksotoo,Miss.Bessiesaidshewassureyouwouldnotrefuse:butIsupposeyouwillhavetoaskleavebeforeyougetoff?”
“Yes;andIwilldoitnow;”andhavingdirectedhimtotheservants’hall,andreendedhimtothecareofJohn’swife,aentionsofJohnhimself,Iwentinsearr.Rochester.
Hewasnotinanyofthelowerrooms;hewasnotintheyard,thestables,rounds.IaskedMrs.Fairfaxifshehadseenhim;—yes:shebelievedhelayingbilliardswithMissIngram.Tothebilliard-roomIhasteheclickofballsandthehumofvoicesresouhence;Mr.Rochester,MissIngram,thetwoMissesEshton,andtheiradmirers,wereallbusiedinthegame.Itrequiredsomecetodisturbsoiingaparty;myerrand,however,wasoneIcouldnotdefer,soIapproachedthemasterwherehestoodatMissIngram’sside.SheturnedasIdrewnear,andlookedatmehaughtily:hereyesseemedtodemand,“Whatthecreepiurewantnow?”andwhenIsaid,inalowvoice,“Mr.Rochester,”shemadeamovementasiftemptedtoordermeaway.Irememberherappearahemoment—itwasverygracefulariking:sheworeamrobeofsky-bluecrape;agauzyazurescarfwastwistedinherhair.Shehadbeenallanimationwiththegame,andirritatedpridedidnotlowertheexpressionhtylis.
“Doesthatpersonwantyou?”sheinquiredofMr.Rochester;andMr.Rochesterturoseewhothe“person”was.Hemadeacuriousgrimaeofhisstrangeandequivocaldemonstrations—threwdownhisdfollowedmefromtheroom.
“Well,Jane?”hesaid,asherestedhisbackagainsttheschoolroomdoor,whichhehadshut.
“Ifyouplease,sir,Iwantleaveofabsenceforaweekortwo.”
“Whattodo?—wheretogo?”
“Toseeasickladywhohassentforme.”
“Whatsicklady?—wheredoesshelive?”
“AtGateshead;in—shire.”
“-shire?Thatisahundredmilesoff!Whomayshebethatsendsforpeopletoseeherthatdistance?”
“HernameisReed,sir—Mrs.Reed.”
“ReedofGateshead?TherewasaReedofGateshead,amagistrate.”
“Itishiswidow,sir.”
“Andwhathaveyoutodowithher?Howdoyouknowher?”
“Mr.Reedwasmyuncle—mymother’sbrother.”
“Thedeucehewas!Youoldmethatbefore:youalwayssaidyouhadions.”
“wouldownme,sir.Mr.Reedisdead,andhiswifecastmeoff.”
“Why?”
“BecauseIoor,andburdensome,andshedislikedme.”
“ButReedleftchildren?—youmusthavecousins?SirGeeLynnwastalkingofaReedofGatesheadyesterday,who,hesaid,wasoheveriestrascalsontown;andIngramwasmentioningaGeiahesameplace,whowasmuchadmiredforherbeautyaseasonortwoagoinLondon.”
“JohnReedisdead,too,sir:heruinedhimselfandhalf-ruinedhisfamily,andissupposedtohaveittedsuicide.Thenewssoshockedhismotherthatitbroughtonanapoplecticattack.”
“Andwhatgoodyoudoher?Nonsense,Jane!Iwouldhinkofrunningahundredmilestoseeanoldladywhowill,perhaps,bedeadbeforeyoureachher:besides,yousayshecastyouoff.”
“Yes,sir,butthatislongago;andwhenhercircumstanceswereverydifferent:Icouldnotbeeasytoherwishesnow.”
“Howlongwillyoustay?”
“Asshortatimeaspossible,sir.”
“Promisemeonlytostayaweek—”
“Ihadbetternotpassmyword:Imightbeobligedtobreakit.”
“Atalleventsyouwilleback:youwillnotbeinduderatotakeupapermaresidehher?”
“Oh,no!Ishallcertaiurnifallbewell.”
“Andwhogoeswithyou?Youdon’ttravelahundredmilesalone.”
“No,sir,shehassentheran.”
“Apersorusted?”
“Yes,sir,hehaslivedtenyearsinthefamily.”
Mr.Rochestermeditated.“Whendoyouwishtogo?”
“Earlyto-morr,sir.”
“Well,youmusthavesomemoney;you’ttravelwithoutmoney,andIdaresayyouhavenotmuch:Ihavegivenyounosalaryyet.Howmuchhaveyouintheworld,Jane?”heasked,smiling.
Idrewoutmypurse;ameagrethingitwas.“Fiveshillings,sir.”Hetookthepurse,pouredthehoardintohispalm,andchuckledoveritasifitsstinessamusedhim.Soonheproducedhispocket-book:“Here,”saidhe,meawasfiftypounds,andheowedmebutfifteen.ItoldhimIhadnoge.
“Idon’twantge;youknowthat.Takeyes.”
Ideedacceptingmorethanwasmydue.Hescowledatfirst;then,asifrecollegsomething,hesaid—
“Right,right!Betternotgiveyouallnow:youwould,perhaps,stayawaythreemonthsifyouhadfiftypounds.Thereareten;isitnotplenty?”
“Yes,sir,butnowyouowemefive.”
“ebackforit,then;Iamyourbankerforfortypounds.”
“Mr.Rochester,ImayaswellmentionaterofbusioyouwhileIhavetheopportunity.”
“Matterofbusiness?Iamcurioustohearit.”
“Youhaveasgoodasinformedme,sir,thatyoingshortlytobemarried?”
“Yes;whatthen?”
“Inthatcase,sir,Adèleoughttogotoschool:Iamsureyouwillperceivetheyofit.”
“Togetheroutofmybride’sway,whomightotherwisewalkoverherrathertooemphatically?There’ssehesuggestion;notadoubtofit.Adèle,asyousay,mustgotoschool;andyou,ofcourse,mustmarchstraightto—thedevil?”
“Ihopenot,sir;butImustseekauationsomewhere.”
“Incourse!”heexclaimed,withatwangofvoidadistortiouresequallyfantastidludicrous.Helookedatmesomeminutes.
“AndoldMadamReed,ortheMisses,herdaughters,willbesolicitedbyyoutoseekaplace,Isuppose?”
“No,sir;Iamnotonsuchtermswithmyrelativesaswouldjustifymeinaskingfavoursofthem—butIshalladvertise.”
“YoushallthepyramidsofEgypt!”hegrowled.“Atyourperilyouadvertise!IwishIhadonlyofferedyouasninsteadoftenpounds.Givemebaepounds,Jane;I’veauseforit.”
“AndsohaveI,sir,”Ireturned,puttingmyhandsandmypursebehindme.“Icouldnotsparethemoneyonanyat.”
“Littleniggard!”saidhe,“refusingmeapeiaryrequest!Givemefivepounds,Jane.”
“Notfiveshillings,sir;norfivepence.”
“Justletmelookatthecash.”
“No,sir;youarenottobetrusted.”
“Jane!”
“Sir?”
“Promisemeohing.”
“I’llpromiseyouanything,sir,thatIthinkIamlikelytoperform.”
“Nottoadvertise:andtotrustthisquestofasituationtome.I’llfindyouoime.”
“Ishallbegladsotodo,sir,ifyou,inyourturn,willpromisethatIandAdèleshallbebothsafeoutofthehousebeforeyourbridee.”
“Verywell!verywell!I’llpledgemywordonit.Yougoto-morrow,then?”
“Yes,sir;early.”
“Shallyouedowntothedrawing-roomafterdinner?”
“No,sir,Imustprepareforthejourney.”
“ThenyouandImustbidgood-byeforalittlewhile?”
“Isupposeso,sir.”
“Andhowdopeopleperformthatceremony,Jaeachme;I’mnotquiteuptoit.”
“Theysay,Farewell,oranyotherformtheyprefer.”
“Thensayit.”
“Farewell,Mr.Rochester,forthepresent.”
“WhatmustIsay?”
“Thesame,ifyoulike,sir.”
“Farewell,MissEyre,forthepresent;isthatall?”
“Yes?”
“Itseemsstingy,tomynotions,anddry,andunfriendly.Ishouldlikesomethingelse:alittleadditiontotherite.Ifoneshookhands,forinstano—thatwouldnotteher.Soyou’lldonomorethansayFarewell,Jane?”
“Itisenough,sir:asmuchgood-willmaybeveyedinoywordasinmany.”
“Verylikely;butitisblankandcool—‘Farewell.’”
“Howlongishegoingtostandwithhisbackagainstthatdoor?”Iaskedmyself;“Iwanttoencemypag.”Thedinner-bellrang,andsuddenlyawayhebolted,withoutanothersyllable:Isawhimnomoreduringtheday,andwasoffbeforehehadriseninthem.
IreachedthelodgeatGatesheadaboutfiveo’clotheafternoonofthefirstofMay:Isteppedintherebefoinguptothehall.Itwasveryaheoralwindowswerehungwithlittlewhitecurtains;thefloorotless;thegrateandfire-ironswereburnishedbright,andthefireburntclear.Bessiesatonthehearth,nursingherlast-born,andRobertandhissisterplayedquietlyinaer.
“Blessyou!—Iknewyouwoulde!”exclaimedMrs.Leaven,asIentered.
“Yes,Bessie,”saidI,afterIhadkissedher;“andItrustIamnottoolate.HowisMrs.Reed?—Alivestill,Ihope.”
“Yes,sheisalive;andmoresensibleandcollectedthanshewas.Thedoctorsaysshemaylingeraweekortwoyet;buthehardlythinksshewillfinallyrecover.”
“Hasshementioely?”
“Shewastalkingofyouonlythism,andwishingyouwoulde,butsheissleepingnow,orwastenminutesago,whenIatthehouse.Shegenerallyliesinakindoflethargyalltheafternoon,andwakesupaboutsixorseven.Willyourestyourselfhereanhour,Miss,andthenIwillgoupwithyou?”
Roberthereentered,andBessielaidhersleepingchildinthecradleaowelehim:afterwardssheinsistedonmytakingoffmyboandhavingsometea;forshesaidIlookedpaleandtired.Iwasgladtoacceptherhospitality;andIsubmittedtoberelievedofmytravellinggarbjustaspassivelyasIusedtoletherundressmewhenachild.
OldtimescrowdedfastbaeasIwatchedherbustlingabout—settingoutthetea-traywithherbesta,cuttingbreadandbutter,toastingatea-cake,aweenwhiles,givinglittleRobertorJaneanoccasionaltaporpush,justassheusedtogivemeinformerdays.Bessiehadretainedherquicktemperaswellasherlightfootandgoodlooks.
Teaready,Iwasgoingtoapproachthetable;butshedesiredmetositstill,quiteinheroldperemptorytones.Imustbeservedatthefireside,shesaid;andsheplacedbeforemealittleroundstandwithmydaplateoftoast,absolutelyassheusedtoaodatemewithsomeprivatelypurloineddaintyonanurserychair:andIsmiledandobeyedherasinbygonedays.
ShewaoknowifIyatThornfieldHall,andwhatsortofapersoresswas;aoldhertherewasonlyamaster,whetherhewasaleman,andifIlikedhim.Itoldherheratheranuglyman,butquiteagentleman;andthathetreatedmekindly,andIwastent.Theontodescribetaypanythathadlatelybeenstayingatthehouse;andtothesedetailsBessielistehiheywerepreciselyofthekindsherelished.
Insuversationanhourwassoongone:Bessierestoredtomemybo,&d,apaniedbyher,Iquittedthelodgeforthehall.ItwasalsoapaniedbyherthatIhad,nearlynineyearsago,walkeddowhIwasnowasding.Onadark,misty,rawminJanuary,Ihadleftahostilerooferateateredheart—asenseofoutlawryandalmostofreprobation—toseekthechillyharbeofLowood:thatbournesofarawayandunexplored.Thesamehostileroofnowagainrosebeforeme:myprospectsweredoubtfulyet;andIhadyetanagheart.Istillfeltasawahefaceoftheearth;butIexperiencedfirmertrustinmyselfandmyownpowers,andlesswitheringdreadofoppression.Thegapingwoundofmywrongs,too,wasnowquitehealed;andtheflameofreseextinguished.
“Youshallgointothebreakfast-roomfirst,”saidBessie,assheprecededmethroughthehall;“theyoungladieswillbethere.”
InanothermomentIwaswithinthatapartment.TherewaseveryarticleoffurniturelookingjustasitdidonthemIwasfirstintrodur.Brocklehurst:theveryrughehadstooduponstillcoveredthehearth.Glangatthebookcases,IthoughtIcoulddistinguishthetwovolumesofBewick’sBritishBirdsoccupyingtheiroldplathethirdshelf,andGulliver’sTravelsandtheArabianNightsrangedjustabove.Theinanimateobjectswerenotged;butthelivingthingshadalteredpastreition.
Twoyoungladiesappearedbeforeme;oall,almostastallasMissIngram—verythintoo,withasallowfadseveremien.Therewassomethingascetiherlook,whichwasaugmeheextremeplainnessofastraight-skirted,black,stuffdress,astarchedlinencollar,hairbedawayfromthetemples,andthenun-likeorofastringofebonybeadsandacrucifix.ThisIfeltsurewasEliza,thoughIcouldtracelittleresemblaoherformerselfinthatelongatedandcolourlessvisage.
TheotherwasascertainlyGeiana:butnottheGeianaIremembered—theslimandfairy-likegirlofeleven.Thiswasafull-blown,veryplumpdamsel,fairaswaxwork,withhandsomeandregularfeatures,languishingblueeyes,andriedyellowhair.Thehueofherdresswasblacktoo;butitsfashionwassodifferentfromhersister’s—somuchmoreflowingandbeing—itlookedasstylishastheother’slookedpuritanical.
Ineachofthesisterstherewasoraitofthemother—andonlyohethinandpallidelderdaughterhadherparent’sgormeye:thebloomingandluxuriantyoungergirlhadhertourofjawand—perhapsalittlesoftened,butstillimpartinganindescribablehardotheteherwisesovoluptuousandbuxom.
Bothladies,asIadvanced,rosetowele,andbothaddressedmebythenameof“MissEyre.”Eliza’sgreetingwasdeliveredinashort,abruptvoice,withoutasmile;andthedownagain,fixedhereyesonthefire,aetme.Geianaaddedtoher“Howd’yedo?”severalonplacesaboutmyjourheweather,andsoon,utteredinratheradrawlingtone:andapaniedbysundryside-glahatmeasuredmefromheadtofoot—nowtraversingthefoldsofmydrabmerinopelisse,andnowlingeringontheplaintrimmingofmycottagebo.Youngladieshavearemarkablewayoflettingyouknowthattheythinkyoua“quiz”withoutactuallysayingthewords.Acertainsuperciliousnessoflook,essofmanner,nonchalaone,expressfullytheirsesonthepoint,withoutittingthembyanypositiverudenessinwordordeed.
Asneer,however,whethercovertoropen,hadnownolohatpowerovermeitoncepossessed:asIsatbetweenmycousins,IwassurprisedtofindhoweasyIfeltuhetotaloftheohesemi-sarcasticattentionsoftheother—Elizadidnotmortify,neianaruffleme.Thefactwas,Ihadotherthingstothinkabout;withifewmonthsfeelingshadbeenstirredinmesomuchmorepotentthananytheycouldraise—painsandpleasuressomuchmoreacuteandexquisitehadbeeedthananyitwasintheirpowertoinflictorbestow—thattheirairsgavemenoeitherfoodorbad.
“HowisMrs.Reed?”Iaskedsoon,lookingcalmlyatGeiana,whothoughtfittobridleatthedirectaddress,asifitwereanuedliberty.
“Mrs.Reed?Ah!mama,youmean;sheisextremelypoorly:Idoubtifyouseeherto-night.”
“If,”saidI,“youwouldjuststepupstairsandtellherIame,Ishouldbemuchobligedtoyou.”
Geianaalmoststarted,andsheopenedherblueeyeswildandwide.“Iknowshehadaparticularwishtoseeme,”Iadded,“andIwouldnotdeferattendingtoherdesirelohanisabsolutelynecessary.”
“Mamadislikesbeingdisturbedinanevening,”remarkedEliza.Isoonrose,quietlytookoffmyboandgloves,uninvited,andsaidIwouldjuststepouttoBessie—whowas,Idaredsay,i—andaskhertoascertaiherMrs.Reedwasdisposedtoreceivemeornotto-night.Iwent,andhavingfoundBessieachedheronmyerrand,Iproceededtotakefurthermeasures.Ithadheretoforebeenmyhabitalwaystoshrinkfrance:receivedasIhadbeento-day,Ishould,ayearago,haveresolvedtoquitGatesheadtheverym;now,itwasdisclosedtomeallatothatwouldbeafoolishplan.Ihadtakenajourneyofahundredmilestoseemyaunt,andImuststaywithhertillshewasbetter—ordead:asthters’prideorfolly,Imustputitononeside,makemyselfindepeofit.SoIaddressedthehousekeeper;askedhertoshowmearoom,toldherIshouldprobablybeavisitorhereforaweekortwo,hadmytrunkveyedtomychamber,andfolloweditthithermyself:ImetBessieonthelanding.
“Missisisawake,”saidshe;“Ihavetoldheryouarehere:eausseeifshewillknowyou.”
Ididobeguidedtothewell-knownroom,towhichIhadsooftenbeensummonedforchastisementorreprimandinformerdays.IhastenedbeforeBessie;Isoftlyopehedoor:ashadedlightstoodoable,foritwasingdark.Therewasthegreatfour-postbedwithamberhangingsasofold;therethetoilet-table,thearmchair,astool,atwhichIhadahuimesbeeeokoaskpardonforoffencesbymeunitted.Ilookedintoacertainernear,half-expegtoseetheslimoutlineofaoncedreadedswitchwhichusedtolurkthere,waitingtoleapoutimp-likeandlacemyquiveringpalmorshrinkingneck.Iapproachedthebed;Iopehecurtainsaoverthehigh-piledpillows.
WelldidIrememberMrs.Reed’sfadIeagerlysoughtthefamiliarimage.Itisahappythingthattimequellsthelongingsofvengeandhushesthepromptingseandaversion.Ihadleftthiswomaninbitternessandhate,andIcamebacktohernowwithnootheremotionthanasortofruthfreatsufferings,andastrongyearningtetandfiveallinjuries—tobereciledandclasphandsinamity.
Thewell-knowhere:sterlessasever—therewasthatpeculiareyewhiothingelt,andthesomewhatraised,imperious,despoticeyebrow.Howoftenhaditloweredonmemenadhate!andhowtherecolleofchildhood’sterrorsandsorrowsrevivedasItraceditsharshlinenow!Aoopeddownandkissedher:shelookedatme.
“IsthisJaneEyre?”shesaid.
“Yes,AuntReed.Howareyou,dearaunt?”
IhadoncevowedthatIwouldnevercallherauntagain:Ithoughtitnosintetahatvownow.Myfingershadfastenedonherhandwhichlayoutsidethesheet:hadshepressedminekindly,Ishouldatthatmomenthaveexperieruepleasure.Butunimpressiouresarenotsosoonsoftened,norarenaturalantipathiessoreadilyeradicated.Mrs.Reedtookherhandaway,and,turningherfaceratherfromme,sheremarkedthatthenightwaswarm.Againsheregardedmesoicily,Ifeltatoheropinionofme—herfeelingtowardsme—wasungedandungeable.Iknewbyherstonyeye—opaquetotenderness,indissolubletotears—thatshewasresolvedtosidermebadtothelast;becausetobelievemegoodwouldgivehernogenerouspleasure:onlyasenseofmortification.
Ifeltpain,andtheire;andtheadeterminationtosubdueher—tobehermistressinspitebothofhernatureandherwill.Mytearshadrisen,justasinchildhood:Iorderedthembacktotheirsource.Ibroughtachairtothebed-head:Isatdownandleanedoverthepillow.
“Yousentforme,”Isaid,“andIamhere;anditismyiiontostaytillIseehowyougeton.”
“Oh,ofcourse!Youhaveseenmydaughters?”
“Yes.”
“Well,youmaytellthemIwishyoutostaytillItalksomethingsoverwithyouIhaveonmymind:to-nightitistoolate,andIhaveadifficultyinrecallingthem.ButtherewassomethingIwishedtosay—letmesee—”
Thewanderinglookandgedutteraoldwhatwreckhadtakenplaheroncevigorousframe.Turnilessly,shedrewthebedclothesroundher;myelbow,restingonaerofthequilt,fixeditdown:shewasatonceirritated.
“Situp!”saidshe;“don’tanhholdihesfast.AreyouJaneEyre?”
“IamJaneEyre.”
“Ihavehadmoretroublewiththatchildthananyonewouldbelieve.Suchaburdeonmyhands—andsomuoyanceasshecausedme,dailyandhourly,withherinprehensibledisposition,andhersuddenstartsoftemper,andhertinual,unnaturalwatgsofone’smovements!Ideclareshetalkedtomeoncelikesomethingmad,orlikeafiend—nochildeverspokeorlookedasshedid;Iwasgladtogetherawayfromthehouse.WhatdidtheydowithheratLowood?Thefeverbrokeoutthere,andmanyofthepupilsdied.She,however,didnotdie:butIsaidshedid—Iwishshehaddied!”
“Astrangewish,Mrs.Reed;whydoyouhateherso?”
“Ihadadisliketohermotheralways;forshewasmyhusband’sonlysister,andagreatfavouritewithhim:heopposedthefamily’sdisowningherwhenshemadeherle;andwhennewscameofherdeath,heweptlikeasimpleton.Hewouldsendforthebaby;thoughIeedhimrathertoputitouttonurseandpayforitsmaintenance.IhateditthefirsttimeIsetmyeyesonit—asickly,whining,piningthing!Itwouldwailinitscradleallnightlong—notscreamiilylikeanyotherchild,butwhimperingandmoaning.Reedpitiedit;andheusedtoandnoticeitasifithadbeenhisown:more,ihanheevernoticedhisownatthatage.Hewouldtrytomakemychildrenfriendlytothelittlebeggar:thedarlingscould,andhewasangrywiththemwhentheyshowedtheirdislike.Inhislastillness,hehaditbroughttinuallytohisbedside;andbutanhourbeforehedied,heboundmebyvowtokeepthecreature.Iwouldassoonhavebeenchargederbratoutofaworkhouse:buthewasweak,naturallyweak.Johatallresemblehisfather,andIamgladofit:Johnislikemeandlikemybrothers—heisquiteaGibson.Oh,Iwishhewouldceasetormentihlettersformoney?Ihavenomoremoogivehim:wearegettingpoor.Imustsendawayhalftheservantsandshutuppartofthehouse;orletitoff.Ieversubmittodothat—yethowarewetogeton?Two-thirdsofmyinegoesinpayierestes.Johngamblesdreadfully,andalwaysloses—poorboy!Heisbesetbysharpers:Johnissunkanddegraded—hislookisfrightful—IfeelashamedforhimwhenIseehim.”
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并不代表本站立场!本站亦无法严格审:Jane Eyre最新章节其版权归属。如您对Jane EyreTXT下载持有版权方面的异议，请联系本站客服。我们将于72小时内处理。
Copyright (C) 2019 All Rights Reserved 版权所有：松语文学