Chapter 37
Themanor-houseofFerndeanwasabuildingofsiderableantiquity,moderatesize,andnoarchitecturalpretensions,deepburiedinawood.Ihadheardofitbefore.Mr.Rochesteroftenspokeofit,andsometimeswentthere.Hisfatherhadpurchasedtheestateforthesakeofthegamecovers.Hewouldhaveletthehouse,butcouldfind,insequesineligibleandinsalubrioussite.Ferhenremaineduninhabitedandunfurnished,withtheexceptionofsometwoorthreeroomsfittedupfortheaodationofthesquirewhehereintheseasontoshoot.
TothishouseIcamejusteredarkonaneveningmarkedbythecharacteristicsofsadsky,coldgale,andtinuedsmallpeingraimileIperformedonfoot,havingdismissedthechaiseanddriverwiththedoubleremuionIhadpromised.Evehinaveryshortdistahemanor-house,youcouldseenothingofit,sothiddarkgrewthetimberofthegloomywoodaboutit.Iroweengranitepillarsshowedmewheretoenter,andpassingthroughthem,Ifoundmyselfatohetwilightofclose-rarees.Therewasagrass-growntrackdesdingtheforestaislebetweenhoarandknottyshaftsandunderbranchedarches.Ifollowedit,expegsoohedwelling;butitstretchedonandon,itwouldfarandfarther:nosignofhabitatiroundswasvisible.
IthoughtIhadtakenawrongdireandlostmyway.Thedarknessofnaturalaswellasofsylvanduskgatheredoverme.Ilookedroundinsearchofanotherroad.Therewasnone:allwasinterwovenstem,nartrunk,densesummerfoliage—noopeninganywhere.
Iproceeded:atlastmyehetreesthinnedalittle;presentlyIbeheldarailing,thenthehouse—scarce,bythisdimlight,distinguishablefromthetrees;sodankandgreesdegwalls.Enteringaportal,fastenedonlybyalatch,Istoodamidstaspaceofenclosedground,fromwhichthewoodsweptawayinasemicircle.Therewerenoflowers,nogarden-beds;onlyabroadgravel-walkgirdlingagrass-plat,andthissetintheheavyframeoftheforest.Thehousepresewopointedgablesinitsfront;thewindowswerelattidnarrow:thefrontdoorwasnarrowtoo,oepleduptoit.Thewholelooked,asthehostoftheRochesterArmshadsaid,“quiteadesolatespot.”Itwasasstillasachuraweek-day:thepatteringrainontheforestleaveswastheonlysoundaudibleinitsviage.
“therebelifehere?”Iasked.
Yes,lifeofsomekindtherewas;forIheardamovement—thatnarrowfront-doorwasunclosing,andsomeshapewasabouttoissuefromthegrange.
Itopenedslowly:afigurecameoutintothetwilightandstoodoep;amanwithoutahat:hestretchedforthhishandasiftofeelwhetheritrained.Duskasitwas,Ihadreisedhim—itwasmymaster,EdwardFairfaxRochester,andnoother.
Istayedmystep,almostmybreath,andstoodtowatchhim—toexaminehim,myselfunseen,andalas!tohiminvisible.Itwasasuddeing,andoneinwhichrapturetwellincheckbypain.Ihadnodifficultyirainingmyvoiexclamation,mystepfromhastyadvance.
Hisformwasofthesamestrongandstalwarttourasever:hisportwasstillerect,hisheirwasstillravenblaorwerehisfeaturesalteredorsunk:notinoneyear’sspace,byanysorrow,couldhisathleticstrengthbequelledorhisvigorousprimeblighted.ButinhistenanceIsawage:thatlookeddesperateandbrooding—thatremindedmeofsedaeredwildbeastorbird,dangeroustoapproahissullehecagedeagle,whosegedeyescrueltyhasextinguished,mightlookaslookedthatsightlessSamson.
And,reader,doyouthinkIfearedhiminhisblindferocity?—ifyoudo,youlittleknowme.AsofthopeblestwithmysorrowthatsoonIshoulddaretodropakissonthatbrowofrodonthoselipssosternlysealedbehit:but.Iwouldnotaccosthimyet.
Hedesdedtheoep,andadvancedslowlyandgropinglytowardsthegrass-plat.Wherewashisdaringstridenow?Thenhepaused,asifhekwhichwaytoturedhishandandopenedhiseyelids;gazedblank,andwithastrainingeffort,onthesky,andtowardtheamphitheatreoftrees:ohatalltohimwasvoiddarkness.Hestretchedhisrighthand(theleftarm,themutilatedohiddeninhisbosom);heseemedtowishbytouchtogainanideaofwhatlayaroundhim:hemetbutvacystill;forthetreesweresomeyardsoffwherehestood.Herelinquishedtheendeavour,foldedhisarms,andstoodquietandmuteintherain,nowfallingfastonhisuncoveredhead.AtthismomentJohnapproachedhimfromsomequarter.
“Willyoutakemyarm,sir?”hesaid;“thereisaheavyshoweringon:hadyouergoin?”
“Letmealone,”wastheanswer.
Johnwithdrewwithouthavingobservedme.Mr.Rochesternowtriedtowalkabout:vainly,—allwastoouain.Hegropedhiswaybacktothehouse,aeringit,closedthedoor.
Inowdrewnearandknocked:John’swifeopenedforme.“Mary,”Isaid,“howareyou?”
Shestartedasifshehadseenaghost:Icalmedher.Toherhurried“Isitreallyyou,miss,eatthislatehourtothislonelyplace?”Iansweredbytakingherhand;andthenIfollowedherintothekit,whereJohnnowsatbyagoodfire.Iexplaihem,infewwords,thatIhadheardallwhichhadhappenedsinceIleftThornfield,andthatIwasetoseeMr.Rochester.IaskedJohntogodowntotheturn-pike-house,whereIhaddismissedthechaise,andbringmytrunk,whichIhadleftthere:andthen,whileIremovedmyboandshawl,IquestionedMaryastowhetherIcouldbeaodatedattheManorHouseforthenight;andfindingthatarraothateffect,thoughdifficult,wouldnotbeimpossible,IinformedherIshouldstay.Justatthismomenttheparlour-bellrang.
“Whenyougoin,”saidI,“tellyourmasterthatapersonwishestospeaktohim,butdonotgivemyname.”
“Idon’tthinkhewillseeyou,”sheanswered;“herefuseseverybody.”
Wheurned,Iinquiredwhathehadsaid.“Youaretosendinyournameandyourbusiness,”shereplied.Shethenproceededtofillaglasswithwater,andplaceitonatray,togetherwithdles.
“Isthatwhatherangfor?”Iasked.
“Yes:healwayshasdlesbroughtinatdark,thoughheisblind.”
“Givethetraytome;Iwillcarryitin.”
Itookitfromherhand:shepointedmeouttheparlourdoor.ThetrayshookasIheldit;thewaterspiltfromtheglass;myheartstruckmyribsloudandfast.Maryopehedoorforme,andshutitbehindme.
Thisparlourlookedgloomy:aedhandfuloffireburntlowie;and,leani,withhisheadsupportedagainstthehigh,old-fashionedmantelpiece,appearedtheblioftheroom.Hisolddog,Pilot,layononeside,removedoutoftheway,andcoiledupasifafraidofbeingientlytroddenupon.PilotprickeduphisearswhenIcamein:thenhejumpedupandawhine,andbouowardsme:healmostkhetrayfrommyhands.Isetitoable;thenpattedhim,andsaidsoftly,“Liedown!”Mr.Rochesterturnedmeicallytoseewhattheotionwas:butashesawnothiurnedandsighed.
“Givemethewater,Mary,”hesaid.
Iapproachedhimwiththenowonlyhalf-filledglass;Pilotfollowedme,stillexcited.
“Whatisthematter?”heinquired.
“Down,Pilot!”Iagainsaid.Hecheckedthewateronitswaytohislips,aolisten:hedrank,andputtheglassdown.“Thisisyou,Mary,isitnot?”
“Maryisi,”Ianswered.
Heputouthishandwithaquickgesture,butnotseeingwhereIstood,hedidnottouchme.“Whoisthis?Whoisthis?”hedemarying,asitseemed,toSEEwiththosesightlesseyes—unavailinganddistressingattempt!“Answerme—speakagain!”heordered,imperiouslyandaloud.
“Willyouhavealittlemorewater,sir?Ispilthalfofwhatwasintheglass,”Isaid.
“Whoisit?Whatisit?Whospeaks?”
“Pilotknowsme,andJohnandMaryknowIamhere.Icameonlythisevening,”Ianswered.
“GreatGod!—whatdelusionhase?Whatsweetmadnesshasseizedme?”
“Nodelusion—nomadness:yourmind,sir,istfordelusion,yourhealthtoosoundforfrenzy.”
“Andwhereisthespeaker?Isitonlyavoice?Oh!Iotsee,butImustfeel,ormyheartwillstopandmybrainburst.Whatever—whoeveryouare—beperceptibletothetouchorIotlive!”
Hegroped;Iarrestedhiswanderinghand,andprisoinbothmine.
“Herveryfingers!”hecried;“hersmall,slightfingers!Ifsotheremustbemoreofher.”
Themuscularhandbrokefrommyyarmwasseized,myshoulder—neck—waist—Iwasentwinedandgatheredtohim.
“IsitJane?Whatisit?Thisishershape—thisishersize—”
“Andthishervoice,”Iadded.“Sheisallhere:herheart,too.Godblessyou,sir!Iamgladtobesonearyouagain.”
“JaneEyre!—JaneEyre,”wasallhesaid.
“Mydearmaster,”Ianswered,“IamJaneEyre:Ihavefoundyouout—Iamebacktoyou.”
“Intruth?—intheflesh?MylivingJane?”
“Youtouchme,sir,—youholdme,andfastenough:Iamnotcoldlikeacorpse,norvatlikeair,amI?”
“Mylivingdarling!Thesearecertainlyherlimbs,andtheseherfeatures;butIotbesoblest,afterallmymisery.Itisadream;suchdreamsasIhavehadatnightwhenIhaveclaspedheroncemoretomyheart,asIdonow;andkissedher,asthus—ahatshelovedme,andtrustedthatshewouldnotleaveme.”
“Whieverwill,sir,fromthisday.”
“Neverwill,saysthevision?ButIalwayswokeandfounditaymockery;andIwasdesolateandabandoned—mylifedark,lonely,hopeless—mysoulathirstandforbiddentodrink—myheartfamishedaobefed.Gentle,softdream,linginmyarmsnow,youwillfly,too,asyoursistershaveallfledbeforeyou:butkissmebeforeyougo—embraceme,Jane.”
“There,sir—andthere!”’
Ipressedmylipstohisoncebrilliantandnowraylesseyes—Iswepthishairfromhisbrow,andkissedthattoo.Hesuddenlyseemedtoarousehimself:thevioftherealityofallthisseizedhim.
“Itisyou—isit,Jane?Youareebaethen?”
“Iam.”
“Andyoudonotliedeadidersomestream?Andyouarenotapiningoutcastamongststrangers?”
“No,sir!Iamanindepewomannow.”
“Indepe!Whatdoyoumean,Jane?”
“MyunMadeiraisdead,amefivethousandpounds.”
“Ah!thisispractical—thisisreal!”hecried:“Ishouldneverdreamthat.Besides,thereisthatpeculiarvoiceofhers,soanimatingandpiquant,aswellassoft:itcheersmywitheredheart;itputslifeintoit.—What,Ja!Areyouanindepewoman?Arian?”
“Ifyouwomelivewithyou,Ibuildahouseofmyowncloseuptoyourdoor,andyoumayeandsitinmyparlourwhenyouwantpanyofanevening.”
“Butasyouarerich,Jane,youhavenow,nodoubt,friendswhowilllookafteryou,andnotsufferyoutodevoteyourselftoablindlameterlikeme?”
“ItoldyouIamindepe,sir,aswellasrich:Iammyownmistress.”
“Andyouwillstaywithme?”
“Certainly—unlessyouobject.Iwillbeyhbour,yournurse,yourhousekeeper.Ifindyoulonely:Iwillbeyourpanion—toreadtoyou,towalkwithyou,tositwithyou,towaitonyou,tobeeyesandhandstoyou.Ceasetolooksomelanydearmaster;youshalldesolate,solongasIlive.”
Herepliednot:heseemedserious—abstracted;hesighed;hehalf-openedhislipsasiftospeak:heclosedthemagaialittleembarrassed.PerhapsIhadtoorashlyover-leapedventionalities;andhe,likeSt.John,sawimproprietyinmyinsiderateness.Ihadindeedmademyproposalfromtheideathathewishedandwouldaskmetobehiswife:aion,notthelesscertainbecauseunexpressed,hadbuoyedmeup,thathewouldclaimmeatonceashisown.Butnohinttothateffectesghimandhistenancebeingmoreovercast,IsuddenlyrememberedthatImighthavebeenallwrong,anderhapsplayingthefoolunwittingly;andIbegalytowithdrawmyselffromhisarms—butheeagerlysnatchedmecloser.
“No—no—Jane;youmustnotgo.No—Ihavetouchedyou,heardyou,feltthefortofyourpresehesweetnessofyoursolation:Iotgiveupthesejoys.Ihavelittleleftinmyself—Imusthaveyou.Theworldmaylaugh—maycallmeabsurd,selfish—butitdoesnotsignify.Myverysouldemandsyou:itwillbesatisfied,oritwilltakedeadlyvengeasframe.”
“Well,sir,Iwillstaywithyou:Ihavesaidso.”
“Yes—butyouuahingbystayingwithme;andIuandanother.You,perhaps,akeupyourmindtobeaboutmyhandandchair—towaitonmeasakindlittlenurse(foryouhaveaionateheartandagenerousspirit,whiptyoutomakesacrificesforthoseyoupity),andthatoughttosuffienodoubt.IsupposeIshouldertaifatherlyfeelingsforyou:doyouthinkso?e—tellme.”
“Iwillthinkwhatyoulike,sir:Iamtenttobeonlyyournurse,ifyouthinkitbetter.”
“Butyouotalwaysbemynurse,Ja:youareyoung—youmustmarryoneday.”
“Idon’tcareaboutbeingmarried.”
“Youshouldcare,Ja:ifIwerewhatIoncewas,Iwouldtrytomakeyoucare—but—asightlessblock!”
Herelapsedagainintogloom.I,orary,becamemorecheerful,andtookfreshce:theselastwavemeaninsightastowherethedifficultylay;andasitwasnodifficultywithme,Ifeltquiterelievedfrommypreviousembarrassment.Iresumedalivelierveinofversation.
“Itistimesomeoneuooktorehumaniseyou,”saidI,partinghisthidlonguncutlocks;“forIseeyouarebeiamorphosedintoalion,orsomethingofthatsort.Youhavea‘fauxair’ofNebuezzarinthefieldsaboutyou,thatiscertain:yourhairremindsmeofeagles’feathers;whetheryournailsaregrownlikebirds’clawsornot,Ihaveiced.”
“Onthisarm,Ihaveherhandnornails,”hesaid,drawiilatedlimbfromhisbreast,andshowingittome.“Itisamerestump—aghastlysight!Don’tyouthinkso,Jane?”
“Itisapitytoseeit;andapitytoseeyoureyes—andthescaroffireonyourforehead:andtheworstofitis,oneisindangeroflovingyoutoowellforallthis;andmakingtoomuchofyou.”
“Ithoughtyouwouldberevolted,Jane,whenyousawmyarm,andmycicatrisedvisage.”
“Didyou?Don’ttellmeso—lestIshouldsaysomethingdisparagingtment.Now,letmeleaveyouaninstant,tomakeabetterfire,andhavethehearthsweptup.youtellwhenthereisagoodfire?”
“Yes;withtherighteyeIseeaglow—aruddyhaze.”
“Andyouseethedles?”
“Verydimly—eachisaluminouscloud.”
“youseeme?”
“No,myfairy:butIamonlytoothankfultohearandfeelyou.”
“Whendoyoutakesupper?”
“Iakesupper.”
“Butyoushallhavesometo-night.Iamhungry:soareyou,Idaresay,onlyyet.”
SummoningMary,Isoonhadtheroominmorecheerfulorder:Ipreparedhim,likewise,afortablerepast.Myspiritswereexcited,andwithpleasureandeaseItalkedtohimduringsupper,andforalongtimeafter.Therewasnoharassiraint,norepressingofgleeandvivacitywithhim;forwithhimIerfectease,becauseIknewIsuitedhim;allIsaidordidseemedeithertosoleorrevivehim.Delightfulsciousness!Itbroughttolifeandlightmywholenature:inhispresehhlylived;andhelivedinmine.Blindashewas,smilesplayedoverhisface,joydawnedonhisforehead:hislissoftenedandwarmed.
Aftersupper,hebegantoaskmemaions,ofwhereIhadbeen,whatIhadbeendoing,howIhadfoundhimout;butIgavehimonlyverypartialreplies:itwastoolatetoeoparticularsthatnight.Besides,Iwishedtotouodeep-thrillingchord—toopennofreshwellofemotioninhisheart:mysolepresentaimwastocheerhim.Cheered,asIhavesaid,hewas:abyfits.Ifamoment’ssilencebroketheversation,hewouldturless,touchme,thensay,“Jane.”
“Youarealtogetherahumanbeing,Jane?Youarecertainofthat?”
“Istiouslybelieveso,Mr.Rochester.”
“Yethow,onthisdarkanddolefulevening,couldyousosuddenlyriseonmyloh?Istretchedmyhandtotakeaglassofwaterfromahireling,anditwasgivenmebyyou:Iaskedaquestion,expegJohn’swifetoanswerme,andyourvoicespokeatmyear.”
“BecauseIhadein,inMary’sstead,withthetray.”
“AndthereisentmentintheveryhourIamnowspendingwithyou.Whotellwhatadark,dreary,hopelesslifeIhavedraggedonformonthspast?Doingnothing,expegnothing;mergingnightinday;feelingbutthesensationofcoldwhehefiregoout,ofhungerwhenIfottoeat:andthenaceaselesssorrow,and,attimes,averydeliriumofdesiretobeholdmyJaneagain.Yes:forherrestorationIlonged,farmorethanforthatofmylostsight.HowitbethatJaneiswithme,andsaysshelovesme?Willsheassuddenlyasshecame?To-morrow,IfearIshallfindhernomore.”
Aonplace,practicalreply,outofthetrainofhisowndisturbedideas,was,Iwassure,thebestandmostreassuringforhiminthisframeofmind.Ipassedmyfingeroverhiseyebrows,andremarkedthattheywerescorched,andthatIwouldapplysomethingwhiakethemgrowasbroadandblackasever.
“Whereistheuseofdoingmegoodinanyway,benefitspirit,when,atsomefatalmoment,youwillagaime—passinglikeashadow,whitherandhowtomeunknown,andformeremainingafterwardsundiscoverable?
“Haveyouapocket-baboutyou,sir?”
“Whatfor,Jane?”
“Justtoboutthisshaggyblae.Ifindyouratheralarming,whenIexamineyoucloseathand:youtalkofmybeingafairy,butIamsure,youaremorelikeabrownie.”
“AmIhideous,Jane?”
“Very,sir:youalwayswere,youknow.”
“Humph!Thewiesshasakenoutofyou,whereveryouhavesojourned.”
“YetIhavebeenwithgoodpeople;farbetterthanyou:ahuimesbetterpeople;possessedofideasandviewsyouertainedinyourlife:quitemorerefinedaed.”
“Whothedeucehaveyoubeenwith?”
“Ifyoutwistinthatwayyouwillmakemepullthehairoutofyourhead;ahinkyouwillceasetoeaindoubtsofmysubstantiality.”
“Whohaveyoubeenwith,Jane?”
“Youshalloutofmeto-night,sir;youmustwaittillto-morrow;toleavemytalehalftold,will,youknow,beasortofsecuritythatIshallappearatyourbreakfasttabletofinishit.Bythebye,Imustmindnottoriseonyourhearthwithonlyaglassofwaterthen:Imustbritheleast,tosaynothingoffriedham.”
“Youmoggeling—fairy-bornandhuman-bred!YoumakemefeelasIhavehesetwelvemonths.IfSaulcouldhavehadyouforhisDavid,theevilspiritwouldhavebeenexorcisedwithouttheaidoftheharp.”
“There,sir,youarereddupandmadedet.NowI’llleaveyou:Ihavebeentravellingtheselastthreedays,andIbelieveIamtired.Goodnight.”
“Justoneword,Jahereonlyladiesinthehousewhereyouhavebeen?”
Ilaughedandmademyescape,stilllaughingasIranupstairs.“Agoodidea!”Ithoughtwithglee.“IseeIhavethemeansoffrettinghimoutofhismelancholyforsometimetoe.”
VeryearlythemIheardhimupandastir,wanderingfromoneroomtoanother.AssoonasMarycamedowhequestion:“IsMissEyrehere?”Then:“Whididyouputherinto?Wasitdry?Issheup?Goandaskifshewantsanything;andwhenshewilledown.”
IcamedownassoonasIthoughtthererospectofbreakfast.Enteringtheroomverysoftly,Ihadaviewofhimbeforehediscoveredmypresewasmournful,iowithesubjugationofthatvigorousspirittoacorporealinfirmity.Hesatinhischair—still,butnotatrest:expetevidently;thelinesofnowhabitualsadnessmarkinghisstroures.Histenanceremindedoneofalampquenched,waitingtobere-lit—andalas!itwasnothimselfthatcouldnowkihelustreofanimatedexpression:heeonanotherforthatoffice!Ihadmeanttobegayandcareless,butthepowerlessnessofthestrongmantouchedmyhearttothequick:stillIaccostedhimwithwhatvivacityIcould.
“Itisabright,sunnym,sir,”Isaid.“Therainisone,andthereisatendershiningafterit:youshallhaveawalksoon.”
Ihadwakeheglow:hisfeaturesbeamed.
“Oh,youareihere,myskylark!etome.Youarenotgovanished?Iheardoneofyourkindanho,singinghighoverthewood:butitssonghadnomusie,anymorethantherisingsunhadrays.AllthemelodyohistratedinmyJaoomyear(Iamgladitisnotnaturallyasilentone):allthesunshineIfeelisinherpresence.”
Thewaterstoodiohearthisavowalofhisdependence;justasifaroyaleagle,edtoaperch,shouldbeforcedtoeasparrowtobeeitspurveyor.ButIwouldnotbelachrymose:Idashedoffthesaltdrops,andbusiedmyselfwithpreparingbreakfast.
Mostofthementintheopenair.Iledhimoutofthewetandwildwoodintosomecheerfulfields:Idescribedtohimhowbrilliantlygreentheywere;howtheflowersandhedgeslookedrefreshed;howsparklinglybluewasthesky.Isoughtaseatforhiminahiddenandlovelyspot,adrystumpofatree;nordidIrefusetolethim,wheed,placemeonhisknee.WhyshouldI,whenbothheandIwerehappierhanapart?Pilotlaybesideus:allwasquiet.Hebrokeoutsuddenlywhileclaspingmeinhisarms—
“Cruel,crueldeserter!Oh,Jane,whatdidIfeelwhenIdiscoveredyouhadfledfromThornfield,andwhenIcouldnowherefindyou;and,afterexaminingyourapartment,ascertaihatyouhadtakennomoney,noranythingwhichcouldserveasanequivalent!ApearlnecklaceIhadgivenyoulayuntouchedinitslittlecasket;yourtrunkswereleftcordedandlockedastheyhadbeenpreparedforthebridaltour.Whatydarlingdo,Iasked,leftdestituteandpenniless?Andwhatdidshedo?Letmehearnow.”
Thusurged,Ibeganthenarrativeofmyexperiehelastyear.Isoftenedsiderablywhatrelatedtothethreedaysofwanderingandstarvation,becausetohavetoldhimallwouldhavebeentoinfliecessarypaileIdidsaylaceratedhisfaithfulheartdeeperthanIwished.
Ishouldnothavelefthimthus,hesaid,withoutanymeansofmakingmyway:Ishouldhavetoldhimmyiion.Ishouldhavefidedinhim:hewouldneverhaveforcedmetobehismistress.Violentashehadseemedinhisdespair,he,intruth,lovedmefartoowellandtooteostitutehimselfmytyrant:hewouldhavegivenmehalfhisfortuhoutdemandingsomuchasakissiurn,ratherthanIshouldhaveflungmyselffriendlessonthewideworld.Ihadendured,hewascertain,morethanIhadfessedtohim.
“Well,whatevermysufferingshadbeen,theywereveryshort,”Ianswered:andthenIproceededtotellhimhowIhadbeenreceivedatMoorHouse;howIhadobtaiheofficeofsistress,&c.Theaccessionoffortuhediscoveryofmyrelations,followedindueorder.Ofcourse,St.JohnRivers’namecameinfrequentlyintheprogressofmytale.WhenIhaddohatnamewasimmediatelytakenup.
“ThisSt.John,then,isyourcousin?”
“Yes.”
“Youhavespokenofhimoften:doyoulikehim?”
“Hewasaverygoodman,sir;Icouldnothelplikinghim.”
“Agoodmahatmeanarespectablewell-ductedmanoffifty?Orwhatdoesitmean?”
“StJohnwasonlytwenty-nine,sir.”
“‘Jeuneencore,’astheFrenchsay.Isheapersonoflowstature,phlegmatidplain.Apersonwhosegoodnesssistsratherinhisguiltlessnessofvice,thaninhisprowessinvirtue.”
“Heisuntiringlyactive.Greataeddeedsarewhathelivestoperform.”
“Buthisbrain?Thatisprobablyrathersoft?Hemeanswell:butyyourshoulderstohearhimtalk?”
“Hetalkslittle,sir:whathedoessayisevertothepoint.Hisbrainisfirst-rate,Ishouldthinknotimpressible,butvigorous.”
“Isheanableman,then?”
“Trulyable.”
“Athhlyeducatedman?”
“St.Johnisanaplishedandprofoundscholar.”
“Hismanners,Ithink,yousaidarenottoyourtaste?—priggishandparsonic?”
“Inevermentionedhismanners;but,unlessIhadaverybadtaste,theymustsuitit;theyarepolished,calm,alemanlike.”
“Hisappearance,—Ifetwhatdescriptionyougaveofhisappearance;—asortofrawcurate,halfstrahhiswhiteneckcloth,andstilteduponhisthick-soledhigh-lows,eh?”
“St.Johndresseswell.Heisahandsomeman:tall,fair,withblueeyes,andaGreprofile.”
(Aside.)“Damnhim!”—(Tome.)“Didyoulikehim,Jane?”
“Yes,Mr.Rochester,Ilikedhim:butyouaskedmethatbefore.”
Iperceived,ofcourse,thedriftofmyinterlocutor.Jealousyhadgotholdofhim:shestunghim;butthestingwassalutary:itgavehimrespitefromthegnawingfangofmelancholy.Iwouldnot,therefore,immediatelycharmthesnake.
“Perhapsyouwouldrathernotsitanylongeronmyknee,MissEyre?”wasthesomewhatuedobservation.
“Whynot,Mr.Rochester?”
“Thepictureyouhavejustdrawnissuggestiveofarathertoooverwhelmingtrast.YourwordshavedeliedveryprettilyagracefulApollo:heispresenttination,—tall,fair,blue-eyed,andwithaGreprofile.YoureyesdwellonaVul,—arealblacksmith,brown,broad-shouldered:andblindandlameintothebargain.”
“Ihoughtofit,before;butyoucertainlyareratherlikeVul,sir.”
“Well,youleaveme,ma’am:butbeforeyougo”(aainedmebyafirmergraspthanever),“youwillbepleasedjusttoanswermeaquestionortwo.”Hepaused.
“Whatquestions,Mr.Rochester?”
Thenfollowedthiscross-examination.
“St.JohnmadeyousistressofMortonbeforeheknewyouwerehiscousin?”
“Yes.”
“Youwouldoftenseehim?Hewouldvisitthesetimes?”
“Daily.”
“Hewouldapproveofyourplans,Jane?Iknowtheywouldbeclever,foryouareatalentedcreature!”
“Heapprovedofthem—yes.”
“Hewoulddisanythingsinyouhecouldnothaveexpectedtofind?Someofyouraplishmentsarenotordinary.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
“Youhadalittlecottageheschool,yousay:didheeveretheretoseeyou?”
“Nowandthen?”
“Ofanevening?”
“Owice.”
Apause.
“Howlongdidyouresidewithhimandhissistersafterthecousinshipwasdiscovered?”
“Fivemonths.”
“DidRiversspendmuchtimewiththeladiesofhisfamily?”
“Yes;thebackparlourwasbothhisstudyandours:hesathewindow,ahetable.”
“Didhestudymuch?”</松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
TothishouseIcamejusteredarkonaneveningmarkedbythecharacteristicsofsadsky,coldgale,andtinuedsmallpeingraimileIperformedonfoot,havingdismissedthechaiseanddriverwiththedoubleremuionIhadpromised.Evehinaveryshortdistahemanor-house,youcouldseenothingofit,sothiddarkgrewthetimberofthegloomywoodaboutit.Iroweengranitepillarsshowedmewheretoenter,andpassingthroughthem,Ifoundmyselfatohetwilightofclose-rarees.Therewasagrass-growntrackdesdingtheforestaislebetweenhoarandknottyshaftsandunderbranchedarches.Ifollowedit,expegsoohedwelling;butitstretchedonandon,itwouldfarandfarther:nosignofhabitatiroundswasvisible.
IthoughtIhadtakenawrongdireandlostmyway.Thedarknessofnaturalaswellasofsylvanduskgatheredoverme.Ilookedroundinsearchofanotherroad.Therewasnone:allwasinterwovenstem,nartrunk,densesummerfoliage—noopeninganywhere.
Iproceeded:atlastmyehetreesthinnedalittle;presentlyIbeheldarailing,thenthehouse—scarce,bythisdimlight,distinguishablefromthetrees;sodankandgreesdegwalls.Enteringaportal,fastenedonlybyalatch,Istoodamidstaspaceofenclosedground,fromwhichthewoodsweptawayinasemicircle.Therewerenoflowers,nogarden-beds;onlyabroadgravel-walkgirdlingagrass-plat,andthissetintheheavyframeoftheforest.Thehousepresewopointedgablesinitsfront;thewindowswerelattidnarrow:thefrontdoorwasnarrowtoo,oepleduptoit.Thewholelooked,asthehostoftheRochesterArmshadsaid,“quiteadesolatespot.”Itwasasstillasachuraweek-day:thepatteringrainontheforestleaveswastheonlysoundaudibleinitsviage.
“therebelifehere?”Iasked.
Yes,lifeofsomekindtherewas;forIheardamovement—thatnarrowfront-doorwasunclosing,andsomeshapewasabouttoissuefromthegrange.
Itopenedslowly:afigurecameoutintothetwilightandstoodoep;amanwithoutahat:hestretchedforthhishandasiftofeelwhetheritrained.Duskasitwas,Ihadreisedhim—itwasmymaster,EdwardFairfaxRochester,andnoother.
Istayedmystep,almostmybreath,andstoodtowatchhim—toexaminehim,myselfunseen,andalas!tohiminvisible.Itwasasuddeing,andoneinwhichrapturetwellincheckbypain.Ihadnodifficultyirainingmyvoiexclamation,mystepfromhastyadvance.
Hisformwasofthesamestrongandstalwarttourasever:hisportwasstillerect,hisheirwasstillravenblaorwerehisfeaturesalteredorsunk:notinoneyear’sspace,byanysorrow,couldhisathleticstrengthbequelledorhisvigorousprimeblighted.ButinhistenanceIsawage:thatlookeddesperateandbrooding—thatremindedmeofsedaeredwildbeastorbird,dangeroustoapproahissullehecagedeagle,whosegedeyescrueltyhasextinguished,mightlookaslookedthatsightlessSamson.
And,reader,doyouthinkIfearedhiminhisblindferocity?—ifyoudo,youlittleknowme.AsofthopeblestwithmysorrowthatsoonIshoulddaretodropakissonthatbrowofrodonthoselipssosternlysealedbehit:but.Iwouldnotaccosthimyet.
Hedesdedtheoep,andadvancedslowlyandgropinglytowardsthegrass-plat.Wherewashisdaringstridenow?Thenhepaused,asifhekwhichwaytoturedhishandandopenedhiseyelids;gazedblank,andwithastrainingeffort,onthesky,andtowardtheamphitheatreoftrees:ohatalltohimwasvoiddarkness.Hestretchedhisrighthand(theleftarm,themutilatedohiddeninhisbosom);heseemedtowishbytouchtogainanideaofwhatlayaroundhim:hemetbutvacystill;forthetreesweresomeyardsoffwherehestood.Herelinquishedtheendeavour,foldedhisarms,andstoodquietandmuteintherain,nowfallingfastonhisuncoveredhead.AtthismomentJohnapproachedhimfromsomequarter.
“Willyoutakemyarm,sir?”hesaid;“thereisaheavyshoweringon:hadyouergoin?”
“Letmealone,”wastheanswer.
Johnwithdrewwithouthavingobservedme.Mr.Rochesternowtriedtowalkabout:vainly,—allwastoouain.Hegropedhiswaybacktothehouse,aeringit,closedthedoor.
Inowdrewnearandknocked:John’swifeopenedforme.“Mary,”Isaid,“howareyou?”
Shestartedasifshehadseenaghost:Icalmedher.Toherhurried“Isitreallyyou,miss,eatthislatehourtothislonelyplace?”Iansweredbytakingherhand;andthenIfollowedherintothekit,whereJohnnowsatbyagoodfire.Iexplaihem,infewwords,thatIhadheardallwhichhadhappenedsinceIleftThornfield,andthatIwasetoseeMr.Rochester.IaskedJohntogodowntotheturn-pike-house,whereIhaddismissedthechaise,andbringmytrunk,whichIhadleftthere:andthen,whileIremovedmyboandshawl,IquestionedMaryastowhetherIcouldbeaodatedattheManorHouseforthenight;andfindingthatarraothateffect,thoughdifficult,wouldnotbeimpossible,IinformedherIshouldstay.Justatthismomenttheparlour-bellrang.
“Whenyougoin,”saidI,“tellyourmasterthatapersonwishestospeaktohim,butdonotgivemyname.”
“Idon’tthinkhewillseeyou,”sheanswered;“herefuseseverybody.”
Wheurned,Iinquiredwhathehadsaid.“Youaretosendinyournameandyourbusiness,”shereplied.Shethenproceededtofillaglasswithwater,andplaceitonatray,togetherwithdles.
“Isthatwhatherangfor?”Iasked.
“Yes:healwayshasdlesbroughtinatdark,thoughheisblind.”
“Givethetraytome;Iwillcarryitin.”
Itookitfromherhand:shepointedmeouttheparlourdoor.ThetrayshookasIheldit;thewaterspiltfromtheglass;myheartstruckmyribsloudandfast.Maryopehedoorforme,andshutitbehindme.
Thisparlourlookedgloomy:aedhandfuloffireburntlowie;and,leani,withhisheadsupportedagainstthehigh,old-fashionedmantelpiece,appearedtheblioftheroom.Hisolddog,Pilot,layononeside,removedoutoftheway,andcoiledupasifafraidofbeingientlytroddenupon.PilotprickeduphisearswhenIcamein:thenhejumpedupandawhine,andbouowardsme:healmostkhetrayfrommyhands.Isetitoable;thenpattedhim,andsaidsoftly,“Liedown!”Mr.Rochesterturnedmeicallytoseewhattheotionwas:butashesawnothiurnedandsighed.
“Givemethewater,Mary,”hesaid.
Iapproachedhimwiththenowonlyhalf-filledglass;Pilotfollowedme,stillexcited.
“Whatisthematter?”heinquired.
“Down,Pilot!”Iagainsaid.Hecheckedthewateronitswaytohislips,aolisten:hedrank,andputtheglassdown.“Thisisyou,Mary,isitnot?”
“Maryisi,”Ianswered.
Heputouthishandwithaquickgesture,butnotseeingwhereIstood,hedidnottouchme.“Whoisthis?Whoisthis?”hedemarying,asitseemed,toSEEwiththosesightlesseyes—unavailinganddistressingattempt!“Answerme—speakagain!”heordered,imperiouslyandaloud.
“Willyouhavealittlemorewater,sir?Ispilthalfofwhatwasintheglass,”Isaid.
“Whoisit?Whatisit?Whospeaks?”
“Pilotknowsme,andJohnandMaryknowIamhere.Icameonlythisevening,”Ianswered.
“GreatGod!—whatdelusionhase?Whatsweetmadnesshasseizedme?”
“Nodelusion—nomadness:yourmind,sir,istfordelusion,yourhealthtoosoundforfrenzy.”
“Andwhereisthespeaker?Isitonlyavoice?Oh!Iotsee,butImustfeel,ormyheartwillstopandmybrainburst.Whatever—whoeveryouare—beperceptibletothetouchorIotlive!”
Hegroped;Iarrestedhiswanderinghand,andprisoinbothmine.
“Herveryfingers!”hecried;“hersmall,slightfingers!Ifsotheremustbemoreofher.”
Themuscularhandbrokefrommyyarmwasseized,myshoulder—neck—waist—Iwasentwinedandgatheredtohim.
“IsitJane?Whatisit?Thisishershape—thisishersize—”
“Andthishervoice,”Iadded.“Sheisallhere:herheart,too.Godblessyou,sir!Iamgladtobesonearyouagain.”
“JaneEyre!—JaneEyre,”wasallhesaid.
“Mydearmaster,”Ianswered,“IamJaneEyre:Ihavefoundyouout—Iamebacktoyou.”
“Intruth?—intheflesh?MylivingJane?”
“Youtouchme,sir,—youholdme,andfastenough:Iamnotcoldlikeacorpse,norvatlikeair,amI?”
“Mylivingdarling!Thesearecertainlyherlimbs,andtheseherfeatures;butIotbesoblest,afterallmymisery.Itisadream;suchdreamsasIhavehadatnightwhenIhaveclaspedheroncemoretomyheart,asIdonow;andkissedher,asthus—ahatshelovedme,andtrustedthatshewouldnotleaveme.”
“Whieverwill,sir,fromthisday.”
“Neverwill,saysthevision?ButIalwayswokeandfounditaymockery;andIwasdesolateandabandoned—mylifedark,lonely,hopeless—mysoulathirstandforbiddentodrink—myheartfamishedaobefed.Gentle,softdream,linginmyarmsnow,youwillfly,too,asyoursistershaveallfledbeforeyou:butkissmebeforeyougo—embraceme,Jane.”
“There,sir—andthere!”’
Ipressedmylipstohisoncebrilliantandnowraylesseyes—Iswepthishairfromhisbrow,andkissedthattoo.Hesuddenlyseemedtoarousehimself:thevioftherealityofallthisseizedhim.
“Itisyou—isit,Jane?Youareebaethen?”
“Iam.”
“Andyoudonotliedeadidersomestream?Andyouarenotapiningoutcastamongststrangers?”
“No,sir!Iamanindepewomannow.”
“Indepe!Whatdoyoumean,Jane?”
“MyunMadeiraisdead,amefivethousandpounds.”
“Ah!thisispractical—thisisreal!”hecried:“Ishouldneverdreamthat.Besides,thereisthatpeculiarvoiceofhers,soanimatingandpiquant,aswellassoft:itcheersmywitheredheart;itputslifeintoit.—What,Ja!Areyouanindepewoman?Arian?”
“Ifyouwomelivewithyou,Ibuildahouseofmyowncloseuptoyourdoor,andyoumayeandsitinmyparlourwhenyouwantpanyofanevening.”
“Butasyouarerich,Jane,youhavenow,nodoubt,friendswhowilllookafteryou,andnotsufferyoutodevoteyourselftoablindlameterlikeme?”
“ItoldyouIamindepe,sir,aswellasrich:Iammyownmistress.”
“Andyouwillstaywithme?”
“Certainly—unlessyouobject.Iwillbeyhbour,yournurse,yourhousekeeper.Ifindyoulonely:Iwillbeyourpanion—toreadtoyou,towalkwithyou,tositwithyou,towaitonyou,tobeeyesandhandstoyou.Ceasetolooksomelanydearmaster;youshalldesolate,solongasIlive.”
Herepliednot:heseemedserious—abstracted;hesighed;hehalf-openedhislipsasiftospeak:heclosedthemagaialittleembarrassed.PerhapsIhadtoorashlyover-leapedventionalities;andhe,likeSt.John,sawimproprietyinmyinsiderateness.Ihadindeedmademyproposalfromtheideathathewishedandwouldaskmetobehiswife:aion,notthelesscertainbecauseunexpressed,hadbuoyedmeup,thathewouldclaimmeatonceashisown.Butnohinttothateffectesghimandhistenancebeingmoreovercast,IsuddenlyrememberedthatImighthavebeenallwrong,anderhapsplayingthefoolunwittingly;andIbegalytowithdrawmyselffromhisarms—butheeagerlysnatchedmecloser.
“No—no—Jane;youmustnotgo.No—Ihavetouchedyou,heardyou,feltthefortofyourpresehesweetnessofyoursolation:Iotgiveupthesejoys.Ihavelittleleftinmyself—Imusthaveyou.Theworldmaylaugh—maycallmeabsurd,selfish—butitdoesnotsignify.Myverysouldemandsyou:itwillbesatisfied,oritwilltakedeadlyvengeasframe.”
“Well,sir,Iwillstaywithyou:Ihavesaidso.”
“Yes—butyouuahingbystayingwithme;andIuandanother.You,perhaps,akeupyourmindtobeaboutmyhandandchair—towaitonmeasakindlittlenurse(foryouhaveaionateheartandagenerousspirit,whiptyoutomakesacrificesforthoseyoupity),andthatoughttosuffienodoubt.IsupposeIshouldertaifatherlyfeelingsforyou:doyouthinkso?e—tellme.”
“Iwillthinkwhatyoulike,sir:Iamtenttobeonlyyournurse,ifyouthinkitbetter.”
“Butyouotalwaysbemynurse,Ja:youareyoung—youmustmarryoneday.”
“Idon’tcareaboutbeingmarried.”
“Youshouldcare,Ja:ifIwerewhatIoncewas,Iwouldtrytomakeyoucare—but—asightlessblock!”
Herelapsedagainintogloom.I,orary,becamemorecheerful,andtookfreshce:theselastwavemeaninsightastowherethedifficultylay;andasitwasnodifficultywithme,Ifeltquiterelievedfrommypreviousembarrassment.Iresumedalivelierveinofversation.
“Itistimesomeoneuooktorehumaniseyou,”saidI,partinghisthidlonguncutlocks;“forIseeyouarebeiamorphosedintoalion,orsomethingofthatsort.Youhavea‘fauxair’ofNebuezzarinthefieldsaboutyou,thatiscertain:yourhairremindsmeofeagles’feathers;whetheryournailsaregrownlikebirds’clawsornot,Ihaveiced.”
“Onthisarm,Ihaveherhandnornails,”hesaid,drawiilatedlimbfromhisbreast,andshowingittome.“Itisamerestump—aghastlysight!Don’tyouthinkso,Jane?”
“Itisapitytoseeit;andapitytoseeyoureyes—andthescaroffireonyourforehead:andtheworstofitis,oneisindangeroflovingyoutoowellforallthis;andmakingtoomuchofyou.”
“Ithoughtyouwouldberevolted,Jane,whenyousawmyarm,andmycicatrisedvisage.”
“Didyou?Don’ttellmeso—lestIshouldsaysomethingdisparagingtment.Now,letmeleaveyouaninstant,tomakeabetterfire,andhavethehearthsweptup.youtellwhenthereisagoodfire?”
“Yes;withtherighteyeIseeaglow—aruddyhaze.”
“Andyouseethedles?”
“Verydimly—eachisaluminouscloud.”
“youseeme?”
“No,myfairy:butIamonlytoothankfultohearandfeelyou.”
“Whendoyoutakesupper?”
“Iakesupper.”
“Butyoushallhavesometo-night.Iamhungry:soareyou,Idaresay,onlyyet.”
SummoningMary,Isoonhadtheroominmorecheerfulorder:Ipreparedhim,likewise,afortablerepast.Myspiritswereexcited,andwithpleasureandeaseItalkedtohimduringsupper,andforalongtimeafter.Therewasnoharassiraint,norepressingofgleeandvivacitywithhim;forwithhimIerfectease,becauseIknewIsuitedhim;allIsaidordidseemedeithertosoleorrevivehim.Delightfulsciousness!Itbroughttolifeandlightmywholenature:inhispresehhlylived;andhelivedinmine.Blindashewas,smilesplayedoverhisface,joydawnedonhisforehead:hislissoftenedandwarmed.
Aftersupper,hebegantoaskmemaions,ofwhereIhadbeen,whatIhadbeendoing,howIhadfoundhimout;butIgavehimonlyverypartialreplies:itwastoolatetoeoparticularsthatnight.Besides,Iwishedtotouodeep-thrillingchord—toopennofreshwellofemotioninhisheart:mysolepresentaimwastocheerhim.Cheered,asIhavesaid,hewas:abyfits.Ifamoment’ssilencebroketheversation,hewouldturless,touchme,thensay,“Jane.”
“Youarealtogetherahumanbeing,Jane?Youarecertainofthat?”
“Istiouslybelieveso,Mr.Rochester.”
“Yethow,onthisdarkanddolefulevening,couldyousosuddenlyriseonmyloh?Istretchedmyhandtotakeaglassofwaterfromahireling,anditwasgivenmebyyou:Iaskedaquestion,expegJohn’swifetoanswerme,andyourvoicespokeatmyear.”
“BecauseIhadein,inMary’sstead,withthetray.”
“AndthereisentmentintheveryhourIamnowspendingwithyou.Whotellwhatadark,dreary,hopelesslifeIhavedraggedonformonthspast?Doingnothing,expegnothing;mergingnightinday;feelingbutthesensationofcoldwhehefiregoout,ofhungerwhenIfottoeat:andthenaceaselesssorrow,and,attimes,averydeliriumofdesiretobeholdmyJaneagain.Yes:forherrestorationIlonged,farmorethanforthatofmylostsight.HowitbethatJaneiswithme,andsaysshelovesme?Willsheassuddenlyasshecame?To-morrow,IfearIshallfindhernomore.”
Aonplace,practicalreply,outofthetrainofhisowndisturbedideas,was,Iwassure,thebestandmostreassuringforhiminthisframeofmind.Ipassedmyfingeroverhiseyebrows,andremarkedthattheywerescorched,andthatIwouldapplysomethingwhiakethemgrowasbroadandblackasever.
“Whereistheuseofdoingmegoodinanyway,benefitspirit,when,atsomefatalmoment,youwillagaime—passinglikeashadow,whitherandhowtomeunknown,andformeremainingafterwardsundiscoverable?
“Haveyouapocket-baboutyou,sir?”
“Whatfor,Jane?”
“Justtoboutthisshaggyblae.Ifindyouratheralarming,whenIexamineyoucloseathand:youtalkofmybeingafairy,butIamsure,youaremorelikeabrownie.”
“AmIhideous,Jane?”
“Very,sir:youalwayswere,youknow.”
“Humph!Thewiesshasakenoutofyou,whereveryouhavesojourned.”
“YetIhavebeenwithgoodpeople;farbetterthanyou:ahuimesbetterpeople;possessedofideasandviewsyouertainedinyourlife:quitemorerefinedaed.”
“Whothedeucehaveyoubeenwith?”
“Ifyoutwistinthatwayyouwillmakemepullthehairoutofyourhead;ahinkyouwillceasetoeaindoubtsofmysubstantiality.”
“Whohaveyoubeenwith,Jane?”
“Youshalloutofmeto-night,sir;youmustwaittillto-morrow;toleavemytalehalftold,will,youknow,beasortofsecuritythatIshallappearatyourbreakfasttabletofinishit.Bythebye,Imustmindnottoriseonyourhearthwithonlyaglassofwaterthen:Imustbritheleast,tosaynothingoffriedham.”
“Youmoggeling—fairy-bornandhuman-bred!YoumakemefeelasIhavehesetwelvemonths.IfSaulcouldhavehadyouforhisDavid,theevilspiritwouldhavebeenexorcisedwithouttheaidoftheharp.”
“There,sir,youarereddupandmadedet.NowI’llleaveyou:Ihavebeentravellingtheselastthreedays,andIbelieveIamtired.Goodnight.”
“Justoneword,Jahereonlyladiesinthehousewhereyouhavebeen?”
Ilaughedandmademyescape,stilllaughingasIranupstairs.“Agoodidea!”Ithoughtwithglee.“IseeIhavethemeansoffrettinghimoutofhismelancholyforsometimetoe.”
VeryearlythemIheardhimupandastir,wanderingfromoneroomtoanother.AssoonasMarycamedowhequestion:“IsMissEyrehere?”Then:“Whididyouputherinto?Wasitdry?Issheup?Goandaskifshewantsanything;andwhenshewilledown.”
IcamedownassoonasIthoughtthererospectofbreakfast.Enteringtheroomverysoftly,Ihadaviewofhimbeforehediscoveredmypresewasmournful,iowithesubjugationofthatvigorousspirittoacorporealinfirmity.Hesatinhischair—still,butnotatrest:expetevidently;thelinesofnowhabitualsadnessmarkinghisstroures.Histenanceremindedoneofalampquenched,waitingtobere-lit—andalas!itwasnothimselfthatcouldnowkihelustreofanimatedexpression:heeonanotherforthatoffice!Ihadmeanttobegayandcareless,butthepowerlessnessofthestrongmantouchedmyhearttothequick:stillIaccostedhimwithwhatvivacityIcould.
“Itisabright,sunnym,sir,”Isaid.“Therainisone,andthereisatendershiningafterit:youshallhaveawalksoon.”
Ihadwakeheglow:hisfeaturesbeamed.
“Oh,youareihere,myskylark!etome.Youarenotgovanished?Iheardoneofyourkindanho,singinghighoverthewood:butitssonghadnomusie,anymorethantherisingsunhadrays.AllthemelodyohistratedinmyJaoomyear(Iamgladitisnotnaturallyasilentone):allthesunshineIfeelisinherpresence.”
Thewaterstoodiohearthisavowalofhisdependence;justasifaroyaleagle,edtoaperch,shouldbeforcedtoeasparrowtobeeitspurveyor.ButIwouldnotbelachrymose:Idashedoffthesaltdrops,andbusiedmyselfwithpreparingbreakfast.
Mostofthementintheopenair.Iledhimoutofthewetandwildwoodintosomecheerfulfields:Idescribedtohimhowbrilliantlygreentheywere;howtheflowersandhedgeslookedrefreshed;howsparklinglybluewasthesky.Isoughtaseatforhiminahiddenandlovelyspot,adrystumpofatree;nordidIrefusetolethim,wheed,placemeonhisknee.WhyshouldI,whenbothheandIwerehappierhanapart?Pilotlaybesideus:allwasquiet.Hebrokeoutsuddenlywhileclaspingmeinhisarms—
“Cruel,crueldeserter!Oh,Jane,whatdidIfeelwhenIdiscoveredyouhadfledfromThornfield,andwhenIcouldnowherefindyou;and,afterexaminingyourapartment,ascertaihatyouhadtakennomoney,noranythingwhichcouldserveasanequivalent!ApearlnecklaceIhadgivenyoulayuntouchedinitslittlecasket;yourtrunkswereleftcordedandlockedastheyhadbeenpreparedforthebridaltour.Whatydarlingdo,Iasked,leftdestituteandpenniless?Andwhatdidshedo?Letmehearnow.”
Thusurged,Ibeganthenarrativeofmyexperiehelastyear.Isoftenedsiderablywhatrelatedtothethreedaysofwanderingandstarvation,becausetohavetoldhimallwouldhavebeentoinfliecessarypaileIdidsaylaceratedhisfaithfulheartdeeperthanIwished.
Ishouldnothavelefthimthus,hesaid,withoutanymeansofmakingmyway:Ishouldhavetoldhimmyiion.Ishouldhavefidedinhim:hewouldneverhaveforcedmetobehismistress.Violentashehadseemedinhisdespair,he,intruth,lovedmefartoowellandtooteostitutehimselfmytyrant:hewouldhavegivenmehalfhisfortuhoutdemandingsomuchasakissiurn,ratherthanIshouldhaveflungmyselffriendlessonthewideworld.Ihadendured,hewascertain,morethanIhadfessedtohim.
“Well,whatevermysufferingshadbeen,theywereveryshort,”Ianswered:andthenIproceededtotellhimhowIhadbeenreceivedatMoorHouse;howIhadobtaiheofficeofsistress,&c.Theaccessionoffortuhediscoveryofmyrelations,followedindueorder.Ofcourse,St.JohnRivers’namecameinfrequentlyintheprogressofmytale.WhenIhaddohatnamewasimmediatelytakenup.
“ThisSt.John,then,isyourcousin?”
“Yes.”
“Youhavespokenofhimoften:doyoulikehim?”
“Hewasaverygoodman,sir;Icouldnothelplikinghim.”
“Agoodmahatmeanarespectablewell-ductedmanoffifty?Orwhatdoesitmean?”
“StJohnwasonlytwenty-nine,sir.”
“‘Jeuneencore,’astheFrenchsay.Isheapersonoflowstature,phlegmatidplain.Apersonwhosegoodnesssistsratherinhisguiltlessnessofvice,thaninhisprowessinvirtue.”
“Heisuntiringlyactive.Greataeddeedsarewhathelivestoperform.”
“Buthisbrain?Thatisprobablyrathersoft?Hemeanswell:butyyourshoulderstohearhimtalk?”
“Hetalkslittle,sir:whathedoessayisevertothepoint.Hisbrainisfirst-rate,Ishouldthinknotimpressible,butvigorous.”
“Isheanableman,then?”
“Trulyable.”
“Athhlyeducatedman?”
“St.Johnisanaplishedandprofoundscholar.”
“Hismanners,Ithink,yousaidarenottoyourtaste?—priggishandparsonic?”
“Inevermentionedhismanners;but,unlessIhadaverybadtaste,theymustsuitit;theyarepolished,calm,alemanlike.”
“Hisappearance,—Ifetwhatdescriptionyougaveofhisappearance;—asortofrawcurate,halfstrahhiswhiteneckcloth,andstilteduponhisthick-soledhigh-lows,eh?”
“St.Johndresseswell.Heisahandsomeman:tall,fair,withblueeyes,andaGreprofile.”
(Aside.)“Damnhim!”—(Tome.)“Didyoulikehim,Jane?”
“Yes,Mr.Rochester,Ilikedhim:butyouaskedmethatbefore.”
Iperceived,ofcourse,thedriftofmyinterlocutor.Jealousyhadgotholdofhim:shestunghim;butthestingwassalutary:itgavehimrespitefromthegnawingfangofmelancholy.Iwouldnot,therefore,immediatelycharmthesnake.
“Perhapsyouwouldrathernotsitanylongeronmyknee,MissEyre?”wasthesomewhatuedobservation.
“Whynot,Mr.Rochester?”
“Thepictureyouhavejustdrawnissuggestiveofarathertoooverwhelmingtrast.YourwordshavedeliedveryprettilyagracefulApollo:heispresenttination,—tall,fair,blue-eyed,andwithaGreprofile.YoureyesdwellonaVul,—arealblacksmith,brown,broad-shouldered:andblindandlameintothebargain.”
“Ihoughtofit,before;butyoucertainlyareratherlikeVul,sir.”
“Well,youleaveme,ma’am:butbeforeyougo”(aainedmebyafirmergraspthanever),“youwillbepleasedjusttoanswermeaquestionortwo.”Hepaused.
“Whatquestions,Mr.Rochester?”
Thenfollowedthiscross-examination.
“St.JohnmadeyousistressofMortonbeforeheknewyouwerehiscousin?”
“Yes.”
“Youwouldoftenseehim?Hewouldvisitthesetimes?”
“Daily.”
“Hewouldapproveofyourplans,Jane?Iknowtheywouldbeclever,foryouareatalentedcreature!”
“Heapprovedofthem—yes.”
“Hewoulddisanythingsinyouhecouldnothaveexpectedtofind?Someofyouraplishmentsarenotordinary.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
“Youhadalittlecottageheschool,yousay:didheeveretheretoseeyou?”
“Nowandthen?”
“Ofanevening?”
“Owice.”
Apause.
“Howlongdidyouresidewithhimandhissistersafterthecousinshipwasdiscovered?”
“Fivemonths.”
“DidRiversspendmuchtimewiththeladiesofhisfamily?”
“Yes;thebackparlourwasbothhisstudyandours:hesathewindow,ahetable.”
“Didhestudymuch?”</松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
推荐自己的新书《天命讨债人》齐天大魔猴
桀骜齐天圣，铮铮大魔猴
第817章 四公子当真与众不同？清穿后每天被迫撩
【欢脱独宠，沙雕撩夫日
新书《谜城》开启神峰
一次偶然， 他踏足修
第270章 酒吧偶遇网游之影子大师
我，在黑夜中行走 我
007儿女成群婚城难入
十八岁的她，一心想用高
第四百一十六章 邀请剑神之剑弑乾坤
《剑神之剑弑乾坤》是一
声明：本站所收录之:Jane Eyre- Chapter 37、言情小说、玄幻、网游小说、及短篇作品、均为本站作者及网友上传。
并不代表本站立场!本站亦无法严格审:Jane Eyre最新章节其版权归属。如您对Jane EyreTXT下载持有版权方面的异议，请联系本站客服。我们将于72小时内处理。
Copyright (C) 2019 All Rights Reserved 版权所有：松语文学
并不代表本站立场!本站亦无法严格审:Jane Eyre最新章节其版权归属。如您对Jane EyreTXT下载持有版权方面的异议，请联系本站客服。我们将于72小时内处理。
Copyright (C) 2019 All Rights Reserved 版权所有：松语文学