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Overture and Incidental Music for A Midsummer Nigh

  CallmetheGoldenHerm.

  Mymotherboremeihernwildbut,"she,beingmortal,ofthatboydiddie,"asmyAuntTitaniasays,though"boy"inthecircumstancesispushingit,abit,shessme,there,shesrenderingmeunambiguousiogetthecastingdirectoroutofatightspot.For"boy"iscorrect,asfarasitgoes,butinsuffit.NoristhesweetSouthintheleastwild,oh,dear,no!Itisthelovelylahelemrow,multipliedfarbeyomostreachesofyourstultifiedEuropotricimaginations.ChildofthesunamI,andofthebreezes,juicyasmahatmythopoeicallycaresstheCoastofandelfarawayontheporphyryandlapislazuliIndianshorewhereeverythingisbrightandpreciseaslacquer.

  MyAuntTitania.Not,Ishouldassureyou,mynaturalaunt,nobloodbond,noknotoftheumbilithee,butmymothersbestfriend,towhom,beforeshedeparted,sheentrustedme,and,therefore,alwayscalledbyme"auntie".

  Titania,she,thegreatfat,showy,pinkandblohing,theMemsahib,Icallher,Au-tit-tit-ania(forhertitsarethethingsyounoticefirst,sizeeballoons),Tit-tit-tit-omaniaboxedmeupinatrunksheboughtfromtheArmyandNavyStores,labelledit"WantedonVoyage"(oh,yes,indeed!)andshippedmehere.

  Here!to--Atishoo!--catchmydeathofcoldinthisdrippingbastardwood.Rain,rain,rain,rain,rain!

  "FlamingJune",thesarcasticfairiesmutter,lookingglum,aswelltheymight,poordears,theirlittlewingsallsoddenandplasteredtotheirbacks,sowater-loggedtheyhardlytakeoffandnosoonerairborhantheyfouhepeltingdownpour,crash-landamongtheplashybrafurlsamidmuchpiteoussqueaking."Neversuchweather,"plainthefairies,amidthebrakesofrosesputtingon--Imustadmit--abraveifpastel-colouredfloralshowamidsttheinclemencyoftheweather,adishesofthepalewildrosesspilloverwiththeraindropsthathavecollectedupohebushesshudderinthereverberationsofdozensanddozensofteenytinysneezes,fornoplatheirweenyanatomiestostoreahandkerchiefandallthefairieshavegotshogcoldsaswellasI.

  Nothinginmyprincely,exquisite,peacock-jewelledhereditypreparedmeforthedank,grey,Englishmidsummer.Amidsummernightmare,Icallit.Thewhirlingwindshavewrehelimbsoffeventhehugestoaksandbroughtdownaltogetherthemoretotteryelmssothattheysprawllikecollapseddrunksathwartdishevelledfairyrings.Thunder,lightning,and,atnight,theblazingstarswhizzdownandbombthewood...nothingtemperateaboutyourtemperateclimate,dear,IsnapatAuntTitania,butsheblamesitallonUncleOberon,whosehuffexpressesitselfinthunderandhemakesitrainwhenheabuseshimself,whichitwouldseemhemustdoalmostallthetime,thinkingofme,thewhile,nodoubt.OfME!

  ForOberonispassingfellandwrath

  Becausethatshe,asherattendanthath

  Alovelyboy,stolenfromanIndianking;

  Sheneverhadsosweetageling;

  AndjealousOberonwouldhavethechild!

  "Boy"again,see;whitthehalfofit.Misinformatioriarchalversion.Nokinghadnothingtodowithit;itwasallbetweenmymotherandmyauntie,wasntit.

  Besides,isachildtobestolen?iven?Ortaken?Orsoldinbondage,dammit?AretheseblondeEnglishfairiestheagentsofproto-ialism?

  Toallthis,iopreservemyplicatediy,Ipresentafa?adeofpassiveopposition.Iamhere.Iam.

  IamHerm,shortforhermaphroditeverus,ois,oneovary,halfofeachbutallpleteandmore,muchmore,thanthesumofmyparts.Thiselegantlyretractableappendage,here...isnotthetribadeswell-developedclit,buttheveritablereproductiveerectiletissue,whilethevelvet-lippedanddeliciouslyclosableaperturebelowitis,Iassureyou,aviableaveheender.Sothere.

  Takealook.Imnotshy.Impressive,huh?

  AndIamcalledtheGoldenHerm,foldallover;whenIwasboriny,playfulcherubsfilledtheircheeksandlungsandblew,blewthepaperysheetsofbeatengoldallovermyinfantlimbs,towhichtheystudg.Seemeshine!

  AndhereIstand,uhedrippingtrees,inthelong,rank,soakinggrassamletaildog-daisiesandthebrancheddelabrasofthebuttercupsfromwhomthegustyrainhasknockedoffallthepetals,leavingtheirwartygreenheadsbald.Andthebloodyesbill.Aingiles,thosePuesemen-o-warofthewoodland,whogavemesomanynastyshockswhenIfirstmetthem.Andpease-blossomandmustard-seedandinnumerableunknown-to-meweeds,thedreary,washed-out,pinks,yellowsandCambridgebluesofthem.B.Intheunderpinningsofthetrees,allsoggyandfloralasWilliamMorrisaperinanabandonedhouse,I,ioretainmyequilibriumandpsychicbalance,meditateintheyogicpostureknownasTheTree,thatis,ononeleg.

  Bearerofbotharrowandtarget,woundandbow,spoonandper,ihandIholdalotus,lookingabittheworseforwearbynow.Mysnakecoilsroundmyotherarm.

  Iamgolden,starknakedandbi-partite.

  Onmygoldenface,afixed,archai.Exceptwhen--

  Atishoo!

  Damnoctaloncoldvirus.

  Atishoo.

  TheGoldeoodinthegreenwood.

  Thiswoodis,ofcourse,nowherehens;thescriptisapositivemazeoffalseleads.ThewoodisreallylocatedsomewhereintheEnglishmidlands,possiblynearBletchley,wherethegreatdegmaewassited.Corre:thiswoodwaslocatedintheEnglishmidlandsuntiloak,ashandthornwerechoppeddowntomakeroomforamotorwayafewyearsago.However,sihewoodexistedonlyasastructureoftheimagination,inthefirstplace,itwillremain,inthesedplace,asagreen,decorativemargintotheeternitythepoetpromisedforhimself.TheEnglishpoet;hisis,essentially,anEnglishwood.ItistheEnglishwood.

  TheEnglishwoodisnothinglikethedark,neanticforestinwhichtheNorthernEuropeanimaginationbeginsandends,whereitsdeadacheslive,andBaba-yagastalksaboutinherhousewithchisfeetlookingforchildrenioeatthem.No.Thereisaqualitative,notaquantitative,differeweenthiswoodandthatforest.Thedifferencedoesjustbecauseawoodtaireesthanaforestandcoverslessground.Thatisjustohecausesofthedifferenddoesnotexplaintheeffectsofthedifference.

  Forexample,anEnglishwood,howevermarvellous,howevermetamorphinot,bydefinitiorackless,althoughitmightwellbeformidablylabyrinthihereisalwaysawayoutofamaze,and,evenifyouotfinditforawhile,youknowthatitisthere.Amazeisastructofthehumanmind,andnotu;lostinthewood,thisanalogywillalwayssole.Buttobelostintheforestistobelosttothisworld,tobeabahelight,toloseyourselfutterlywithnoguaranteeyouwilleitherfindyourselforelsebefound,tobeittedagainstyourwill--or,worse,ofyourowndesire--toaperpetualabsence;fromhumanity,aentialcatastrophe,fortheforestisasinfinitelyboundlessasthehuma.

  Butthewoodisfinite,aclosure;youpurposelymislayyourwayinthewood,forthesakeofthepleasureofroving,thetemporaryfusionofdireisiureofaholidayfromwhichyouwillehomerefreshed,withyourpocketsfullofnuts,yourhandsfullofwildflowersafeatherofabirdinyourcap.Thatforestishauhiswoodisented.

  Theveryperilsofthewood,somanyaudio-visualaidstoapleasurabletitillationofmildfear;theswiftrattleofanasdingpheasathudofanlideofthefox--thesemayall"giveyht",but,here,herhobgoblinnorfoulfienddauntyourspiritbecausetheEnglishlobsandhobsrefleothingmorethanasecularfaithintheabsenceofharminnature,partofthecreditsheetofatemperateclimate.(Herethat,Herm?Notigersburnbright,here;noscalypythons,noarmouredscorpions.)SihelastEnglishwolfwaskilled,thereisnothingsavageamoreestoterrifyyou.Allismellowieredlight,whereRobinWood,thefertilityspirit,lurksinthegreenshade;thiswoodiskindtolovers.

  Indeed,youmightcallthewoodtheongardenofthevillage,agardenalmostasiionallywildasoneofBas"naturalwildernesses",whereeverytoadcarriesajewelinitsheadandalltheflowershavenames,nothingisunknown--thiskindofwildernessisnotanotherness.

  Andalwayssomethi!MotherNaturesgreengrocerystore;sorrelforsoup,mushrooms,dandelionandchickweed--theresyoursalad,mintandthymeforseasoning,wildstrawberriesandblackberriesand,iumn,aplenitudeofnuts.Nebuezzar,inanEnglishwood,havefinedhisappetitetograss.

  TheEnglishwoodoffersusaglimpseofagreen,unfallenworldalittleclosertoParadisethanweare.

  SuchistheEnglishwoodinwhichweseethefamiliarfairies,theblunderingfiaherudemeicals.ThisisthetrueShakespearianwood--butitisnotthewoodofShakespearestime,whichdidnotknowitselftobeShakespearian,andthereforefeltokeepupappearano.Thewoodwehavejustdescribedisthatofeenth-turynostalgia,whichdisiedthewood,singitofthegrave,hideousaalbeingswithwhichthesuperstitionofanearlieragehadfilledit.Or,rather,denaturing,castratingthesebeingsuntiltheycametolookjustastheydointhosephotographsoffairyfolkthatsoenrapturedDoyle.ItisMendelssohnswood.

  "Eheseentedwoods..."whocouldresistsuchamagivitation?

  However,asitturnsout,theVictoriansdidhewoodsinquitethestatetheymighthavewishedtofindthem.

  ThePuckwasobsessivelyfasatedbytheexoticvisitor.Insomerespects,itwastheattraofopposites,for,whereastheGoldenHermwassm-o-o-o-th,thePuckwashairy.OnthesechillnightsofJune,Pusidehishairypeltwastheonlyowarmatall.Hairy.Shaggy.Especiallyaboutthethighs.(And,hm,onthepalmsofhishands.)

  ShaggyasaShetlandponywhennakedandsometimesgoesonallfours.Whenhegoesonallfours,hewhinnies;orelsehebarks.

  Heisthelub,thelubberfiend,andsometimesheplaysatbei-brownhouse-spriteforwhomabowlofmilkisleftoutsidethedoor,although,ifyouwanttoberidofhim,youmustleavehimapairoftrousers;hethinksagiftoftrousersisaninsulttohissex,ofwhichheismostproud.inginhisluxuriantpubiccurls,thatgleamwiththedeep-friedglossofthewosofGrinlingGibbons,seehistesticles,wrinkledripeasmedlars.

  Puckloveshokey-pokeyandpeek-a-boo.Hehasrelationsallovertheplace--inId,thepuki;theDevonshirepixy;thespookoftheLowtriesareallhisofkinandnotohemisuptoanygood.ThatPuck!

  ThetetleexiguitiesthatclusterroundtheQueenoftheFairiesdonotliketoplaywiththePuckbecauseheisshandripstheirpaintedwingsiagandpullsthephantasmallegsoffthegreygnatsthatdrawTitaniasweecoachthroughtheair,kissesthegirlsandmakesthemcry,creepsupandswiweenthepuce,ithyphallicfoxglovespiresaboveTitaniasbedsotheraindropsfallandscatterinadrengshoshewakes.Spiteful!

  Puomorepolymorphouslyperversethanalltherestofthesesub-microscopicparticles,hispeers,yetthereissomethingparticularlyrandoffensiveabouthisbuggeryandhisundinismandhisfrotteurismandhisscopophiliaandhis--indeed,myverypaperwouldblush,gopinkasaninvoice,shouldIwritedownuponitsomeofthethingsPuckgetsuptodowninthereedsbytheriver,asheisdistantlyrelatedtothegreatbadgodPanand,wheninthemood,behavesinamannerunoninanEnglishwood,althoughfamiliarintheEnglishpublicschool.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读