CHAPTER 2
StOggsPassesJudgment
ITwassoonknownthroughoutStOggsthatMissTulliverwaseback:shehadnot,then,elopediobemarriedtoMrStephe-atallevents,MrStephehadnotmarriedher-whichcametothesamething,sofarasherculpabilitywased.Wejudgeothersacctoresults;howelse?-notknowingtheprocessbywhichresultsarearrivedat.IfMissTulliver,afterafewmonthsofwell-chosentravel,hadreturnedasMrsStephe-ost-maritaltrousseauandalltheadvantagespossessedevenbythemostunwelewifeofanonlyson,publiion,whichatStOggs,aselsewhere,alwaysknewwhattothink,wouldhavejudgedinstrisistencywiththoseresults.Publiion,inthesecases,isalwaysofthefemininegender-nottheworld,buttheworldswife:andshewouldhaveseen,thattwohandsomeyoungpeople-thegentlemanofquitethefirstfamilyinStOggs-havingfoundthemselvesinafalseposition,hadbeeoacourse,which,tosaytheleastofit,washighlyinjudicious,andproductiveofsadpainanddisappoi,especiallytothatsweetyoungthing,MissDeane.MrStephehadcertainlynotbehavedwell;butthen,youngmenwereliabletothosesuddeninfatuatedattats-andbadasitmightseeminMrsStepheoadmitthefaiadvancesfromhercousinslover(ihadbeensaidthatshewasactuallyeoyoungWakem-oldWakemhimselfhadmentio)stillshewasveryyoung-`andadeformedyoungman,youknow!-andyousoveryfasating,and,theysay,hepositivelyworshippedher(tobesure,thattlast!)andheranawaywithheriquiteagainstherwill-andwhatcouldshedo?Shecouldntebackthen:noonewouldhavespokentoher.Andhowverywellthatmaize-colouredsatiebeesherplexion-itseemsasifthefoldsinfrontwerequiteein-severalofherdressesaremadeso-theysay,hethinksnothingtoohandsometobuyforher.PoorMissDeane!Sheisverypitiable-butthen,thereositivee-andtheairatthecoastwilldood.Afterall,ifyoufeltnomoreforherthanthat,itwasbetterforhernottomarryhim.WhatawonderfulmarriagefirllikeMissTulliver-quiteromantic!Why-youwillputupforthebhattheion.Nothinglikeerowadays!ThatyoungWakemnearlywentoutofhismind-healwayswasratherqueer;buthesgoneabroadagaioftheway-quitethebestthingforadeformedyoungman.MissUnitdeclaresshewillnevervisitMrandMrsStephe-susense!pretendingtobebetterthanotherpeople.Societycouldntbecarriedonifweinquiredintoprivateduthatway-andChristianitytellsustothinknoevil-andmybeliefis,thatMissUnithadnocardssenther.Buttheresults,weknow,werenotofakindtowarrantthisextenuationofthepast.Maggiehadreturhoutatrousseau,withoutahusband-inthatdegradedandoutcastditiontowhicherroriswellknowntolead;andtheworldswife,withthatfiinctwhichisgivenherforthepreservationofsociety,sawatoMissTulliversducthadbeenofthemostaggravatedkind.Couldanythingbemoredetestable?-Agirlsomudebtedtoherfriends-whosemotheraswellasherselfhadreceivedsomudnessfromtheDeaolaythedesignofwinningayoungmansaffesawayfromherowncousinwhohadbehavedlikeasistertoher?Winninghisaffes?ThatwasnotthephraseforsuchagirlasMissTulliver:itwouldhavebeenmorecorrecttosaythatshehadbeenactuatedbymereunwomanlyboldnessandunbridledpassion.Therewasalwayssomethiionableabouther.ThatewithyoungWakem,which,theysaid,hadbeencarriedonforyears,lookedveryill:disgusting,infact!Butwithagirlofthatdisposition!-totheworldswifetherehadalwaysbeehinginMissTulliversveryphysiquethatarefinedinstiobepropheticofharm.AsforpoorMrStephe,hewasratherpitiablethanotherwise:ayoungmanoffiveayisnottobetooseverelyjudgedinthesecases-heisreallyverymuchatthemercyofadesigningboldgirl.Anditwasclearthathehadgivenwayinspiteofhimself-hehadshakenheroffassoonashecould:iheirhavingpartedsosoonlookedverybladeed-forher.Tobesurehehadwritteer,layingalltheblameonhimself,andtellioryinaromanticfashionsoastotryandmakeherappearquitei:ofcoursehecoulddothat!Buttherefinedinstinctoftheworldswifewasnottobedeceived:providentially!-elsewhatwouldbeeofsociety?Why-herownbrotherhadturnedherfromhisdoor-hehadseenenough,youmightbesure,beforehewoulddothat.Atrulyrespectableyoungman-MrTomTulliver-quitelikelytoriseintheworld!Hissistersdisgracewasnaturallyaheavyblowtohim.Itwastobehopedthatshewouldgooutoftheneighbourhood-toAmerica,oranywhere-soastopurifytheairofStOggsfromthetaintofherpreseremelydangeroustodaughtersthere!Nogoodcouldhappentoher:-itwasonlytobehopedshewouldrepent,andthatGodwouldhavemerher:HehadnotthecareofsocietyonHishandsastheworldswifehad.
Itrequirednearlyafhtforfiincttoassureitselfoftheseinspirations;iwasawholeweekbeforeStepheercame,tellinghisfatherthefadaddingthat:hewasgoneacrosstoHolland-haddrawnupontheagentatMudportformoney-wasincapableofanyresolutionatpresent.
Maggie,allthiswhile,wastooentirelyfilledwithamonisingaospendanythoughtontheviewthatwasbeingtakenofherductbytheworldofStOggs:ayaboutStephen-Lucy-Philip-beatonherpoorheartinahard,driving,ceaselessstormofmingledlove,remorse,andpity.Ifshehadthoughtofrejeandinjusticeatall,itwouldhaveseemedtoherthattheyhaddoheirworst-thatshecouldhardlyfeelanystrokefromthemintolerablesihewordsshehadheardfromherbrotherslips.Acrossallherayforthelovedandtheihosewordsshotagainandagain,likeahorriblepangthatwouldhavebroughtmiseryanddreadevenintoaheavenofdelights.Theideaofeverrechappinessneverglimmeredinhermindforamoment;itseemedasifeverysensitivefibreinherweretooentirelypreoccupiedbypaiovibrateagaintoanotherinfluence.Lifestretchedbeforeherasoofpenitendallshecravedasshedweltourelot,wassomethingtoguaranteeherfrommorefalling:herownweaknesshauntedherlikeavisionofhideouspossibilitiesthatmadenopeaceivableexceptsuchaslayinthesenseofasurerefuge.
Butshewasnotwithoutpractitentions:theloveofindependeaandahabitforhernottorememberthatshemustgetherbreadaherprojectslookedvague,shefellbathatofreturningtoherplainsewing,andsogettingenoughtopayfingatBobs.ShemeanttopersuadehermothertoreturntotheMillbyandby,andlivewithTomagain;andsomehoworothershewouldmaintainherselfatStOggs.DrKennwouldperhapshelpherandadviseher:sherememberedhispartingwordsatthebazaar,sherememberedthemomentaryfeelingofreliahadsprunginherwhealkingwithher,aedwithyearningexpectationfortheopportunityoffidihingtohim.HermothercalledeverydayatMrDeaolearnhowLucywas:thereportwasalwayssad-nothinghadyetrousedherfromthefeeblepassivitywhichhadeonwiththefirstshock.ButofPhilip,MrsTulliverhadlearhing:naturally,noonewhomshemetwouldspeaktoheraboutwhatrelatedthter.Butatlast,shesummonedcetogoaerGlegg,whoofcoursewouldknoweverything,andhadeveoseeTomattheMillinMrsTulliversabsehoughhehadsaidnothingofwhathadpassedontheoccasion.
Assooherwasgone,Maggieputonherbo.ShehadresolvedonwalkingtotheRectoryandaskingtoseeDrKenn:hewasindeepgrief-butthegriefofanotherdoesnotjaruponusinsuchcircumstawasthefirsttimeshehadbeenbeyondthedoorsiurhelesshermindwassobentonthepurposeofherwalk,thattheunpleasantnessofmeetingpeopleonthewayandbeingstaredat,didnotoccurtoher.ButshehadnosoonerpassedbeyondthenarrowerstreetswhichshehadtothreadfromBobsdwelling,thanshebecameawareofunusualglancescastather;andthissciousnessmadeherhurryalongnervously,afraidtolohtorleft.Presently,however,shecamefullonMrsandMissTurnbull,oldacquaintancesofherfamily;theybothlookedatherstrangelyandturnedalittleasidewithoutspeaking.AllhardlookswerepaintoMaggie,butherself-reproachwastforrese:nowoheywillnotspeaktome,shethought-theyareveryfondofLucy.Butnowshekhatshewasabouttopassagroupofgentlemen,whowerestandingatthedoorofthebilliard-rooms,andshecouldnothelpseeingyoungTorrystepoutalittlewithhisglassathiseye,andbowtoherwiththatairofnonchalancewhichhemighthavebestowedonafriendlybar-maid.Maggiespridewastoointenseforhernottofeelthatstihemidstofhersorrow;andforthefirsttimethethoughttoholdofherthatshewouldhaveotherobloquycastonherbesidesthatwhichwasfelttobeduetoherbreachoffaithtowardsLucy.ButshewasattheRectorynow;there,perhaps,shewouldfindsomethihaributioributionmayefromanyvoice-thehardest,cruelest,mostimbruteduratthestreet-erflictit:surelyhelpandpityarerarerthings-moreneedfulfortherighteoustobestow.
Shewasshownupatoerbeingannounced,intoDrKennsstudy,wherehesatamongstpiled-upbooks,forwhichhehadlittleappetite,leaninghischeekagainsttheheadofhisyouchild,agirlofthree.Thechildwassentawaywiththeservantahedoorwasclosed,DrKennsaid,plagachairfie,
`Iwasingtoseeyou,MissTulliver-youhaveanticipatedme-Iamgladyoudid.
Maggielookedathimwithherchildlikedireessasshehaddohebazaar,andsaid,`Iwanttotellyoueverything.Buthereyesfilledfastwithtearsasshesaidit,andallthepent-upexcitementofherhumiliatingwalkwouldhaveitsventbeforeshecouldsaymore.
`Dotellmeeverything,DrKennsaid,withquietkindnessinhisgravefirmvoice.`Thinkofmeasoowhomalongexperiencehasbeengranted,whichmayeohelpyou.
Inratherbrokeences-withsomeeffort,atfirst,butsoonwiththegreatereasethatcamefromasenseofreliefinthefidence,Maggietoldthebriefstoryofastrugglethatmustbethebeginningofalongsorrow.Onlythedaybefore,DrKennhadbeenmadeacquaihthetentsofStepheer,andhehadbelievedthematohoutthefirmationofMaggiesstatement.Thatinvoluntaryplaintofhers`OImustgo,hadremaihhimasthesignthatshewasundergoingsomeinwardflict.
Maggiedwelttheloonthefeelingwhichhadmadeherebaotherandbrother,whichmadehergtoallthememoriesofthepast.Whenshehadended,DrKennwassilentforsomemiherewasadifficultyonhismind.Heroseandwalkedupanddownthehearthwithhishandsbehindhim.Atlast,heseatedhimselfagain,andsaid,lookingatMaggie,
`Yourpromptingtogotoyourfriends-toremainwhereallthetiesofyourlifehavebeenformed-isatrueprompting,towhichtheChuritsinalstitutionanddisciplineresponds-openingitsarmstothepe-watgoveritschildrentothelast-neverabandoniiltheyarehopelesslyreprobate.AndtheChurchoughttorepresentthefeelingoftheunity,sothateveryparishshouldbeafamilyknittogetherbyChristianbrotherhoodunderaspiritualfather.ButtheideasofdisciplineandChristianfraternityareentirelyrelaxed-theyhardlybesaidtoexistinthepublid:theyhardlysurviveexceptiial,tradictoryformtheyhavetakeninthenarrowunitiesofschismatidifIwerenotsupportedbythefirmfaiththattheChurchmustultimatelyrecoverthefullforceofthatstitutionwhichisaloedtohumanneeds,Ishouldoftenloseheartatthewantoffellowshipandsenseofmutualresponsibilityamongmyownflock.Atpresehiendingtowardstherelaxationofties-towardsthesubstitutionofwaywardchoicefortheadhereoobligationwhichhasitsrootsi.Yoursdyourhearthavegivenyoutruelightonthispoint,MissTulliver;andIhavesaidallthisthatyoumayknowwhatmywishaboutyou-whatmyadvicetoyou-wouldbeiftheysprangfrommyownfeelingandopinionunmodifiedbyteragcircumstances.
DrKennpausedalittlewhile.Therewasaireabsenceofeffusivebenevolenhismaherewassomethingalmostcoldinthegravityofhislookandvoice.IfMaggiehadnotknownthathisbenevolenceerseveringinproportiontoitsreserve,shemighthavebeenchilledandfrightened.Asitwas,shelistenedexpetly,quitesurethattherewouldbesomeeffectivehelpinhiswords.Hewenton.
`Yourinexperieheworld,MissTulliver,preventsyoufromanticipatingfully,theveryunjustceptionsthatwillprobablybeformedingyourduct-ceptionswhichwillhaveabanefuleffecteveninspiteofknownevideodisprovethem.
`O,Ido-Ibegintosee,saidMaggie,uorepressthisutteranceofherretpain.`IknowIshallbeinsulted-IshallbethoughtworsethanIam.
`Youperhapsdoknow,saidDrKenn,withatouorepersonalpity,`thataletterisewhichoughttosatisfyeveryonewhohasknownanythingofyou,thatyouchosethesteepanddifficultpathofareturnthtatthemomehatreturnwasmostofalldifficult.
`Oh-whereishe?saidpie,withaflushandtremor,thatnopresencecouldhavehindered.
`Heisgoneabroad;hehaswrittenofallthatpassedtohisfather.Hehasvindicatedyoutotheutmost;andIhopetheunicationofthatlettertoyourcousinwillhaveabeneficialeffeher.
DrKennwaitedfetcalmagainbeforehewenton.
`Thatletter,asIsaid,oughttosufficeyoutopreventfalseimpressionsingyou.ButIamboundtotellyou,MissTulliver,thatnotonlytheexperienywholelife,butmyobservationwithithreedays,makesmefearthatthereishardlyanyevidencewhichwillsaveyoufromthepainfuleffectoffalseimputations.Thepersonswhoarethemostincapableofastiousstrugglesuchasyours,arepreciselythosewhowillbelikelytoshrinkfromyouonthegroundofanunjustjudgment;becausetheywillnotbelieveinyourstruggle.Ifearyourlifeherewillbeatteonlywithmuchpain,butwithmanyobstrus.Forthisreason-andforthisonly-Iaskyoutosiderwhetheritwillnotperhapsbebetterforyoutotakeasituationatadistance,acctoyourformeriion.Iwillexertmyselfatooobtainoneforyou.
`O,ifIcouldbutstophere!saidMaggie.`Ihaveobeginastrangelifeagain.Ishouldhavenostay.Ishouldfeellikealonelywanderer-cutofffromthepast.Ihavewrittentotheladywhoofferedmeasituationtoexcusemyself.IfIremainedhere,IcouldperhapsatoneioLucy-toothers-IcouldvihemthatImsorry.And,sheadded,withsomeoftheoldproudfireflashingout,`Iwillnotgoawaybecausepeoplesayfalsethingsofme.Theyshalllearractthem.IfImustgoawayatlast,because-becauseotherswishit,Iwillnotgonow.
`Well,saidDrKenn,aftersomesideration,`ifyoudetermihat,MissTulliver,youmayrelyonalltheinfluencemypositiongivesme.Iamboundtoaidandtenanceyou,bytheverydutiesofmyofficeasaparishpriest.Iwilladd,thatpersonallyIhaveadeepiinyourpeaindandwelfare.
`TheonlythingIwantissomeoccupationthatwilleogetmybreadandbeindepe,saidMaggie.`Ishallnotwantmuch.IgoonlodgingwhereIam.
`Imustthihesubjectmaturely,saidDrKenn,`AndinafewdaysIshallbebetterabletoascertainthegeneralfeeling.Ishalletoseeyou:Ishallbearyoustantlyinmind.
WhenMaggiehadlefthim,DrKennstoodruminatingwithhishandsbehindhim,andhiseyesfixedonthecarpet,underapainfulsenseofdoubtanddifficulty.Thetoepheer,whichhehadread,aualrelationsofallthepersonsed,forceduponhimpowerfullytheideaofanultimatemarriagebetweenStephenandMaggieastheleastevil;andtheimpossibilityoftheirproximityinStOggsonanyothersupposition,untilafteryearsofseparation,threwaninsurmountableprospectivedifficultyiesstayhere.Oherhaeredwithalltheprehensionofamanwhohadknownspiritualflidlivedthroughyearsofdevotedservicetohisfellow-men,intothatstateofMaggiesheartandscewhichmadethissenttothemarriageadesecrationtoher:herscemustamperedwith:theprincipleonwhichshehadactedwasasaferguidethananybalangofsequences.Hisexperieoldhimthatinterventionwastoodubiousaresponsibilitytobelightlyincurred:thepossibleissueeitherofanendeavourtorestoretheformerrelationswithLudPhilip,orofsellingsubmissiontothisirruptionofanewfeelingwashiddeninadarknessallthemoreimperablebecauseeachimmediatestepwascloggedwithevil.
Thegreatproblemoftheshiftiioweenpassionanddutyiscleartonomanwhoiscapableofapprehendingit:thequestioherthemomenthaseinwhichamanhasfallehepossibilityofarenunciationthatwillcarryanyefficadmustaccepttheswayofapassionagainstwhichhehadstruggledasatrespass,isoneforwhichwehavenomasterkeythatwillfitallcases.Thecasuistshavebeeaby-wordofreproach;buttheirpervertedspiritofminutediscriminationwastheshadowofatruthtowhicheyesasaretoooftenfatallysealed:thetruth,thatmoraljudgmentsmustremainfalseandhollow,uheyarecheckedandenlightenedbyaperpetualreferehespecialcircumstahatmarktheindividuallot.
Allpeopleofbroad,strongsensehaveaninstinctiverepughemenofmaxims;becausesuchpeopleearlydisthatthemysteriousplexityofourlifeisnottobeembracedbymaxims,andthattolaceourselvesupinformulasofthatsortistorepressallthedivinepromptingsandinspirationsthatspringfromgrowinginsightandsympathy.Andthemanofmaximsisthepopularrepresentativeofthemindsthatareguidedintheirmoraljudgmentsolelybygeneralrules,thinkingthatthesewillleadthemtojusticebyaready-madepatehod,withoutthetroubleofexertingpatience,discrimination,impartiality,withoutanycaretoassurethemselveswhethertheyhavetheinsightthatesfromahardly-earimateoftemptation,orfromalifevividandintenseenoughtohavecreatedawidefellow-feelingwithallthatishuman.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
ITwassoonknownthroughoutStOggsthatMissTulliverwaseback:shehadnot,then,elopediobemarriedtoMrStephe-atallevents,MrStephehadnotmarriedher-whichcametothesamething,sofarasherculpabilitywased.Wejudgeothersacctoresults;howelse?-notknowingtheprocessbywhichresultsarearrivedat.IfMissTulliver,afterafewmonthsofwell-chosentravel,hadreturnedasMrsStephe-ost-maritaltrousseauandalltheadvantagespossessedevenbythemostunwelewifeofanonlyson,publiion,whichatStOggs,aselsewhere,alwaysknewwhattothink,wouldhavejudgedinstrisistencywiththoseresults.Publiion,inthesecases,isalwaysofthefemininegender-nottheworld,buttheworldswife:andshewouldhaveseen,thattwohandsomeyoungpeople-thegentlemanofquitethefirstfamilyinStOggs-havingfoundthemselvesinafalseposition,hadbeeoacourse,which,tosaytheleastofit,washighlyinjudicious,andproductiveofsadpainanddisappoi,especiallytothatsweetyoungthing,MissDeane.MrStephehadcertainlynotbehavedwell;butthen,youngmenwereliabletothosesuddeninfatuatedattats-andbadasitmightseeminMrsStepheoadmitthefaiadvancesfromhercousinslover(ihadbeensaidthatshewasactuallyeoyoungWakem-oldWakemhimselfhadmentio)stillshewasveryyoung-`andadeformedyoungman,youknow!-andyousoveryfasating,and,theysay,hepositivelyworshippedher(tobesure,thattlast!)andheranawaywithheriquiteagainstherwill-andwhatcouldshedo?Shecouldntebackthen:noonewouldhavespokentoher.Andhowverywellthatmaize-colouredsatiebeesherplexion-itseemsasifthefoldsinfrontwerequiteein-severalofherdressesaremadeso-theysay,hethinksnothingtoohandsometobuyforher.PoorMissDeane!Sheisverypitiable-butthen,thereositivee-andtheairatthecoastwilldood.Afterall,ifyoufeltnomoreforherthanthat,itwasbetterforhernottomarryhim.WhatawonderfulmarriagefirllikeMissTulliver-quiteromantic!Why-youwillputupforthebhattheion.Nothinglikeerowadays!ThatyoungWakemnearlywentoutofhismind-healwayswasratherqueer;buthesgoneabroadagaioftheway-quitethebestthingforadeformedyoungman.MissUnitdeclaresshewillnevervisitMrandMrsStephe-susense!pretendingtobebetterthanotherpeople.Societycouldntbecarriedonifweinquiredintoprivateduthatway-andChristianitytellsustothinknoevil-andmybeliefis,thatMissUnithadnocardssenther.Buttheresults,weknow,werenotofakindtowarrantthisextenuationofthepast.Maggiehadreturhoutatrousseau,withoutahusband-inthatdegradedandoutcastditiontowhicherroriswellknowntolead;andtheworldswife,withthatfiinctwhichisgivenherforthepreservationofsociety,sawatoMissTulliversducthadbeenofthemostaggravatedkind.Couldanythingbemoredetestable?-Agirlsomudebtedtoherfriends-whosemotheraswellasherselfhadreceivedsomudnessfromtheDeaolaythedesignofwinningayoungmansaffesawayfromherowncousinwhohadbehavedlikeasistertoher?Winninghisaffes?ThatwasnotthephraseforsuchagirlasMissTulliver:itwouldhavebeenmorecorrecttosaythatshehadbeenactuatedbymereunwomanlyboldnessandunbridledpassion.Therewasalwayssomethiionableabouther.ThatewithyoungWakem,which,theysaid,hadbeencarriedonforyears,lookedveryill:disgusting,infact!Butwithagirlofthatdisposition!-totheworldswifetherehadalwaysbeehinginMissTulliversveryphysiquethatarefinedinstiobepropheticofharm.AsforpoorMrStephe,hewasratherpitiablethanotherwise:ayoungmanoffiveayisnottobetooseverelyjudgedinthesecases-heisreallyverymuchatthemercyofadesigningboldgirl.Anditwasclearthathehadgivenwayinspiteofhimself-hehadshakenheroffassoonashecould:iheirhavingpartedsosoonlookedverybladeed-forher.Tobesurehehadwritteer,layingalltheblameonhimself,andtellioryinaromanticfashionsoastotryandmakeherappearquitei:ofcoursehecoulddothat!Buttherefinedinstinctoftheworldswifewasnottobedeceived:providentially!-elsewhatwouldbeeofsociety?Why-herownbrotherhadturnedherfromhisdoor-hehadseenenough,youmightbesure,beforehewoulddothat.Atrulyrespectableyoungman-MrTomTulliver-quitelikelytoriseintheworld!Hissistersdisgracewasnaturallyaheavyblowtohim.Itwastobehopedthatshewouldgooutoftheneighbourhood-toAmerica,oranywhere-soastopurifytheairofStOggsfromthetaintofherpreseremelydangeroustodaughtersthere!Nogoodcouldhappentoher:-itwasonlytobehopedshewouldrepent,andthatGodwouldhavemerher:HehadnotthecareofsocietyonHishandsastheworldswifehad.
Itrequirednearlyafhtforfiincttoassureitselfoftheseinspirations;iwasawholeweekbeforeStepheercame,tellinghisfatherthefadaddingthat:hewasgoneacrosstoHolland-haddrawnupontheagentatMudportformoney-wasincapableofanyresolutionatpresent.
Maggie,allthiswhile,wastooentirelyfilledwithamonisingaospendanythoughtontheviewthatwasbeingtakenofherductbytheworldofStOggs:ayaboutStephen-Lucy-Philip-beatonherpoorheartinahard,driving,ceaselessstormofmingledlove,remorse,andpity.Ifshehadthoughtofrejeandinjusticeatall,itwouldhaveseemedtoherthattheyhaddoheirworst-thatshecouldhardlyfeelanystrokefromthemintolerablesihewordsshehadheardfromherbrotherslips.Acrossallherayforthelovedandtheihosewordsshotagainandagain,likeahorriblepangthatwouldhavebroughtmiseryanddreadevenintoaheavenofdelights.Theideaofeverrechappinessneverglimmeredinhermindforamoment;itseemedasifeverysensitivefibreinherweretooentirelypreoccupiedbypaiovibrateagaintoanotherinfluence.Lifestretchedbeforeherasoofpenitendallshecravedasshedweltourelot,wassomethingtoguaranteeherfrommorefalling:herownweaknesshauntedherlikeavisionofhideouspossibilitiesthatmadenopeaceivableexceptsuchaslayinthesenseofasurerefuge.
Butshewasnotwithoutpractitentions:theloveofindependeaandahabitforhernottorememberthatshemustgetherbreadaherprojectslookedvague,shefellbathatofreturningtoherplainsewing,andsogettingenoughtopayfingatBobs.ShemeanttopersuadehermothertoreturntotheMillbyandby,andlivewithTomagain;andsomehoworothershewouldmaintainherselfatStOggs.DrKennwouldperhapshelpherandadviseher:sherememberedhispartingwordsatthebazaar,sherememberedthemomentaryfeelingofreliahadsprunginherwhealkingwithher,aedwithyearningexpectationfortheopportunityoffidihingtohim.HermothercalledeverydayatMrDeaolearnhowLucywas:thereportwasalwayssad-nothinghadyetrousedherfromthefeeblepassivitywhichhadeonwiththefirstshock.ButofPhilip,MrsTulliverhadlearhing:naturally,noonewhomshemetwouldspeaktoheraboutwhatrelatedthter.Butatlast,shesummonedcetogoaerGlegg,whoofcoursewouldknoweverything,andhadeveoseeTomattheMillinMrsTulliversabsehoughhehadsaidnothingofwhathadpassedontheoccasion.
Assooherwasgone,Maggieputonherbo.ShehadresolvedonwalkingtotheRectoryandaskingtoseeDrKenn:hewasindeepgrief-butthegriefofanotherdoesnotjaruponusinsuchcircumstawasthefirsttimeshehadbeenbeyondthedoorsiurhelesshermindwassobentonthepurposeofherwalk,thattheunpleasantnessofmeetingpeopleonthewayandbeingstaredat,didnotoccurtoher.ButshehadnosoonerpassedbeyondthenarrowerstreetswhichshehadtothreadfromBobsdwelling,thanshebecameawareofunusualglancescastather;andthissciousnessmadeherhurryalongnervously,afraidtolohtorleft.Presently,however,shecamefullonMrsandMissTurnbull,oldacquaintancesofherfamily;theybothlookedatherstrangelyandturnedalittleasidewithoutspeaking.AllhardlookswerepaintoMaggie,butherself-reproachwastforrese:nowoheywillnotspeaktome,shethought-theyareveryfondofLucy.Butnowshekhatshewasabouttopassagroupofgentlemen,whowerestandingatthedoorofthebilliard-rooms,andshecouldnothelpseeingyoungTorrystepoutalittlewithhisglassathiseye,andbowtoherwiththatairofnonchalancewhichhemighthavebestowedonafriendlybar-maid.Maggiespridewastoointenseforhernottofeelthatstihemidstofhersorrow;andforthefirsttimethethoughttoholdofherthatshewouldhaveotherobloquycastonherbesidesthatwhichwasfelttobeduetoherbreachoffaithtowardsLucy.ButshewasattheRectorynow;there,perhaps,shewouldfindsomethihaributioributionmayefromanyvoice-thehardest,cruelest,mostimbruteduratthestreet-erflictit:surelyhelpandpityarerarerthings-moreneedfulfortherighteoustobestow.
Shewasshownupatoerbeingannounced,intoDrKennsstudy,wherehesatamongstpiled-upbooks,forwhichhehadlittleappetite,leaninghischeekagainsttheheadofhisyouchild,agirlofthree.Thechildwassentawaywiththeservantahedoorwasclosed,DrKennsaid,plagachairfie,
`Iwasingtoseeyou,MissTulliver-youhaveanticipatedme-Iamgladyoudid.
Maggielookedathimwithherchildlikedireessasshehaddohebazaar,andsaid,`Iwanttotellyoueverything.Buthereyesfilledfastwithtearsasshesaidit,andallthepent-upexcitementofherhumiliatingwalkwouldhaveitsventbeforeshecouldsaymore.
`Dotellmeeverything,DrKennsaid,withquietkindnessinhisgravefirmvoice.`Thinkofmeasoowhomalongexperiencehasbeengranted,whichmayeohelpyou.
Inratherbrokeences-withsomeeffort,atfirst,butsoonwiththegreatereasethatcamefromasenseofreliefinthefidence,Maggietoldthebriefstoryofastrugglethatmustbethebeginningofalongsorrow.Onlythedaybefore,DrKennhadbeenmadeacquaihthetentsofStepheer,andhehadbelievedthematohoutthefirmationofMaggiesstatement.Thatinvoluntaryplaintofhers`OImustgo,hadremaihhimasthesignthatshewasundergoingsomeinwardflict.
Maggiedwelttheloonthefeelingwhichhadmadeherebaotherandbrother,whichmadehergtoallthememoriesofthepast.Whenshehadended,DrKennwassilentforsomemiherewasadifficultyonhismind.Heroseandwalkedupanddownthehearthwithhishandsbehindhim.Atlast,heseatedhimselfagain,andsaid,lookingatMaggie,
`Yourpromptingtogotoyourfriends-toremainwhereallthetiesofyourlifehavebeenformed-isatrueprompting,towhichtheChuritsinalstitutionanddisciplineresponds-openingitsarmstothepe-watgoveritschildrentothelast-neverabandoniiltheyarehopelesslyreprobate.AndtheChurchoughttorepresentthefeelingoftheunity,sothateveryparishshouldbeafamilyknittogetherbyChristianbrotherhoodunderaspiritualfather.ButtheideasofdisciplineandChristianfraternityareentirelyrelaxed-theyhardlybesaidtoexistinthepublid:theyhardlysurviveexceptiial,tradictoryformtheyhavetakeninthenarrowunitiesofschismatidifIwerenotsupportedbythefirmfaiththattheChurchmustultimatelyrecoverthefullforceofthatstitutionwhichisaloedtohumanneeds,Ishouldoftenloseheartatthewantoffellowshipandsenseofmutualresponsibilityamongmyownflock.Atpresehiendingtowardstherelaxationofties-towardsthesubstitutionofwaywardchoicefortheadhereoobligationwhichhasitsrootsi.Yoursdyourhearthavegivenyoutruelightonthispoint,MissTulliver;andIhavesaidallthisthatyoumayknowwhatmywishaboutyou-whatmyadvicetoyou-wouldbeiftheysprangfrommyownfeelingandopinionunmodifiedbyteragcircumstances.
DrKennpausedalittlewhile.Therewasaireabsenceofeffusivebenevolenhismaherewassomethingalmostcoldinthegravityofhislookandvoice.IfMaggiehadnotknownthathisbenevolenceerseveringinproportiontoitsreserve,shemighthavebeenchilledandfrightened.Asitwas,shelistenedexpetly,quitesurethattherewouldbesomeeffectivehelpinhiswords.Hewenton.
`Yourinexperieheworld,MissTulliver,preventsyoufromanticipatingfully,theveryunjustceptionsthatwillprobablybeformedingyourduct-ceptionswhichwillhaveabanefuleffecteveninspiteofknownevideodisprovethem.
`O,Ido-Ibegintosee,saidMaggie,uorepressthisutteranceofherretpain.`IknowIshallbeinsulted-IshallbethoughtworsethanIam.
`Youperhapsdoknow,saidDrKenn,withatouorepersonalpity,`thataletterisewhichoughttosatisfyeveryonewhohasknownanythingofyou,thatyouchosethesteepanddifficultpathofareturnthtatthemomehatreturnwasmostofalldifficult.
`Oh-whereishe?saidpie,withaflushandtremor,thatnopresencecouldhavehindered.
`Heisgoneabroad;hehaswrittenofallthatpassedtohisfather.Hehasvindicatedyoutotheutmost;andIhopetheunicationofthatlettertoyourcousinwillhaveabeneficialeffeher.
DrKennwaitedfetcalmagainbeforehewenton.
`Thatletter,asIsaid,oughttosufficeyoutopreventfalseimpressionsingyou.ButIamboundtotellyou,MissTulliver,thatnotonlytheexperienywholelife,butmyobservationwithithreedays,makesmefearthatthereishardlyanyevidencewhichwillsaveyoufromthepainfuleffectoffalseimputations.Thepersonswhoarethemostincapableofastiousstrugglesuchasyours,arepreciselythosewhowillbelikelytoshrinkfromyouonthegroundofanunjustjudgment;becausetheywillnotbelieveinyourstruggle.Ifearyourlifeherewillbeatteonlywithmuchpain,butwithmanyobstrus.Forthisreason-andforthisonly-Iaskyoutosiderwhetheritwillnotperhapsbebetterforyoutotakeasituationatadistance,acctoyourformeriion.Iwillexertmyselfatooobtainoneforyou.
`O,ifIcouldbutstophere!saidMaggie.`Ihaveobeginastrangelifeagain.Ishouldhavenostay.Ishouldfeellikealonelywanderer-cutofffromthepast.Ihavewrittentotheladywhoofferedmeasituationtoexcusemyself.IfIremainedhere,IcouldperhapsatoneioLucy-toothers-IcouldvihemthatImsorry.And,sheadded,withsomeoftheoldproudfireflashingout,`Iwillnotgoawaybecausepeoplesayfalsethingsofme.Theyshalllearractthem.IfImustgoawayatlast,because-becauseotherswishit,Iwillnotgonow.
`Well,saidDrKenn,aftersomesideration,`ifyoudetermihat,MissTulliver,youmayrelyonalltheinfluencemypositiongivesme.Iamboundtoaidandtenanceyou,bytheverydutiesofmyofficeasaparishpriest.Iwilladd,thatpersonallyIhaveadeepiinyourpeaindandwelfare.
`TheonlythingIwantissomeoccupationthatwilleogetmybreadandbeindepe,saidMaggie.`Ishallnotwantmuch.IgoonlodgingwhereIam.
`Imustthihesubjectmaturely,saidDrKenn,`AndinafewdaysIshallbebetterabletoascertainthegeneralfeeling.Ishalletoseeyou:Ishallbearyoustantlyinmind.
WhenMaggiehadlefthim,DrKennstoodruminatingwithhishandsbehindhim,andhiseyesfixedonthecarpet,underapainfulsenseofdoubtanddifficulty.Thetoepheer,whichhehadread,aualrelationsofallthepersonsed,forceduponhimpowerfullytheideaofanultimatemarriagebetweenStephenandMaggieastheleastevil;andtheimpossibilityoftheirproximityinStOggsonanyothersupposition,untilafteryearsofseparation,threwaninsurmountableprospectivedifficultyiesstayhere.Oherhaeredwithalltheprehensionofamanwhohadknownspiritualflidlivedthroughyearsofdevotedservicetohisfellow-men,intothatstateofMaggiesheartandscewhichmadethissenttothemarriageadesecrationtoher:herscemustamperedwith:theprincipleonwhichshehadactedwasasaferguidethananybalangofsequences.Hisexperieoldhimthatinterventionwastoodubiousaresponsibilitytobelightlyincurred:thepossibleissueeitherofanendeavourtorestoretheformerrelationswithLudPhilip,orofsellingsubmissiontothisirruptionofanewfeelingwashiddeninadarknessallthemoreimperablebecauseeachimmediatestepwascloggedwithevil.
Thegreatproblemoftheshiftiioweenpassionanddutyiscleartonomanwhoiscapableofapprehendingit:thequestioherthemomenthaseinwhichamanhasfallehepossibilityofarenunciationthatwillcarryanyefficadmustaccepttheswayofapassionagainstwhichhehadstruggledasatrespass,isoneforwhichwehavenomasterkeythatwillfitallcases.Thecasuistshavebeeaby-wordofreproach;buttheirpervertedspiritofminutediscriminationwastheshadowofatruthtowhicheyesasaretoooftenfatallysealed:thetruth,thatmoraljudgmentsmustremainfalseandhollow,uheyarecheckedandenlightenedbyaperpetualreferehespecialcircumstahatmarktheindividuallot.
Allpeopleofbroad,strongsensehaveaninstinctiverepughemenofmaxims;becausesuchpeopleearlydisthatthemysteriousplexityofourlifeisnottobeembracedbymaxims,andthattolaceourselvesupinformulasofthatsortistorepressallthedivinepromptingsandinspirationsthatspringfromgrowinginsightandsympathy.Andthemanofmaximsisthepopularrepresentativeofthemindsthatareguidedintheirmoraljudgmentsolelybygeneralrules,thinkingthatthesewillleadthemtojusticebyaready-madepatehod,withoutthetroubleofexertingpatience,discrimination,impartiality,withoutanycaretoassurethemselveswhethertheyhavetheinsightthatesfromahardly-earimateoftemptation,orfromalifevividandintenseenoughtohavecreatedawidefellow-feelingwithallthatishuman.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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