My Inventions：The Autobiography of Nikola Tesla. I. My Early Life

  Theprogressivedevelopmentofmanisvitallydepeoion.Itisthemostimportantproductofhiscreativebrain.Itsultimatepurposeisthepletemasteryofmihematerialworld,theharnessingoftheforcesofnaturetohumahisisthedifficulttaskoftheiorwhoisoftenmisuoodandunrewarded.Buthefindsamplepensationinthepleasingexercisesofhispowersandintheknowledgeofbeihatexceptionallyprivilegedclasswithoutwhomtheracewouldhavelongagoperishedierstruggleagainstpitilesselements.

  Speakingformyself,Ihavealreadyhadmorethanmyfullmeasureofthisexquisiteenjoyment,somuchthatformanyyearsmylifewaslittleshortoftinuousrapture.IamcreditedwithbeihehardestworkersandperhapsIam,ifthoughtistheequivalentoflabor,forIhavedevotedtoitalmostallofmywakinghours.Butifworkisinterpretedtobeadefiniteperformanaspecifiedtimeacctidrule,thenImaybetheworstofidlers.Everyeffortunderpulsiondemandsasacrificeoflife-energy.Ineverpaidsuchaprithetrary,Ihavethrivedonmythoughts.

  Iingtogiveaectedandfaithfulatofmyactivitiesinthisseriesofarticles,Imustdwell,howeverrelutly,ontheimpressionsofmyyouthandthecircumstandeventswhichhavebeeninstrumentalierminingmycareer.

  Ourfirstendeavorsarepurelyinstinctive,promptingsofanimaginationvividandundisciplined.Aswegrowolderreasositselfandwebeoreandmoresystematiddesigning.Butthoseearlyimpulses,thonotimmediatelyproductive,areofthegreatestmomentandmayshapeourverydestinies.Indeed,IfeelnowthathadIuoodandcultivatedinsteadofsuppressingthem,Iwouldhaveaddedsubstantialvaluetomybequesttotheworld.ButnotuntilIhadattainedmanhooddidIrealizethatIwasaor.

  Thiswasduetoanumberofcauses.InthefirstplaceIhadabrotherwhowasgiftedtoaraordinarydegree—ohoserarephenomenaofmentalitywhichbiologivestigationhasfailedtoexplain.Hisprematuredeathleftmyparentsdissolate.

  Weownedahorsewhichhadbeeedtousbyadearfriend.ItwasamagnifitanimalofArabianbreed,possessedofalmosthumanintelligendwascaredforaedbythewholefamily,havingononeoccasionsavedmyfather'slifeunderremarkablecircumstances.Myfatherhadbeencalledoernighttoperformadutyandwhilecrossingthemountains,iedbywolves,thehorsebecamefrightenedandranaway,throwinghimviolentlytotheground.Itarrivedhomebleedingandexhausted,butafterthealarmwassoundedimmediatelydashedoffagaiurningtothespot,andbeforetheseargpartywerefaroheyweremetbymyfather,whohadrecoveredsciousnessandremounted,notrealizingthathehadbeenlyinginthesnowforseveralhours.Thishorsewasresponsibleformybrother'sinjuriesfromwhichhedied.Iwithetragieandalthofifty-sixyearshaveelapsedsince,myvisualimpressionofithaslostsforce.Therecolleofhisattaismadeeveryeffortofmineseemdullinparison.

  AnythingIdidthatwascreditablemerelycausedmyparentstofeeltheirlossmorekeenly.SoIgrewupwithlittlefidenmyself.ButIwasfarfrombeingsideredastupidboy,ifIamtojudgefromaniofwhichIhavestillastrongremembranedaytheAldermenwerepassingthruastreetwhereIlaywithotherboys.Theoldestofthesevenerablegentlemehycitizen—pausedtogiveasilverpiecetoeachofus.ingtomehesuddenlystoptandanded,"Lookinmyeyes."Imethisgaze,myhandoutstretchedtoreceivethemuchvalued,when,tomydismay,hesaid,"No,notmuch,yougetnothingfromme,youaretoosmart."

  Theyusedtotellafunnystoryaboutme.Ihadtwooldauntswithwrinkledfaces,ohemhavingtwoteethprotrudinglikethetusksofanelephantwhichsheburiedinmycheekeverytimeshekissedme.Nothingwouldscarememorethantheprospectofbeinghuggedbytheseasaffeateasunattractiverelatives.Ithappehatwhilebeingcarriedinmymother'sarmstheyaskedmewhowastheprettierofthetwo.Afterexaminingtheirfatently,Iahoughtfully,pointingtoohem,"Thishereisnotasuglyastheother."

  Thenagain,Iwasintendedfrommyverybirthfortheclericalprofessionandthisthoughtstantlyoppressedme.Iloobeanengimyfatherwasinflexible.HewasthesonofanofficerwhoservedinthearmyoftheGreatNapoleonand,inonwithhisbrother,professorofmathematiapromiinstitution,hadreceivedamilitaryeducationbut,singularlyenough,laterembracedtheclergyinwhichvocationheachievedeminence.Hewasaveryeruditemaablenaturalphilosopher,poetandwriterandhissermonsweresaidtobeaseloquentasthoseofAbrahamaSancta-Clara.Hehadaprodigiousmemoryandfrequentlyrecitedatlengthfromworksinseverallanguages.Heoftenremarkedplayfullythatifsomeoftheclassicswerelosthecouldrestorethem.Hisstyleofwritingwasmuchadmired.Hepenencesshortandterseandwasfullofwitandsatire.Thehumorousremarkshemadewerealeculiarandcharacteristic.Justtoillustrate,Imaymentiowoinstances.

  Amongthehelptherewasacross-eyedmancalledMane,employedtodoworkaroundthefarm.Hewaschoppingwoodoneday.Asheswungtheaxemyfather,whostoodnearbyaveryunfortable,cautionedhim,"Fod'ssake,Mane,donotstrikeatwhatyouarelookingbutatwhatyouiohit."

  Onanotheroccasioakingoutforadriveafriendwhocarelesslypermittedhiscostlyfurcoattorubonthecarriagewheel.Myfatherremindedhimofitsaying,"Pullinyourcoat,youareruiningmytire."

  Hehadtheoddhabitoftalkingtohimselfandwouldoftencarryonananimatedversationandindulgeiedargument,gioneofhisvoice.Acasuallistenermighthaveswornthatseveralpeoplewereintheroom.

  AlthoImusttraother'sinflueeveriivenessIpossess,thetraininghegavememusthavebeenhelpful.Itprisedallsortsofexercises—as,guessiher'sthoughts,discthedefeeformorexpressioingloencesorperfmentalcalculations.Thesedailylessonswereintethenmemoryandreasonandespeciallytodevelopthecriticalsense,andwereundoubtedlyverybeneficial.

  Mymotherdesdedfromoheoldestfamiliesinthetryandalineofiors.Bothherfatherandgrandfatherinatednumerousimplementsforhousehold,agriculturalandotheruses.Shewasatrulygreatwoman,ofrareskill,ceandfortitude,whohadbravedthestormsoflifeandpastthrumanyatryingexperience.Whenshewassixteenaviruleilencesweptthetry.Herfatherwascalledawaytoadmihelastsacramentstothedyingandduringhisabsenceshewentaloheassistanceofaneighbfamilywhowerestribythedreaddisease.Allofthemembers,fiveinnumber,succumbedinrapidsuccessiohed,clothedandlaidoutthebodies,decoratihflowersacctotheofthetryandwheherreturnedhefouhingreadyforaChristianburial.

  Mymotherwasaorofthefirstorderandwould,Ibelieve,haveachievedgreatthingshadshenotbeeefrommodernlifeanditsmultifoldopportunities.Sheiedandstructedallkindsoftoolsanddevidwovethefidesignsfromthreadwhichunbyher.Sheevenplaheseeds,raisedtheplantsandseparatedthefibersherself.Sheworkediigably,frombreakofdaytilllateatnight,andmostofthewearingapparelandfurnishingsofthehomewastheproductofherhands.Whensheastsixty,herfingerswerestillnimbleenoughtotiethreeknotsinaneyelash.

  Therewasanotherandstillmoreimportantreasonformylateawakening.InmyboyhoodIsufferedfromapeculiaraffliduetotheappearanages,oftenapaniedbystrongflashesoflight,whichmarredthesightofrealobjedinterferedwithmythoughtanda.TheywerepicturesofthingsandseswhichIhadreallyseen,hoseIimagined.WhenawordokeheimageoftheobjectitdesignatedwouldpresentitselfvividlytomyvisionandsometimesIwasquiteuodistinguishwhetherwhatIsawwastangibleornot.Thiscausedmegreatdisfortanday.hestudentsofpsychologyorphysiologywhomIhavesultedcouldeverexplainsatisfactorilythesepheheyseemtohavebeenuhoIrobablypredisposedasIknowthatmybrotherexperiencedasimilartrouble.ThetheoryIhaveformulatedisthattheimagesweretheresultofareflexafromthebrainoinaundergreatexcitation.Theycertainlywerenothalluationssuchasareprodudiseasedandanguishedminds,forinotherrespectsIwasnormalandposed.Togiveanideaofmydistress,supposethatIhadwitnessedafuneralorsomesuerve-ragspectacle.Theably,iillnessofnight,avividpictureofthesewouldthrustitselfbeforemyeyesandpersistdespiteallmyeffortstobanishit.SometimesitwouldevenremainfixtinspacethoIpushedmyhandthruit.Ifmyexplanationiscorrect,itshouldbeabletoprojeastheimageofanyobjeeceivesandmakeitvisible.Suadvancewouldrevolutionizeallhumaions.Iamvihatthiswonderdwillbeaplishedioe;ImayaddthatIhavedevotedmuchthoughttothesolutionoftheproblem.

  TofreemyselfofthesetormentingappearariedtotratemymindohingelseIhadseen,andinthiswayIwouldoftenobtaintemporaryrelief;butiogetitIhadtojuretinuouslynewimages.ItwasnotlongbeforeIfoundthatIhadexhaustedallofthoseatmyand;my"reel"hadrunout,asitwere,becauseIhadseenlittleoftheworld—onlyobjemyhomeandtheimmediatesurroundings.AsIperformedthesementaloperationsforthesedorthirdtime,iochasetheappearancesfrommyvision,theremedygraduallylostallitsforce.ThenIinstinctivelyeomakeexcursionsbeyondthelimitsofthesmallworldofwhichIhadknowledge,andIsawnewses.ThesewereatfirstveryblurredandindistindwouldflitawaywhenItriedtotratemyattentionuponthem,butbyandbyIsucceededinfixiheygainedihanddistinessandfinallyassumedthecretenessofrealthings.IsoondiscoveredthatmybestfortwasattainedifIsimplywentoninmyvisionfartherandfarther,gettingnewimpressionsallthetime,andsoIbegantotravel—ofcourse,inmymind.Everynight(andsometimesduringtheday),whenalone,Iwouldstartonmyjourneys—seenewplaces,citiesandtries—livethere,meetpeopleandmakefriendshipsandacquaintand,howeverunbelievable,itisafactthattheywerejustasdeartomeasthoseinactuallifeandnotabitlessinteheirmaions.

  ThisIdidstantlyuntilIwasaboutseventeehoughtsturnedseriouslytoiion.ThenIobservedtomydelightthatIcouldvisualizewiththegreatestfacility.Ineedednomodels,drawingsorexperiments.Icouldpicturethemallasrealinmymind.ThusIhavebeenledunsciouslytoevolvewhatIsiderahodofmaterializingiiveceptsandideas,whichisradicallyoppositetothepurelyexperimentalandisinmyopinioneversomuchmoreexpeditiousandeffit.

  Themomentonestructsadevicetocarryintopractiseacrudeideahefindshimselfunavoidablyengrossedwiththedetailsasoftheapparatus.Ashegoesonimprovingandrestrug,hisforceoftrationdiminishesandhelosessightofthegreatunderlyingprinciple.Resultsmaybeobtaialwaysatthesacrificeofquality.Mymethodisdifferent.Idonotrushintoactualwork.Wheaartatoncebuildingitupinmyimagination.Igethestruakeimprovementsaethedevimymind.ItisabsolutelyimmaterialtomewhetherIrunmyturbihoughtortestitinmyshop.Ieveisoutofbalahereisnodiffereever,theresultsarethesame.InthiswayIamabletorapidlydevelopandperfectaceptionwithouttouganything.WhenIhavegonesofarastoembodyintheiioneverypossibleimprovementIthinkofandseenofaultanywhere,Iputintocreteformthisfinalproduybrain.InvariablymydeviceworksasIceivedthatitshould,andtheexperimentesoutexactlyasIpla.Iyyearstherehasnotbeenasingleexception.Whyshoulditbeotherwise?Engineeriridmeical,ispositiveis.Thereisscarcelyasubjectthatathematicallytreatedandtheeffectscalculatedortheresultsdeterminedbeforehandfromtheavailabletheoretidpracticaldata.Thecarryingoutintopractiseofacrudeideaasisbeinggenerallydoneis,Ihold,nothingbutawasteofenergy,moneyandtime.

  Myearlyafflihad,however,anotherpensation.Theincessaalexertiondevelopedmypowersofobservationandeodiscoveratruthofgreatimportance.IhadhattheappearanageswasalrecededbyactualvisionofsesunderpeculiarandgenerallyveryexceptionalditionsandIelledoneachoccasiontolocatetheinalimpulse.AfterawhilethiseffrewtobealmostautomatidIgainedgreatfacilityinegcauseandeffect.SoonIbecameaware,tomysurprise,thateverythoughtIceivedwassuggestedbyaernalimpression.Notonlythisbutallmyaswerepromptedinasimilarway.InthecourseoftimeitbecameperfectlyevidenttomethatIwasmerelyanautomatonehpowerofmovement,respondingtothestimuliofthesenseansandthinkingandagaccly.Thepracticalresultofthiswastheartoftelautomaticswhichhasbeensofarcarriedoutonlyinanimperfeslatentpossibilitieswill,however,beeventuallyshown.Ihavebeensinceyearsplanningself-trolledautomataandbelievethatmeismsbeproducedwhichwillactasifpossessedofreason,toalimiteddegree,andwillcreatearevolutioninmanyercialandindustrialdepartments.

  IwasabouttwelveyearsoldwhenIfirstsucceededinbanishinganimagefrommyvisionbywilfuleffort,butIneverhadanytrolovertheflashesoflighttowhichIhavereferred.Theywere,perhaps,mystraexperiendinexplicable.TheyusuallyoccurredwhenIfoundmyselfinadangerousordistressingsituation,orwhenIwasgreatlyexhilarated.IancesIhaveseenalltheairaroundmefilledwithtonguesoflivingflame.Theiriy,insteadofdiminishing,increasedwithtimeandseeminglyattainedamaximumwhenIwasabouttwenty-fiveyearsold.

  WhileinParis,in1883,apromiFrenufacturersentmeaninvitationtoashootingexpeditionwhichIaccepted.Ihadbeenlongfihefactoryandthefreshairhadawonderfullyinvigoratingeffee.OurntothecitythatnightIfeltapositivesensationthatmybrainhadcaughtfire.IsawalightasthoasmallsunwaslocatedinitandIpastthewholenightapplyingcoldpressionstomytorturedhead.Finallytheflashesdiminishedinfrequendforcebutittookmorethanthreeweeksbeforetheywhollysubsided.WhenasedinvitatioeomemyanswerhatiO!

  Theseluminouspheillmahemselvesfromtimetotime,aswhenaneeninguppossibilitiesstrikesme,buttheyarenoloing,beingofrelativelysmalliy.WhenIyeyesIinvariablyobservefirst,abackgroundofverydarkanduniformblue,notuheskyonaclearbutstarlessnight.Inafewsedsthisfieldbeesanimatedwithinnumerablestillatingflakesofgreen,arrangedinseverallayersandadvangtowardsme.Thenthereappears,tht,abeautifulpatternoftwosystemsofparallelandcloselyspacedlirightaooher,inallsortsofcolorswithyellow-greenandgoldpredominating.Immediatelythereafterthelinesgrhterandthewholeisthicklysprihdotsoftwinklinglight.Thispicturemovesslowlyacrossthefieldofvisionandinabouttensedsvaheleft,leavingbehindagroundofratherunpleasantagreywhichquicklygiveswaytoabillowyseaofclouds,seeminglytryingtomouldthemselvesinlivingshapes.ItiscuriousthatIotprojeintothisgreyuntilthesedphaseisreached.Everytime,beforefallingasleep,imagesofpersonsorobjectsflitbeforemyview.WhehemIknowthatIamabouttolosesciousness.Iftheyareabsentandrefusetoe，itmeansasleeplessnight.

  TowhataimaginationplayedapartinmyearlylifeImayillustratebyanotheroddexperience.LikemostchildrenIwasfondofjumpinganddevelopedanintensedesiretosupportmyselfintheair.OccasionallyastrongwindrichlychargedwithoxygenblewfromthemountainsrenderingmybodyaslightascorkandthenIwouldleapandfloatinspaceforalongtime.ItwasadelightfulsensationandmydisappoiwaskeeerIundeceivedmyself.

  DuringthatperiodItractedmanystrangelikes,dislikesandhabits,someofwhichItracetoexternalimpressionswhileothersareunatable.Ihadaviolentaversionagainsttheearringsofwomenbutotherors,asbracelets,pleasedmemoreorlessacctodesign.ThesightofapearlwouldalmostgivemeafitbutIwasfasatedwiththeglitterofcrystalsorobjectswithsharpedgesandplanesurfaces.Iwouldnottouchthehairofotherpeopleexcept,perhaps,atthepointofarevolver.Iwouldgetafeverbylookingatapeadifapiephorwasanywhereinthehouse,itcausedmethekeedisfort.EvennowIamnotinsensibletosomeoftheseupsettingimpulses.WhenIdroplittlesquaresofpaperinadishfilledwithliquid,Ialwayssenseapeculiarandawfultasteinmymouth.Itedthestepsinmywalksandcalculatedthecubicaltentsofsoupplates,coffeecupsandpiecesoffood—otherwisemymealwasunenjoyable.AllrepeatedactsoroperationsIperformedhadtobedivisiblebythreeandifImistIfeltimpelledtodoitallain,evenifittookhours.

  Uptotheageofeightyears,mycharacterwasweakandvacillating.Ihadhercethtoformafirmresolve.Myfeelingscameinwavesandsurgesandvibratedunceasinglybetweeremes.Mywisheswereofingfordliketheheadsofthehydra,theymultiplied.Iressedbythoughtsofpaininlifeahandreligiousfear.Iwasswayedbysuperstitiousbeliefandlivedinstantdreadofthespiritofevil,ofghostsandogresandotherunholymonstersofthedark.Then,allatoherecameatremendousgewhichalteredthecourseofmywholeexistence.

  OfallthingsIlikedbooksthebest.MyfatherhadalargelibraryandwheneverIariedtosatisfymypassionforreading.Hediditandwouldflyintewhenhecaughtmei.HehidthedleswhenhefoundthatIwasreadingi.Hedidnotwaospoilmyeyes.ButIobtaiallow,madethewigandcastthestitotinforms,andeverynightIwouldbushthekeyholeandthecradread,oftentilldawn,whenallotherssleptandmymotherstartedonherarduousdailytask.

  OnoneoccasionIcameacrossaitledAbafi(theSonofAba),aSerbiantranslationofawellknownHungarianwriter,Josika.Thisworksomehowawakenedmydormantpowersofwillaopractiseself-trol.Atfirstmyresolutionsfadedlikesnoril,butinalittlewhileIqueredmyweaknessaapleasureIneverknewbefore—thatofdoingasIwilled.

  Inthecourseoftimethisvigorousmentalexercisebecameseature.Attheoutsetmywisheshadtobesubduedbutgraduallydesireandwillgrewtobeidentical.AfteryearsofsuchdisciplineIgainedsopleteamasteryovermyselfthatItoyedwithpassionswhichhavemearutosomeofthestromen.AtacertainageItractedamaniafamblingwhichgreatlyworriedmyparents.Tositdowntoagameofcardswasformethequintessenceofpleasure.Myfatherledanexemplarylifeandcouldnotexcusethesenselesswasteoftimeandmoneyinwhidulged.Ihadastrongresolvebutmyphilosophywasbad.Iwouldsaytohim,"IstopwheneverIpleasebutisitworthwhiletogiveupthatwhichIwouldpurchasewiththejoysofParadise?"Onfrequentoccasionshegaveventtohisangerandptbutmymotherwasdifferent.Sheuoodthecharaenahatone'ssalvationcouldonlybebroughtaboutthruhisownefforts.Oernoon,Iremember,whenIhadlostallmymoneyandwascravingfame,shecametomewitharollofbillsandsaid,"Goandenjoyyourself.Thesooneryouloseallwepossessthebetteritwillbe.Iknowthatyouwillgetoverit."Shewasright.Iqueredmypassionthenandthereandrettedthatithadnotbeenahuimesasstrong.Inotonlyvanquishedbuttoreitfrommyheartsoasnottoleaveevenatraceofdesire.EversitimeIhavebeenasindifferenttoanyfamblingastopigteeth.

  DuringanotherperiodIsmokedexcessively,threateningtoruih.ThenmywillasserteditselfandInotonlystoptbutdestroyedallination.LongagoIsufferedfromhearttroubleuntilIdiscoveredthatitwasduetotheicupofcoffeeIedeverym.IdistiohoIfessitwasnotaask.InthiswayIcheckedandbridledotherhabitsandpassionsandhavenotonlypreservedmylifebutderivedanimmenseamountofsatisfafromwhatmostmenwouldsiderprivationandsacrifice.

  AfterfinishiudiesatthePolyteistituteandUyIhadapletenervousbreakdownandwhilethemaladylastedIobservedmanypherangeandunbelievable.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读

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